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-   -   Marriage - is there any point? (https://britishexpats.com/forum/barbie-92/marriage-there-any-point-618047/)

Peepster Jul 2nd 2009 5:05 pm

Marriage - is there any point?
 
What do we think.....is there any point to being married nowadays or is it a bit outdated?

Deancm Jul 2nd 2009 5:10 pm

Re: Marriage - is there any point?
 

Originally Posted by Peepster (Post 7719007)
What do we think.....is there any point to being married nowadays or is it a bit outdated?

Totally outdated and not relevant to modern day society. A remnant of the past.

LouiseR Jul 2nd 2009 5:19 pm

Re: Marriage - is there any point?
 

Originally Posted by Peepster (Post 7719007)
What do we think.....is there any point to being married nowadays or is it a bit outdated?

I got married at the end of last year and it was amazing to stand there in front all of my friends and family and solidify my commitment to my now husband. That said I don't think there is the "pressure" to get married anymore. It's no longer frowned upon to have children out of wedlock or live together before marriage (in some societies)- we did both and didn't receive a comment from anyone.

I think marriage is a great institution for those that believe in it but I don't think it's as neccersary as it once was.

Peepster Jul 2nd 2009 5:20 pm

Re: Marriage - is there any point?
 
You could be right there Dean. I struggle to think of any married couples that I know that aren't now divorced. I wonder if it's complacency that is the downfall. Is marriage a license to let yourself go I wonder....

Deancm Jul 2nd 2009 5:26 pm

Re: Marriage - is there any point?
 

Originally Posted by Peepster (Post 7719029)
You could be right there Dean. I struggle to think of any married couples that I know that aren't now divorced. I wonder if it's complacency that is the downfall. Is marriage a license to let yourself go I wonder....

Marriage is a licence to stop living.

LouiseR Jul 2nd 2009 5:27 pm

Re: Marriage - is there any point?
 

Originally Posted by Deancm (Post 7719037)
Marriage is a licence to stop living.

Bitter divorce?

Deancm Jul 2nd 2009 5:37 pm

Re: Marriage - is there any point?
 

Originally Posted by Louiseh86 (Post 7719040)
Bitter divorce?

Nope.

More to the point. Would any sane male go to the casino and put their life savings on red/black or odds/evens because that's exactly what you do when you get married?

Lorna at Vicenza Jul 2nd 2009 5:44 pm

Re: Marriage - is there any point?
 

Originally Posted by Deancm (Post 7719010)
Totally outdated and not relevant to modern day society. A remnant of the past.

Still relevant in Italy if a woman wants some legal rights.

No such thing as "common law wife" or whatever here and this is supposed to be a modern society.

Deancm Jul 2nd 2009 5:47 pm

Re: Marriage - is there any point?
 

Originally Posted by Lorna at Vicenza (Post 7719075)
Still relevant in Italy if a woman wants some legal rights.

No such thing as "common law wife" or whatever here and this is supposed to be a modern society.

We are not in Italy, we are in Australia. Italy is still predominantly a Roman Catholic society and marriage plays heavily into those beliefs.

In Australia there is a de facto relationship which is a common law marriage. This has the same laws applied to it as marriage so may as well be married in Australia if in a de facto.

moneypenny20 Jul 2nd 2009 5:49 pm

Re: Marriage - is there any point?
 

Originally Posted by Deancm (Post 7719057)
Nope.

More to the point. Would any sane male go to the casino and put their life savings on red/black or odds/evens because that's exactly what you do when you get married?

Bitter and twisted :eek:

I never saw the point of marriage, it was not near the top of my list of things to do and the idea of prancing down a church aisle in a white frock was totally alien. However one day we were talking very generally about kids and one of us (we can't remember which) said 'well I guess if we want kids, we should get married'. A month later we were - no one knew or attended bar my sister and a mate who thought they were coming to witness our wills.

I'm not sure it's made any difference to us, and we're certainly not complacent or planning on getting divorced any time soon. It's a piece of paper and because it's (relatively) easier to split up if you're de facto (still a nightmare though), compared to getting divorced, I honestly think you make more of an effort with the relationship when married.

Not necessary in this day and age though, it's purely down to the individuals and their beliefs.

Lorna at Vicenza Jul 2nd 2009 5:53 pm

Re: Marriage - is there any point?
 

Originally Posted by Deancm (Post 7719082)
We are not in Italy, we are in Australia. Italy is still predominantly a Roman Catholic society and marriage plays heavily into those beliefs.

In Australia there is a de facto relationship which is a common law marriage. This has the same laws applied to it as marriage so may as well be married in Australia if in a de facto.

I know - but the opening post was kid of generic so I stepped in.

When and if de facto relationships become legally recognised in Italy then there will less marriages here too ....... but that probably won't happen for ages and ages as the Vatican thinks that this would benefit gay couples and they can't have that.

Deancm Jul 2nd 2009 5:55 pm

Re: Marriage - is there any point?
 

Originally Posted by moneypenny20 (Post 7719085)
I honestly think you make more of an effort with the relationship when married.

But are you supposed to put more of an effort into the relationship to make it work? If you need to do that then I would suggest that the relatonship is over already and putting the effort in is just postponing the inevitable.

I am of the belief that all relationships have their natural life span and are not meant to be 'until death do us part'.

Peepster Jul 2nd 2009 5:59 pm

Re: Marriage - is there any point?
 

Originally Posted by Deancm (Post 7719096)
But are you supposed to put more of an effort into the relationship to make it work?

Yes. Otherwise the whole world would be single.

Deancm Jul 2nd 2009 6:01 pm

Re: Marriage - is there any point?
 

Originally Posted by Peepster (Post 7719101)
Yes. Otherwise the whole world would be single.

Nature intended human beings to be single. Don't forget that marriage is a human construct.

moneypenny20 Jul 2nd 2009 6:01 pm

Re: Marriage - is there any point?
 

Originally Posted by Deancm (Post 7719096)
But are you supposed to put more of an effort into the relationship to make it work? If you need to do that then I would suggest that the relatonship is over already and putting the effort in is just postponing the inevitable.

I am of the belief that all relationships have their natural life span and are not meant to be 'until death do us part'.

Not at all. All relationships go through ups and downs and the downs can be as serious as you make them. Doesn't mean that the relationship has reached it's shelf life and to give up. You sort out the problems and you move on. Personally I feel that if you give up at the first hurdle you deserve all the shit that comes your way. Everything in life requires some effort, doesn't mean there's no point in continuing.

As for the till death do us part, I can't remember if we said that or not. Not every relationship will last that long, doesn't mean that some won't and good luck to them.


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