Buzzy--Bee

Q: Should I move to Australia?
A: No.

Q: Brisbane or Perth?
A: Perth

Q: Can I bring my car?
A: Yes.

Q: What's the weather like where you are now?
A: Scattered showers with sunny periods.

Q: Is there work for tradesmen?
A: Yes.

Q: Do tradesmen ever turn up for work?
A: No.

Q: Brisbane or Perth?
A: Brisbane.

Q: Can I buy a house by the sea?
A: No.

Q: How much is your electricity bill per quarter?
A: 900kw

Q: How much was your container?
A: 4 tonnes unladen.

Q: Can you recommend a doctor?
A: Yes.

Q: Should I leave the UK?
A: Probably.

moneypenny20

But should I move to Adelaide?

Paul2O

Why did you contradict yourself? You chose Perth, then Brisbane.

Pollyana

Will myTV work there? and do they have Crime?

iamthecreaturefromuranus

TV yes. Fridge no, 'cos it won't work in 'Australian conditions'

Turban Explorer

I want to live by the sea, with a pool, good schools and ballet classes, no spiders or flooding, work opportunities for qualified herbal reiki massage regression head therapist. Where should we go?

Pollyana

Is that cos its always hot? And a bloke on Its Paradise Downunder said everyone has to have two fridges cos they have to keep the beer separate from the food

iamthecreaturefromuranus

Indeed it is. Beer should never come into contact with food. It makes the food drunk.

ozzieeagle

Bognor

iamthecreaturefromuranus

Prestatyn

benny the ball

Q. I want to drive from one major city to another, will I be stoned by bewildered locals for traveling in the devils steel chariot?
A. Probably.

ukecadet

press what in?

Cheetah7

I hear that schools in Australia are 50 years behind than the UK, so what year will my child be in if he was in year 7 in the UK? - Well it depends, if he goes to a Perth school, he will need to regress back to an embryo and be reborn.

Will my fridge work in Australia? - yes but not in Tassie or Perth

Is 1 week enough to decide if I like it or not and if I dont like it, should I move back whilst I still have jetlag? - 1 week is far too long, you should know within seconds.

Do they sell tampons in Australia? - no, you have to roll your own or if you have large genitals, you can use sheep.

What side of the road do people drive on in Australia? - it depends on how drunk they are, it could be the middle.

What language to they speak in Australia? - in QLD it is rather slow, but if you go to Perth, they speak 'Perthanese'

What happens if I die in Australia, will I be buried upside down? - No, your body will be cut into steaks and you will be thrown on the Barbie for new migrants to enjoy.

Dreamy

That only happens if you're a vegetarian due to the risk of Mad Cow Disease.

AlliF

my cereal just about came out of my nose there!