View Poll Results: Would you be impressed?
Yes, thats ok with me
3
6.25%
No, I wouldnt be overjoyed
16
33.33%
When does she leave?
29
60.42%
Voters: 48. You may not vote on this poll
What would your reaction be???
Jan 9th 2012, 12:31 am
#31
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,493
Re: What would your reaction be???
Only been back once for a fortnight and stayed with friends. I chipped in with shopping and when we went out I either paid our share or paid for everyone. However the friends are loaded and refused to allow me to pay for everyone each time.
You need to politely sit her down and explain the household finances. Tell her you're really grateful she's put some money in but that it doesn't go far and how you're having to work all the hours god sends just to keep heads above water. Whilst she's obviously totally thick skinned and annoying as hell, she simply may not realise that $200 is sod all.
You need to politely sit her down and explain the household finances. Tell her you're really grateful she's put some money in but that it doesn't go far and how you're having to work all the hours god sends just to keep heads above water. Whilst she's obviously totally thick skinned and annoying as hell, she simply may not realise that $200 is sod all.
Jan 9th 2012, 12:33 am
#32
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: What would your reaction be???
This is how I would do it.
Just say if she planned to book another meal out I would say 'I am sorry but we cant afford it as money is tight at the moment, however I can cook a nice family meal at home'
If you cant afford the stuff she is wanting I would come right out with it and say it - politely. Eddie I know one thing, if we had a visitor do that to us in our current financial situation, we would lose our house very quickly.
Situations change all the time and say we had a visitor plan their trip and our finances change while they were there, I would have to tell them and not risk it further by keeping a polite quietness.
Even if HE wont say anything, you could say something in front of him.
And any future visits say 'Yes that would be lovely' but when they get here make it clear that meals out will need to be split the relevant ways as you are not in a position to do otherwise.
It isnt harsh, it is not stingy, it is realistically protecting you and your family and your home because if you were not in a position to pay for your mortgage, you would be in a cold and lonely place.
Some may say that if you cant afford visitors then dont have them, I prefer the compromise and say 'You are welcome but you have to chip in and muck in'.
We didnt take money off my Dad, he offered, but we had planned for him but each and every time we went out for a meal, he would insist on paying and when he left for England, we found a couple of hundred dollars hidden in his book in our bedroom
(told him off about that)
Just be straight with her Eddie, it doesnt make you a bad person because in my opinion, you are one of the nicest and kindest, most generous people I have ever met. It just makes you honest and noone could complain about that.
Just say if she planned to book another meal out I would say 'I am sorry but we cant afford it as money is tight at the moment, however I can cook a nice family meal at home'
If you cant afford the stuff she is wanting I would come right out with it and say it - politely. Eddie I know one thing, if we had a visitor do that to us in our current financial situation, we would lose our house very quickly.
Situations change all the time and say we had a visitor plan their trip and our finances change while they were there, I would have to tell them and not risk it further by keeping a polite quietness.
Even if HE wont say anything, you could say something in front of him.
And any future visits say 'Yes that would be lovely' but when they get here make it clear that meals out will need to be split the relevant ways as you are not in a position to do otherwise.
It isnt harsh, it is not stingy, it is realistically protecting you and your family and your home because if you were not in a position to pay for your mortgage, you would be in a cold and lonely place.
Some may say that if you cant afford visitors then dont have them, I prefer the compromise and say 'You are welcome but you have to chip in and muck in'.
We didnt take money off my Dad, he offered, but we had planned for him but each and every time we went out for a meal, he would insist on paying and when he left for England, we found a couple of hundred dollars hidden in his book in our bedroom
(told him off about that)Just be straight with her Eddie, it doesnt make you a bad person because in my opinion, you are one of the nicest and kindest, most generous people I have ever met. It just makes you honest and noone could complain about that.
Last edited by Cheetah7; Jan 9th 2012 at 12:39 am.
Jan 11th 2012, 3:25 am
#33
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 516
Re: What would your action be???
Hmmmm.... Tough love Wendy... Like I'm being tough...
Talk about manipulation... there is NO WAY we can afford to be spending $200 bucks just after christmas right before a weeks holiday on a meal out....
Why does she think I cook at home?????
She INSISTS, she books the table at the restaurant of her choice... Then she sits back whilst we pay....
Talk about manipulation... there is NO WAY we can afford to be spending $200 bucks just after christmas right before a weeks holiday on a meal out....
