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Serious about going back

Serious about going back

Old Dec 8th 2010, 6:39 pm
  #31  
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Default Re: Serious about going back

my kids are 7, 11 & 13 and dont get as much homeowrk as they did back home and ceratinly dont get homework every night,,in fact i dont think they get enough so i dont know what schools your kids are in because if they are in public schools i assume they are in the same system as mine???
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Old Dec 8th 2010, 6:47 pm
  #32  
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Default Re: Serious about going back

Originally Posted by dbd33 View Post
Were there a lily gilding award this would a strong contender.
Thats what else I miss the sense of humour.I knew there was something!!!!!
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Old Dec 8th 2010, 9:36 pm
  #33  
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Default Re: Serious about going back

Originally Posted by taichiiqueen View Post
Thats what else I miss the sense of humour.I knew there was something!!!!!
I know what you mean...good luck taichiiqueen
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Old Dec 9th 2010, 4:35 am
  #34  
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Default Re: Serious about going back

As others have mostly said: your experience is NOT the norm. And you're right to be concerned about your kid's happiness in that environment.

However, our son never appeared to have hours of homework (in Calgary). That said, I don't think he really worked much at all, ... did the bare minimum (or less) ... but now he has got his act together more and is upgrading his grade 12 subjects.

He never had a problem making friends and they'd hang out at the mall or go skating/street or ice hockey, and now snow-boarding/skiiing, and camping trips now they are older. Right from the start it seems he was having sleepovers at friends' houses or here.

However, your mind is made up, so you do what you have to do. I just didn't want newer readers thinking that was necessarily what to expect.
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Old Dec 9th 2010, 5:21 pm
  #35  
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Default Re: Serious about going back

Yes, I agree it takes a long time to settle in and 5 months (without experiencing your first winter) is the wrong time to make a decision to go back home. You have to give it at least 2 years to know for sure, come the spring and summer I'm sure you will be getting lots of visitors.

As for schools, homework, and kids being kids...my kids don't get too much homework (same as comment earlier, they get most of their work done in the classroom). They have lots of friends at school, and see them out of school for playing outside or sleepovers at our house, or at their friends. The winter never puts them off playing outside either, they ski, sled, ice-skate, snowball fights, and snow fort building.

I can't believe how much homework you are saying they get....crazy, have you tried talking with the teacher - I'm afraid that is one thing I would not put up with...you have to let them have fun once they are out of school.

I hope you change your mind and give it a good go.....
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Old Dec 9th 2010, 5:23 pm
  #36  
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Default Re: Serious about going back

I am also puzzled on the levels of homework. Taichiiqueen, how old is your son? I believe to pass the grade you have to have an average of 50% - that would be a kid that struggles really (imo).

My kid, 15, grade 10 is doing SOME IB subjects - she found full IB a bit much with some of her other issues she is having so chose to cut down - saying that she has just switched from a regular subject next semester to IB Japanese - I really can't help on that one if she gets stuck Anyway - she gets very little homework, quite often it's just finishing off what she didn't manage in class or reading. I do believe she could put a little more effort in, especially revising at exam time but that's just me (and her Dad).

We do see kids playing in the streets, the ice skate rink is not used too often, I think parents rely on organised activities around here, if you have a boy then it seems to be imperative that they go to hockey school, they all seem to want the next mega famous hockey player in the family, girls do dance. It does amaze me how much time some parents spend going here and there dropping kids off one place picking up at another to drop off at another a little like a status symbol I suppose, my kid is in a,b and c! What's yours in?

Anyway, you know if this whole thing is going to work for you, I remember being on cloud nine for the first 3.5 years, the last 9 months or so I have been wondering if it was all really worth it - the goal posts we were aiming for have moved drastically and I have given up, if I knew it would be like this I would have stayed where I was BUT I do love living here, it's just the circumstance I don't like.
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Old Dec 9th 2010, 5:35 pm
  #37  
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Default Re: Serious about going back

Originally Posted by taichiiqueen View Post
I think you have hit the nail on the head its the environment. Maybe thousands would give their right arm to be here, but I gave it a go and it didn't work.

