It seems to me that the OP's biggest problem is being taken to the cleaners. Marriage has nothing to do with material things, who gives a crap about money anyway, you can't take it with you? Marriage is about love and respect and companionship. I have been married for 10 years and can honestly say I thank God for it all the time. I simply can't imagine being without my wife and can't even imagine my life without her.

When I got married to her, we made a vow to each other to commit to each other in everything we do. Taking this vow is a serious thing to me (now I realise that to other people, this is taken a lot more lightly, perhaps they are the 50% that end up divorced, perhaps not) and I intend doing everything I can to stick to this vow. To me this is what a marriage is about - not a 'piece of paper'.

That said, even if for some reason my marriage had to come to an end in the future, I would still consider it a successful marriage, I am extremely happy and fulfilled and the last 10 years have been fantastic. I have no regrets and would do it the same way if I had to go back and start again.

On a lighter note, I found the advert at the bottom of 1 of the pages of this thread a good laugh:

No. Marriage (or a de facto relationship) is about a series of legal rules placed on you if you live together without your having any choice in the matter.

A loving relationship of two people living together should be a negotiation between them on the basis of what each brings to the relationship and what each wants out of the relationship. It is not the place of the government to dictate how people should live together.

I'm wondering now if I share a house with a mate am I in a de facto same sex marriage??

The whole thing is ridiculous.

The point I'm trying to make is that it is marriage that is the problem. Not the idea of living longterm with someone.

Yes. If the wife wants to stay at home then that is a decision she makes and should accept the consequences in the event of a divorce.

Ironically enough it's the marriages where the wife stays at home that have a far greater chance of success.

In a respectful relationship it's usually a decision both partners make.

Only if "the wife" is happy to be at home.

Dean, try walking straight up without your knuckles scraping.

It should be a joint decision to stay at home to bring up YOUR child/children shouldn't it? Stay at home mum does a rewarding /fullfilling job and a monetary figure can't be placed on it.Most mums have 2 jobs,one inside the home and one outside (paid work).How much do you think it would cost 24/7 365 days a year for a live in nanny and a housekeeper.(insurance companies actually can put a figure on it).

Posts keep going around in circles. Nothing new said. Thread closed.