Neighbours - Fencing drama
Sep 18th 2011, 11:45 pm
#46
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Neighbours - Fencing drama
We have our own house and a car but if our neighbour asked us to stump up a few grand to do our fence now, we could not do it and likewise for them.
Financial situations change - you may have the house and a car or whatever but you may also just be managing to maintain that and pay what you can and sometimes, just sometimes - being asked to pay for something such as a fence or a wall may not be a priority and selling the car may not be realistic.
Seriously, noone knows what is going on behind with this woman, noone - she could be struggling, and a few grand might seem like a million to her.
If it were me and there was a risk of the property losing value, I would have the wall/fence built myself - get it over and done with, stop the property from becoming worse, write her a polite letter saying you have paid for it and if and when she can afford it, could she pay half. And leave it at that.
Financial situations change - you may have the house and a car or whatever but you may also just be managing to maintain that and pay what you can and sometimes, just sometimes - being asked to pay for something such as a fence or a wall may not be a priority and selling the car may not be realistic.
Seriously, noone knows what is going on behind with this woman, noone - she could be struggling, and a few grand might seem like a million to her.
If it were me and there was a risk of the property losing value, I would have the wall/fence built myself - get it over and done with, stop the property from becoming worse, write her a polite letter saying you have paid for it and if and when she can afford it, could she pay half. And leave it at that.
Sep 18th 2011, 11:48 pm
#47
Account Open
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 4,298
Re: Neighbours - Fencing drama
re-read what you've just written there. Stop assuming that this is a woman who can't afford to feed her kids, when the details provided by dadagain show that this clearly is not the case. Dadagain clearly doesn't want to bankrupt her or cause her/ or her kids any harm.
Lets be honest -if dadagain had started this thread as a "single mum with kids" and the fence belonged to a lonely old man living on his own next door, the emotional responses by half of the posters on this thread would simply flip the other way.
Sep 19th 2011, 12:02 am
#48
...giving optimism a go?!
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Brisbane (leafy, hilly western suburbs)
Posts: 2,202
Re: Neighbours - Fencing drama
I'm glad you're in a position to make generous donations to your neighbours - but not everybody is.
Let me put it another way - if your next door neighbour asked you to pay $2k to repair THEIR roof because they're a little bit short of cash right now what would you say? (I'm guessing you'd laugh and politely decline)
If someone doesnt pay their electricity bill for a year and runs up $2000 of debt they get cut off... if you dont pay your mortgage for a year the bank takes your house, if you dont pay rates for a year then I'm sure the council chase up the debt, if you dont pay car rego for a few years you cant drive....
Given that large corporate and government creditors can be ruthless in chasing up their debtors, why should a smaller creditor such as a neighbour have to wear losses simply because of their nieghbours inability to manage their finances succesfully?
Sep 19th 2011, 12:33 am
#49
Auntie Fa
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Seattle
Posts: 7,344
Re: Neighbours - Fencing drama
I was angry last night that Tiddlypom felt the need to explain her circumstances as an example of why this neighbour MAY not be able to pay her share. I'd also had a bottle of bubbly so felt it best to switch off the computer. 
Now I've re-read it, I have to say I'm still rather peeved. In my first post on the thread I mentioned my sister. She lives in a 4-bed detached house. She runs a car. She's on disability, with 3 teenagers. What a shocker, eh?
Thing is, the house is falling down around them, and they can't afford to fix it up. The girls' father bought it, owns it, and has stated that he will take it back when the youngest turns 18. He doesn't care about what happens to my sister; he left when the youngest was a toddler (after knocking my sister about) and has paid not one penny in maintenance for the kids or the house. In the early years, the courts gave up on him because he went abroad to work (he's far from hard up himself). My sister hates being in this situation but she's not fit for work. She also hates taking money off me, although sometimes it's necessary.
The car, I bought, when I realised I was paying more and more bills for the one I bought her a few years back. My sister has a lot of psych issues, and she's agoraphobic. The car helps her give my nieces some kind of normal life.
The bills - well the gas and electric have to be pre-paid, one of those key things. The phone was cut off a couple of months ago, the cable TV and internet soon followed. Seems their father (who insisted they have all of those, sent them a plasma TV for Christmas a few years ago and has also sent a couple of PCs) has not been paying the bills. They're in his name, I can't sort them out this time like I have many times over the years. He's out of the country. We've managed to contact him by email and my sister now has incoming calls only; we had 8 weeks with no phone contact, she has severe problems and is also keeping an eye on my elderly Dad (who has prostate cancer and is too deaf to speak to me on the phone these days), can you imagine how that felt?
