Originally Posted by asher

ask her to go on holiday to Oz and validate the visa, no strings just keeping her options open and a holiday to take some of the pressure off and get an idea if she would like it or not

will also give you a chance to talk on neutral ground

but for goodness sake dont keep asking her how she likes it or saying how wonderful it is if you do go remember no pressure

Originally Posted by jazzys

She's supposed to be coming down tomorrow to have a chat. I can't see things going the way i would like them to but you never know.

Fingers crossed for me everyone!

jazzys

Originally Posted by jazzys

She's supposed to be coming down tomorrow to have a chat. I can't see things going the way i would like them to but you never know.

Fingers crossed for me everyone!

jazzys

Originally Posted by jazzys

I have been so so patient with her and where the hell has that got me eh!

I just want to help her and its an awful feeling of rejection i have right now.
and i don't like it one little bit.

jazzys

Originally Posted by asher

ask her to go on holiday to Oz and validate the visa, no strings just keeping her options open and a holiday to take some of the pressure off and get an idea if she would like it or not

will also give you a chance to talk on neutral ground

but for goodness sake dont keep asking her how she likes it or saying how wonderful it is if you do go remember no pressure

Originally Posted by jazzys

Hi,
I know this is not what some of you may want to read but it needs to be said.

For a long time now, I have wanted to take my wife and kids to a new life down under. We made the decision to apply and spent the money. The application, the medicals, new pasports eveything. Our house has been done up to sell and its now like a palace. The visa's are here and The kids were dead excited too.

I lost my job last week and I was about two weeks away from booking flights.

My wife has now walked out. She can't handle it any more. Too much pressure, she has made herself ill but when asked if she was OK she would always say "yes".

I'm gutted, hollow, empty and lost.

I have no job, no wife and no dream.

I hope this never happens to anyone else, please make sure you both want to go before you apply.

Thanks for listening.

Jazzys

Originally Posted by brissie-here-we-come

hiya,like someone else said ,you gotta try to see A ; if she still does love you and in this case it does appear to be that way after wot she said,if so then dont worry about that one.
then look at wot state your marriage has been in latley,she may just be taking the oz thing out on you ,just coz she knows how wrapped up in it you are in that case she may still like the idea herself,but just trying to get at you.

lastly listen to her,and dont jump in saying something if she gets your back up.(you can do that later ), or you'll only be back to square one,and dont bring up oz until she does and listen to wot she has to say about it,instead of presuming.it may not be as bad as you think ,but let her tell you how she feels dont tell her how she feels .

goodluck x
kels x

Originally Posted by Professional Princess

Jazzy, I dont think she necessarily has cold feet about Australia, anymore than she has had enough with you.

Speaking as someone who a few years ago, had totally had enough of the stress that was current in our life, I know what it is like to have so much going on that the only answer is to walk away from the situation to get some head space. This I must add, is not the answer but sometimes it is the only solution at the time.

It is very hard when you feel everything is piling up on you emotionally to the point you really cannot take, talk nor face it anymore. With various needs and demands your time - in whatever form they take, your head just shuts down and your 'fight or flight' response kicks in.

Migration is hard at any time - Jesus I am terrified as a few plans haven't quite come off and things are not going to be as easy as we had hoped.

The thought of intentionally making ourselves jobless, homeless and in a strange country, is enough to wobble the strongest person off their emotional tightrope.

So put children into that equation and those worries are doubled. It is bad enough and hard enough having just yourselves to worry about but with youngsters as well, you must both be so scared.

It is awful that you have lost your job so close to booking the tickets and whilst you have handled it in your own way and come across as well balanced in your thoughts, I have a feeling with regards to your wife who was already bottling up her fears, it has just tipped her into panic mode.

She probably can't see a way forward and is so aware of this, that she has had to remove herself from anything associated with your situation.

Its a horrible feeling when you want to run, and must be dreadful for you picking up the pieces.

But my guess is and I hope I am right, that when she has had time to calm down and take a breather, she will come back ready to talk and be with those that love her most - her family.

The urge to walk out in this situation usually comes when someone has reached saturation point.

And when she comes back, she could well be more receptive to the idea of really talking about how she is feeling and her fears.

Look after yourself mate and whilst you are caught up in the whole migration process, keep time for your own emotions and allow yourself to express them.