smiling4

OK not gonna say chin up.....I agree with the fact that I think you should go and validate. This buys you time. It could be that she has felt second to everything, us women are strange creatures......I think she needs time to be on her own and I certainly think her visiting you on Fathers Day won't be doing you any favours....sorry if that sounds hard....if she was just to come and drop your daughter off that would be one thing, but anything else, I would approach with lots of caution. Just thinking of you Jazzy, you don't want to be pushed any further when your feelings are so obvious.
You need time to mend your wounds at the moment and to be apart to do this will be easier, than spending time together, especially on a day like Sunday....try to be positive not only for yourself but your kids too....remember they too are going through all this...one minute they are off to Oz, the next .......good luck hun....))))HUGS((((

jazzys

my son and daughter are both here with me at the moment but my daughter has told me that she will go and live with her mam when she gets a house.

I mus go and validate, I know that much. But do I go and just play it by ear as to how long I stop, I just don't know.

I can't get my head round the fact that my 11 yr old son can go to Oz in a few weeks time and not see his mam and sister again until the end of november.
I just can't believe he can grasp that concept.

I actually feel worse than if there had been a bereavement.

My brother died two years ago aged 44, he was dead within 3 weeks of being diagnosed with cancer. I know it is now impossible to see or speak to him.

I didn't see him every day for 25 years like I have the missus.

I feel like a jigsaw in a box, someones gave it a big shake and some of the critical pieces have been lost including the picture of what its supposed to look like.

Jazzys

smiling4

so you know you want to go and validate, that's positive thinking, good.....get an open ticket to allow you to take time...you may get there and spend a few weeks and not want to come back, only you can figure that out Jazzy.....if your son is coming to terms with it, then that is fine....kids are more resilient than we give them credit for....but just watch him, he is at a great age! My two where fantastic when my ex and I broke up, in fact they have never looked back.....but the eldest, who is nearly 11, still tries to play the i'm in charge role every now and again!!
Good Luck......be strong! Go give ur kids a huge )))HUG((( and tell them how much you love them.....they may respond in a strange way! without giving it the 'o dad!!' Ems x

mindblower

Sorry to hear about your bad news...awful.

Perhaps if you could just get her to see OZ for all it's glory she may change her mind ?

Dave

herrchook

Jazzy, do you think you could easily get another job here? Just trying to weigh up the situation and try to help. If you CAN get another job easily then it might be best to have a holiday with your little one and try to just chill a bit, then, get a new job here and see what pans out when everything's more settled and less raw. It might also show your wife that although Aus is important to you, she is too and you're not just giving up in favour of a new country.

My heart goes out to you Jazzy, so sincerely. Life can be so so hard sometimes and only time and/or your wife changing her mind that will heal the wounds.

We're all here for you mate.

jazzys

I've done nothing but hug my kids these last few days. I've explained the situation as i see it and i know, that they know, that i am not walking out on anyone and i will always love them from the bottom of my heart.

I do think i could get a job in brisbane far easier than i can here in the uk.

I am a toolmaker / fitter / machinist and they seem to be in short supply in oz.

I can't really say if my son is coming to terms with it. I have just tried to explain to him that wherever he is it won't be the same as it was for some time (if ever)

I just don't know if he could handle being without his mam even though he does lots more things with me. And to have him see his mam get on the plane and return to the UK after xmas would hurt him and therefore me, like hell.

Its a rocky road ahead, of that there is no doubt.

There are no easy routes, they are all fraught with difficulties. I just want to try my very hardest to pick the best route for all concerned.

Thanks

Jazzys

smiling4

Just take your time hun.....n when you want to spout....we are all here for you! Ems x

jazzys

does anyone know when the school holidays are in brisbane?

I'm just thinking if me n my son did come over would he start school straight after the winter holidays.

Jazzys

LauraC

Here's a link about Queensland schools:

http://www.qld.gov.au/services_for_q...g/schools.html

There's a link for school holidays.

Kapri

Hi Jazzy,
Sorry to hear your troubles.
FWIW I think you should concentrate on mending your marriage rather than emigrating otherwise your kids will be split up with parents on opposite sides of the world.
Find out what your wife wants and see if you can agree on what's best for you all.

jazzys

Well you know what they say "abscence makes the heart grow fonder"

Its up to me at the end of the day. And I appreciate every single post that is on this thread but obviously some think I should go and others think i shouldn't.

I thinki'l definately go and validate my visa and my sons and possibly my daughters. If the missus doesn't want to do hers then thats her business.

I've got to try and do whats right, I just don't know what that is yet.

many many thanks, you've helped me through this week.

Jazzys

joho

Kids are very adaptable. My brother's partner has 2 children with her ex, one lived with her one with him. Recently he moved to oz with the lad and things are fine, she was happy to give her son this opportunity and it is hard for them all but they have coped with it. Unfortunatley you have to deal with the break up still being fresh too. Go give it a go and see what happens as you say absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that. Even if you wife doesnt validate but you do, getting another visa for her if things work out down the line should be easier.

Jo

crocodileseamus

Jazzys,

Just wanting to wish you all the best for 2morro with the Mrs.

I hope from the bottom of my heart that things work out for you. Don't force too much information on your kids, you don't want them worrying themselves ragged only for you two to get back together again.

I have a feeling this is only a blip. Everyone has hard times and marriages are funny things, you love, you hate, you laugh, you cry, you know what Jazzy we are only human.

I'm raising a glass for you and your mrs at the moment,

Good luck mate,

Crocodileseamus

jazzys

Cheers croc, if it wasn't hard enough its bloody fathers day tomorrow.

And someone was coming to view our house today, I've painted, i've grouted tiles, I've cleaned the bath and toilet (first time ever ) painted, washed, dried, ironed, I've vacuumed and I've been to the tip and the B*+tards never turned up.

I'm having bad week

jazzys

crocodileseamus

Jazzy,

Sorry to hear your viewers didn't turn up, that's life eh?

I know tomorrow is father's day and for the sake of the kids just please smile, even though you feel like crying inside.

I feel for you at the moment, we've all had bad times, if things were good with the mrs and the viewer didn't show up, you'd still feel angry.

Please keep Oz on the back burner, and hope for a reconciliation with the mrs.

Cheers,

thinking of you tomorrow,

Crocodileseamus