I'm not used to small parks and lots of roads with overkill of activities and no children playing out.I come from a small village right on the beach with the moors in the background.That's what my son is missing, not that he doesn't want to do activities he has three each week, but he misses playing out with friends.Children seem very guided here, and I don't want that, nor for that matter does he.

I'm not upset, in fact its made me realise what a great place we had in the UK,guess we didn't appreciate it enough.There was no choice in coming here, OH work is here, so we cant move, only back home.

BUT each to their own, I just want my son to have a childhood.Not to be drowned in homework and activities.

Apologies, for some reason I got the impression your son was doing french..

I still think that looking at an alternative place for him to go to school and for you to live in St. Albert would be a good idea, I was not suggesting moving to a different town (I realise your husband's work is in St Albert), just moving within it.

I have to admit, it suprises me that none of the children where you are living "play out" or hang.. I have never heard of that happening elsewhere, mostly the children have a very active social life (not just organised activities) which is why I think moving to another neighborhood would probably make a huge difference to all your lives.

It's an adjustment period for all of you, but you really need to embrace and explore the new life instead of hankering after the old - 5 months is not a lot of time really. Having said that, maybe an emigrants life is not for you.

Are you thinking about and remembering all the bad things about the UK which made you leave in the first place?

Whatever your decision, I wish you well... and the very best of luck... and happiness.

Take care.

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Old Dec 9th 2010, 5:47 pm
  #38  
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Default Re: Serious about going back

I think the OP doesn`t want to admit the part the parents have played in the schooling issue in which their son finds himself.

If one wants to keep up with the Joneses, one is going to have to accept such stuff. As I said above, and as others have confirmed, "regular" kids have no such issues.
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Old Dec 9th 2010, 5:50 pm
  #39  
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Default Re: Serious about going back

Posters are focusing on the school issue, but I am not sure that this is at the heart of this matter.
People often use reasons related to their children as justification for their choices because everyone will naturally sympathise (the OP should know this as a teacher), but this just doesn't really ring true here. The homework issue could be resolved relatively easily - talk to the teacher or the school, even move schools if necessary (it's not like he's been there long, so it isn't a huge wrench) and the whole school and social scene is certainly not representative of what other posters have experienced.
The OP also says her husband's work is there and so they can't move location, except back to the UK. Is this saying that he can't get another job in his field anywhere in Canada. Really? Would it be any easier for him to get a job back in the UK in this current dire economic climate?
I don't have any problem at all with someone deciding they have made a mistake to emigrate and deciding that they want to go home, but I don't think it is healthy to burden the son with being the motivation behind this change of heart. There is clearly much more behind this decision.
I wish the whole family the best of luck whatever they decide to do- certainly the North York Moors area is beautiful and living in a small village myself, I understand how lovely it can be living in a rural environment in the North.
Rushing the decision to return might just be a knee jerk reaction to leaving such a fine environment before they have had time to find what Canada really has to offer.
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Old Dec 9th 2010, 6:37 pm
  #40  
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Default Re: Serious about going back

Originally Posted by Almost Canadian View Post
I think the OP doesn`t want to admit the part the parents have played in the schooling issue in which their son finds himself.

If one wants to keep up with the Joneses, one is going to have to accept such stuff. As I said above, and as others have confirmed, "regular" kids have no such issues.
Actually OP, does realise the part we have played that's why we are getting the hell out of here.In UK we lived in a relatively affluent area but they let their kids be kids.There was no keeping up with the Jones(and prescribing to that disgusts me, hence why my son is not in Hockey club etc, and that was his choice his not his interest).

I am a Teacher and I have recently found out, first hand not from the internet about classroom practise over here and the UK are years ahead.They don't even assess in the classsroom for gods sake.