Why does she think I cook at home?????
She INSISTS, she books the table at the restaurant of her choice... Then she sits back whilst we pay....
Having read all the posts I am wondering if eitherr (a) Maybe she does know exactly what she is doing or (b) has no idea of your financial situation which would be amazing as she is living with you.
We had friends come over around 5 years ago and gave us $300 bucks for both of them for two weeks to include all food , trip and meals out
... to them it was like giving us 3oo pounds and they were shocked when we took them on a supermarket and they realised that the 300 bucks didn't go very far, back then it went a bit further than it does now but even so they had no idea how expensive it was to live here.It is awkward but you know what if your husband won't approach here then it then falls to you to do it, sit her down , explain the days of a free ride are over and take it from there.
I could be wrong, she could be totally unaware how much she is stressing you and the family budget out but I doubt it. Good luck.....
Jan 11th 2012, 3:26 am
#34
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 516
Re: What would your action be???
Having read all the posts I am wondering if eitherr (a) Maybe she does know exactly what she is doing or (b) has no idea of your financial situation which would be amazing as she is living with you.
We had friends come over around 5 years ago and gave us $300 bucks for both of them for two weeks to include all food , trip and meals out... to them it was like giving us 3oo pounds and they were shocked when we took them on a supermarket and they realised that the 300 bucks didn't go very far, back then it went a bit further than it does now but even so they had no idea how expensive it was to live here.
It is awkward but you know what if your husband won't approach here then it then falls to you to do it, sit her down , explain the days of a free ride are over and take it from there.
I could be wrong, she could be totally unaware how much she is stressing you and the family budget out but I doubt it. Good luck.....
We had friends come over around 5 years ago and gave us $300 bucks for both of them for two weeks to include all food , trip and meals out
... to them it was like giving us 3oo pounds and they were shocked when we took them on a supermarket and they realised that the 300 bucks didn't go very far, back then it went a bit further than it does now but even so they had no idea how expensive it was to live here.It is awkward but you know what if your husband won't approach here then it then falls to you to do it, sit her down , explain the days of a free ride are over and take it from there.
I could be wrong, she could be totally unaware how much she is stressing you and the family budget out but I doubt it. Good luck.....
Just read my post, apologies for all the spelling mistakes / errors, been off work with the kids over the school holidays and my brain has turned to mush!!!
Jan 11th 2012, 12:52 pm
#35
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Somewhere South... Not Telling YOU
Posts: 10,959
Jan 11th 2012, 7:09 pm
#36
Master of verbal pish©
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 22,198
Re: What would your reaction be???
now that our lot have left us we dont seem to go through money like we did.
im sure if i gave our children 100 bucks a week just to stay away i would be saving money
people staying with you can be a real burden, i dont think they know how much it costs you.
im sure if i gave our children 100 bucks a week just to stay away i would be saving money
people staying with you can be a real burden, i dont think they know how much it costs you.
Jan 11th 2012, 9:09 pm
#37
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Somewhere South... Not Telling YOU
Posts: 10,959
Re: What would your reaction be???
You are SO right bubbles.... Even giving kevin cash in hand is so much cheaper than having her here....
We have a "game plan"... If she does it again, we are going to recieve a mystery phone call (i'll call him on me mobile from the bedroom) and whatever comes up we'll apologise for having to bail at short notice and offer to drop them off at the restaurant and pick them up after..
We have a "game plan"... If she does it again, we are going to recieve a mystery phone call (i'll call him on me mobile from the bedroom) and whatever comes up we'll apologise for having to bail at short notice and offer to drop them off at the restaurant and pick them up after..
Jan 11th 2012, 9:13 pm
#38
Banned
Joined: Jan 2011
Location: The REAL Utopia.
Posts: 9,910
Re: What would your reaction be???
It was the total opposite for us, when the in laws were alive and visited us here we weren't allowed to pay for anything. We only had to look sideways at something in a shop and they would be wanting to buy it. Everyone is different and some people just don't realise what they are doing.
Jan 11th 2012, 9:16 pm
#39
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Somewhere South... Not Telling YOU
Posts: 10,959
Re: What would your reaction be???
It was the total opposite for us, when the in laws were alive and visited us here we weren't allowed to pay for anything. We only had to look sideways at something in a shop and they would be wanting to buy it. Everyone is different and some people just don't realise what they are doing.
