Quick and dirty emigration cheat sheet as per British Expats.
 

Q: Should I move to Australia?
A: No.

Q: Brisbane or Perth?
A: Perth

Q: Can I bring my car?
A: Yes.

Q: What's the weather like where you are now?
A: Scattered showers with sunny periods.

Q: Is there work for tradesmen?
A: Yes.

Q: Do tradesmen ever turn up for work?
A: No.

Q: Brisbane or Perth?
A: Brisbane.

Q: Can I buy a house by the sea?
A: No.

Q: How much is your electricity bill per quarter?
A: 900kw

Q: How much was your container?
A: 4 tonnes unladen.

Q: Can you recommend a doctor?
A: Yes.

Q: Should I leave the UK?
A: Probably.

Re: Quick and dirty emigration cheat sheet as per British Expats.
 

But should I move to Adelaide?

Re: Quick and dirty emigration cheat sheet as per British Expats.
 

Why did you contradict yourself? You chose Perth, then Brisbane. :eek:

Re: Quick and dirty emigration cheat sheet as per British Expats.
 

Will myTV work there? and do they have Crime?

Re: Quick and dirty emigration cheat sheet as per British Expats.
 

TV yes. Fridge no, 'cos it won't work in 'Australian conditions'

Re: Quick and dirty emigration cheat sheet as per British Expats.
 

I want to live by the sea, with a pool, good schools and ballet classes, no spiders or flooding, work opportunities for qualified herbal reiki massage regression head therapist. Where should we go?

Re: Quick and dirty emigration cheat sheet as per British Expats.
 

Is that cos its always hot? And a bloke on Its Paradise Downunder said everyone has to have two fridges cos they have to keep the beer separate from the food :confused:

Re: Quick and dirty emigration cheat sheet as per British Expats.
 

Indeed it is. Beer should never come into contact with food. It makes the food drunk.

Re: Quick and dirty emigration cheat sheet as per British Expats.
 

Bognor :sneaky:

Re: Quick and dirty emigration cheat sheet as per British Expats.
 

Prestatyn

Re: Quick and dirty emigration cheat sheet as per British Expats.
 

Q. I want to drive from one major city to another, will I be stoned by bewildered locals for traveling in the devils steel chariot?
A. Probably.

Re: Quick and dirty emigration cheat sheet as per British Expats.
 

press what in?

Re: Quick and dirty emigration cheat sheet as per British Expats.
 

I hear that schools in Australia are 50 years behind than the UK, so what year will my child be in if he was in year 7 in the UK? - Well it depends, if he goes to a Perth school, he will need to regress back to an embryo and be reborn.

Will my fridge work in Australia? - yes but not in Tassie or Perth

Is 1 week enough to decide if I like it or not and if I dont like it, should I move back whilst I still have jetlag? - 1 week is far too long, you should know within seconds.

Do they sell tampons in Australia? - no, you have to roll your own or if you have large genitals, you can use sheep.

What side of the road do people drive on in Australia? - it depends on how drunk they are, it could be the middle.

What language to they speak in Australia? - in QLD it is rather slow, but if you go to Perth, they speak 'Perthanese'

What happens if I die in Australia, will I be buried upside down? - No, your body will be cut into steaks and you will be thrown on the Barbie for new migrants to enjoy.

Re: Quick and dirty emigration cheat sheet as per British Expats.
 

That only happens if you're a vegetarian due to the risk of Mad Cow Disease.

Re: Quick and dirty emigration cheat sheet as per British Expats.
 

:rofl: :eek: my cereal just about came out of my nose there!