'Regular kid', what is that? Well over here it means that your life is very prescribed and controlled to make it easier for a parent to have as much time to themselves as possible.I want a relationship with my son and for him to be happy; NOT to be able to say to the Joneses 'my son does x y and z and ten time more than your son'. Ridiculous attitude, poor kids.BTW if you had read my posts the reason we are going back is I want to see the spark back in my sons eyes, not a walking zombie.
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Old Dec 9th 2010, 6:42 pm
  #41  
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Default Re: Serious about going back

Originally Posted by helcat12 View Post
Posters are focusing on the school issue, but I am not sure that this is at the heart of this matter.
People often use reasons related to their children as justification for their choices because everyone will naturally sympathise (the OP should know this as a teacher), but this just doesn't really ring true here. The homework issue could be resolved relatively easily - talk to the teacher or the school, even move schools if necessary (it's not like he's been there long, so it isn't a huge wrench) and the whole school and social scene is certainly not representative of what other posters have experienced.
The OP also says her husband's work is there and so they can't move location, except back to the UK. Is this saying that he can't get another job in his field anywhere in Canada. Really? Would it be any easier for him to get a job back in the UK in this current dire economic climate?
I don't have any problem at all with someone deciding they have made a mistake to emigrate and deciding that they want to go home, but I don't think it is healthy to burden the son with being the motivation behind this change of heart. There is clearly much more behind this decision.
I wish the whole family the best of luck whatever they decide to do- certainly the North York Moors area is beautiful and living in a small village myself, I understand how lovely it can be living in a rural environment in the North.
Rushing the decision to return might just be a knee jerk reaction to leaving such a fine environment before they have had time to find what Canada really has to offer.
As a Teacher I certainly understand and that's why we are going back.I understand childhood psychology etc.This country doesn't, the Principal even said that children don't get to be children.No its not just our son, although that killed it.I prefer people with a sense of humour, and a thousand other things.UK -The economy is what you make it, you want a job you get it through sheer hard work.
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Old Dec 9th 2010, 6:48 pm
  #42  
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Default Re: Serious about going back

Are you expecting your child to live a life of roaming the north yorkshire moors for a lot longer? As he grows up his interests will change and it seems that you are hankering after a life you see through rose coloured specs. What does your husband/son's father say about all this? Has he settled or is it that the relationship is the problem and not the country? What did you think you were achieving in moving to Canada in the first place and why have these goalposts moved so suddenly? Your attitude will obviously affect your son's demeanour and it seems that your anger is affecting those around you.
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Old Dec 9th 2010, 6:53 pm
  #43  
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Default Re: Serious about going back

Originally Posted by taichiiqueen View Post
As a Teacher I certainly understand and that's why we are going back.I understand childhood psychology etc.This country doesn't, the Principal even said that children don't get to be children.No its not just our son, although that killed it.I prefer people with a sense of humour, and a thousand other things.UK -The economy is what you make it, you want a job you get it through sheer hard work.
My experience of teachers is they know jack about anything esp the real world!!..and i thought the prime requisite of being a teacher was to have a sense of humour bypass.
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Old Dec 9th 2010, 7:00 pm
  #44  
 
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Default Re: Serious about going back

Originally Posted by taichiiqueen View Post

I am a Teacher and I have recently found out, first hand not from the internet about classroom practise over here and the UK are years ahead.They don't even assess in the classsroom for gods sake.
Sorry but I call bullshit on this one. The highlighted statement is absolute crap.

I do have some idea as to how schools work my wife worked in a school for many years and my son is a high school teacher.
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Old Dec 9th 2010, 7:06 pm
  #45  
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Default Re: Serious about going back

It's not actually the fact that UK is 'far' ahead...kids in Canada go to school two years later and stay on an extra 2 years in High School to finish at 18 not 16 (although that has now changed in the UK).

Yes my two kids were ahead when they came to Canada 7 years ago, but that wasn't a bad thing.

The only difference that I saw here from the UK was the social life for myself and my husband...but we do things differently here we made new friends and invite people over to our house and we go to theirs, we don't get to the pub often...but my pleasure has changed (I think for the better). Our main reason for coming here was for the kids not ourselves....we re-arranged our social life to fit in with our new enviroment.

If you can't re-adjust to your new home then you will never settle, as said previously 'good luck' in your decisions but make sure you think long and hard before.
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