Have I laid it on thickly enough?
I haven't told you everything, but everything I've told you is true. My sister is often walking out of her shoes, there's no way she could afford to pay for a fence.
I'm not saying the neighbour is in this situation - how the hell would I know? And frankly I don't want to know, it's none of my business.
I'm just saying that I don't think some of you have any comprehension of a life like this (I do, we were dirt poor at times too), and sometimes things are not how they might seem.
Rant over, Seasider out.
Now I've re-read it, I have to say I'm still rather peeved. In my first post on the thread I mentioned my sister. She lives in a 4-bed detached house. She runs a car. She's on disability, with 3 teenagers. What a shocker, eh?
Thing is, the house is falling down around them, and they can't afford to fix it up. The girls' father bought it, owns it, and has stated that he will take it back when the youngest turns 18. He doesn't care about what happens to my sister; he left when the youngest was a toddler (after knocking my sister about) and has paid not one penny in maintenance for the kids or the house. In the early years, the courts gave up on him because he went abroad to work (he's far from hard up himself). My sister hates being in this situation but she's not fit for work. She also hates taking money off me, although sometimes it's necessary.
The car, I bought, when I realised I was paying more and more bills for the one I bought her a few years back. My sister has a lot of psych issues, and she's agoraphobic. The car helps her give my nieces some kind of normal life.
The bills - well the gas and electric have to be pre-paid, one of those key things. The phone was cut off a couple of months ago, the cable TV and internet soon followed. Seems their father (who insisted they have all of those, sent them a plasma TV for Christmas a few years ago and has also sent a couple of PCs) has not been paying the bills. They're in his name, I can't sort them out this time like I have many times over the years. He's out of the country. We've managed to contact him by email and my sister now has incoming calls only; we had 8 weeks with no phone contact, she has severe problems and is also keeping an eye on my elderly Dad (who has prostate cancer and is too deaf to speak to me on the phone these days), can you imagine how that felt?
Have I laid it on thickly enough?
I haven't told you everything, but everything I've told you is true. My sister is often walking out of her shoes, there's no way she could afford to pay for a fence.I'm not saying the neighbour is in this situation - how the hell would I know? And frankly I don't want to know, it's none of my business.
I'm just saying that I don't think some of you have any comprehension of a life like this (I do, we were dirt poor at times too), and sometimes things are not how they might seem.
Rant over, Seasider out.
Sep 19th 2011, 2:47 am
#50
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: Perth
Posts: 816
Re: Neighbours - Fencing drama
Anyone got $5 for a coffee
Sep 19th 2011, 4:01 am
#51
...giving optimism a go?!
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Brisbane (leafy, hilly western suburbs)
Posts: 2,202
Re: Neighbours - Fencing drama
Completely irrelevant - BUT:
In which case any maintainence expenses associated with the house are *his* reponsibility, not your sisters, and her lack of finances has nothing to do with any dispute of this kind. - too easy....
In which case any maintainence expenses associated with the house are *his* reponsibility, not your sisters, and her lack of finances has nothing to do with any dispute of this kind. - too easy....
Sep 19th 2011, 4:29 am
#52
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 15,526
Re: Neighbours - Fencing drama
I can understand the moral arguments for not making DA's Neighbour pay for the fence. However I dont buy the legal ones in anyway shape or form. Reason being supposing this lady had a car accident with someone in even more desperate straits than her and wasn't insured. AFAIK in a situation like that if she caused major damage and was uninsured she would be likely to lose her house.
Basically it is her responsibility to pay for her share of the fence, It's plainly obvious that she cant afford to, so the only out is provide the Labour. I'd be entering into Authorised receipt correspondence, where you get proof of receipt of her receiving the letter by a signature... in as pleasant and understanding manner as you possibly can saying you are willing to accept labour only as her part of the deal.
If that fails I would probably reluctantly go down the legal path with CC's of your correspondence as your proof of your willingness to negotiate .. Which would possibly result in her having to open up one of those payments to solictor options where you get a few hundred dollars every six months or so for 3 or 4 or even more years.. Not nice... but we all have a responsibility to be able to maintain our property. Sounds like she could benefit from freeing up some funds anyway if she doesn't like the payment option, a loan against the mortgage or a mortgage term extension springs to mind for starters.
I wonder what she would do if her roof developed major leaks or hot water service blew up.
I would ultimately expect some kind of effort from her in this situation. Labour option first though.:
So... Do the letters... Hire a solictor, make sure he/she says you will get your money... then build the fence and hand the bill to the Solicitor... Then forget and wait for the cheques. If she doesnt pay the Solicitor the bill will go up to an extent where she really will lose her house.
Basically it is her responsibility to pay for her share of the fence, It's plainly obvious that she cant afford to, so the only out is provide the Labour. I'd be entering into Authorised receipt correspondence, where you get proof of receipt of her receiving the letter by a signature... in as pleasant and understanding manner as you possibly can saying you are willing to accept labour only as her part of the deal.
If that fails I would probably reluctantly go down the legal path with CC's of your correspondence as your proof of your willingness to negotiate .. Which would possibly result in her having to open up one of those payments to solictor options where you get a few hundred dollars every six months or so for 3 or 4 or even more years.. Not nice... but we all have a responsibility to be able to maintain our property. Sounds like she could benefit from freeing up some funds anyway if she doesn't like the payment option, a loan against the mortgage or a mortgage term extension springs to mind for starters.
I wonder what she would do if her roof developed major leaks or hot water service blew up.
I would ultimately expect some kind of effort from her in this situation. Labour option first though.:
So... Do the letters... Hire a solictor, make sure he/she says you will get your money... then build the fence and hand the bill to the Solicitor... Then forget and wait for the cheques. If she doesnt pay the Solicitor the bill will go up to an extent where she really will lose her house.
Last edited by ozzieeagle; Sep 19th 2011 at 4:46 am.
Sep 19th 2011, 4:32 am
#53
Feeble Minded
Joined: Feb 2008
Location: Cairns, QLD
Posts: 1,612
Re: Neighbours - Fencing drama
Having read the thread start to finish, I think some of you are being way too hard on DadAgain, although I'm sure he's tough enough to take it on the chin.
As a homeowner there are disadvantages one of which is that you are responsible for the upkeep of your property and have responsibilities when something goes wrong which impacts on those around you.
Now I fully sympathise with single mums and people with no money. I was a single mum and I now have no money. When I say no money I mean it's a struggle to put food on the table, I haven't been out anywhere for years, not to the cinema, not to dinner. We can't afford treats, we just exist. I've had to turn down offers to meet for cuppas by members here because quite frankly some weeks I can't afford even a cup of tea at a cafe. BUT I always face my responsibilities, and if anything my family did impacted on someone else I would do my damnedest to put the situation right and if that involves having to sit down and tell them exactly how poor I am, then I'll do just that. Where responsibilites are concerned pride sometimes has to take a back seat, you can be honest about finances and still be dignified!
As far as I am concerned this woman should sit down with DadAgain and MumAgain (assuming there is one, no offence intended if there isn't) and talk through how to resolve the situation. No, you can't get blood out of stone but to quote another adage, "some people can't see the wood for the trees" perhaps sitting down and talking about it might clear her way to seeing that there is a way to settle this with no need for unpleasantness. Furthermore, she might need to remember that if she fails to take remedial action to ensure the integrity of her property then she could be in the shit with her mortgage company, if there is indeed a mortgage on the property.
Anyway, I have no useful information to add to the thread, my view is that a nice letter should be sent in a friendly reassuring way, suggesting meeting up somewhere for a cuppa and a chat to work out how to settle this. However, I just didn't think it fair that some were seeming to think that just because DadAgain is perhaps fortunate enough or careful enough with his finances to be able to raise the money, it shouldn't mean therefore, stiff shit, he can pay for it. He might have that money earmarked for something else that is important to him/his family.
Just wish you all the best DadAgain and good luck with getting this sorted out. I'm sure you will be a gentleman about the whole thing.
As a homeowner there are disadvantages one of which is that you are responsible for the upkeep of your property and have responsibilities when something goes wrong which impacts on those around you.
Now I fully sympathise with single mums and people with no money. I was a single mum and I now have no money. When I say no money I mean it's a struggle to put food on the table, I haven't been out anywhere for years, not to the cinema, not to dinner. We can't afford treats, we just exist. I've had to turn down offers to meet for cuppas by members here because quite frankly some weeks I can't afford even a cup of tea at a cafe. BUT I always face my responsibilities, and if anything my family did impacted on someone else I would do my damnedest to put the situation right and if that involves having to sit down and tell them exactly how poor I am, then I'll do just that. Where responsibilites are concerned pride sometimes has to take a back seat, you can be honest about finances and still be dignified!
As far as I am concerned this woman should sit down with DadAgain and MumAgain (assuming there is one, no offence intended if there isn't) and talk through how to resolve the situation. No, you can't get blood out of stone but to quote another adage, "some people can't see the wood for the trees" perhaps sitting down and talking about it might clear her way to seeing that there is a way to settle this with no need for unpleasantness. Furthermore, she might need to remember that if she fails to take remedial action to ensure the integrity of her property then she could be in the shit with her mortgage company, if there is indeed a mortgage on the property.
Anyway, I have no useful information to add to the thread, my view is that a nice letter should be sent in a friendly reassuring way, suggesting meeting up somewhere for a cuppa and a chat to work out how to settle this. However, I just didn't think it fair that some were seeming to think that just because DadAgain is perhaps fortunate enough or careful enough with his finances to be able to raise the money, it shouldn't mean therefore, stiff shit, he can pay for it. He might have that money earmarked for something else that is important to him/his family.
Just wish you all the best DadAgain and good luck with getting this sorted out. I'm sure you will be a gentleman about the whole thing.
Sep 19th 2011, 4:39 am
#54
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Joined: Jan 2010
Location: Perth
Posts: 816
Re: Neighbours - Fencing drama
Dads done nothing wrong here, he as been down every avenue as far as trying to get in touch with the vampire next door
Seriously if shes there why not have the decency to at least reply to over the fence (broken all be it) dialogue?
I f we ended up in a similar situation i would have long since lost my rag, and probably bit the bullet and made good the fence - how about coming across that corner on a 45 degree angle leaving that wreck as is, ok you loose the corner of your garden but shes left with what shes happy with at present (both winners).
Seriously if shes there why not have the decency to at least reply to over the fence (broken all be it) dialogue?I f we ended up in a similar situation i would have long since lost my rag, and probably bit the bullet and made good the fence - how about coming across that corner on a 45 degree angle leaving that wreck as is, ok you loose the corner of your garden but shes left with what shes happy with at present (both winners).
Sep 19th 2011, 8:11 am
#55
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Neighbours - Fencing drama
Lets be honest -if dadagain had started this thread as a "single mum with kids" and the fence belonged to a lonely old man living on his own next door, the emotional responses by half of the posters on this thread would simply flip the other way.
Sep 19th 2011, 8:16 am
#56
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Neighbours - Fencing drama
So... Do the letters... Hire a solictor, make sure he/she says you will get your money... then build the fence and hand the bill to the Solicitor... Then forget and wait for the cheques. If she doesnt pay the Solicitor the bill will go up to an extent where she really will lose her house.
After a solicitor's bill for all that.... it will cost him twice as much as getting a new fence put in and paying for it all by himself.If she's not working or has other financial issues, she'll be able to get Legal Aid for this dispute.
Sep 19th 2011, 8:31 am
#57
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 265
Re: Neighbours - Fencing drama
I feel for your neighbour.
If she's single and has no money, just because she's in a house doesn't mean she's wealthy. Also forcing her to sell her home because you want a fence would be awful. No magistrate would support that!
If you really want the fence done, then you'll have to do it yourself. Forcing a single low income mother to court to prove her finances would be embarrassing for you I suspect... and she can probably adequately prove it given what you say here.
Not everyone has ideal circumstances. I've been there... single mother, three kids...single parent benefit. Doesn't allow you to live in any sort of luxury and living from week to week ... Asking for $2k is like asking for the moon. Not going to happen.
If she's single and has no money, just because she's in a house doesn't mean she's wealthy. Also forcing her to sell her home because you want a fence would be awful. No magistrate would support that!
If you really want the fence done, then you'll have to do it yourself. Forcing a single low income mother to court to prove her finances would be embarrassing for you I suspect... and she can probably adequately prove it given what you say here.
Not everyone has ideal circumstances. I've been there... single mother, three kids...single parent benefit. Doesn't allow you to live in any sort of luxury and living from week to week ... Asking for $2k is like asking for the moon. Not going to happen.
As written by the previous poster, she needs to be served with a formal notice. She's 50% responsible for the fence, and just because she doesn't give a rats about living like a bogan - you shouldn't have to.
Baz
