Syedney

You say that you don't have OZ friends but that maybe because of an issue with you??? Did you think about that?

Maybe you don't make enough of the efforts to make your mates friends?!.

I once heard a joke about this guy who was driving the wrong way up a motorway when he heard on his car radio a warning about a mad man driving in the opposite way. He quipped "Just the one mad man? There are millions of them!!"

On a separate note, I went for an interview with an OZ company in UK and one of the directors from OZ and myself got on so well during it that a) He recommended me to OZ office (I told him during the interview that we would love to go to OZ) and b) His girlfriend and us (my little girl, my OH and I) all went for a meal the week after I was hired, two weeks after the interview.

We are now friends.

Open your attitude, leave judging people in UK, and don't be over critical of other people's weaknesses and differences from you and you'll see that people will come to you.

Btw, no one is saying Ozzies are better than anyone.

Again, that's an assumption you made.

Stop judging and assuming. Live and let live.

Btw, our friends and us, sometime don't see each other for a while, but any time I need a help, they are knocking on our doors.

One of my mates is a plumber. I hadn't seen him for a long while. We had a leak at 3.00 am one morning and we called him as we didn't know what to do. He was with us within minutes. That's what friends do!

Anyway, if you are a positive person, with no preconceptions, then you'll attract good quality people.

kiwinow

Bear in mind too, that it is harder to make friends as you get older no matter where you live. We've moved a lot within the same country and I've found it is harder to make real friends other than the parents of your kid's friends. In this small NZ town I still feel out of place when the women at work are talking about friends they went to school with. If you move you don't have the same roots but at least you don't get rootbound.

hrubieszowianka

Well, I've felt exactly the same for the last 11 years since I came to live in UK. Only that sometimes the Poms are not very subtle while patronising me. I'll see how the Ozzies cope with the challenge,

busterboy

Expect little. You won't be disappointed

Kalenge

Well said Dorothy - that says it all.

There seems to be an expectation for Australians to go out of their way to integrate and accept newly arrived immigrants, but nothing in their life has actually changed, it's really up to the immigrants to forge the relationships.

I think there's also a proportion of immigrants who tend to stick to their own and frequent places which have more (recent) immigrants than local Australians. I'm not sure how they can expect to ever feel integrated.
If we act like British Expats we will always be seen as British Expats.

NKSK version 2

Were you pissed when you wrote this?!

Haven't got a clue what you're talking about but if it's along the lines of me not trying hard with Australians - then yes you're probably right.

Best friends which I've made around the world are people that I've never had to try hard with at all - we just 'clicked'. I'm way too old to try hard at friendships - it either works - or it doesn't. And if it does, don't really good friends tend to do everything they can for each other?

Syedney

lol, pissed? Moi?....maye just a little
You did understand my message so

I guess your comments are an extension of what another person said: the older you get, the harder it is to make friends...

I'll end this one by saying that we all agree here that the onus is on poms to try to integrate and enjoy the ozzie life...Not the other way round

daniellemc

I dont know if i can comment on this discussion really as i am yet to make the move but when i spent a year in Australia working i got on great with the Aussies aswell as everyone else i met, from NZ, UK, Jeruselum, everywhere. I am still in touch with many of these, jeez i married the one from Scotland and i class one in particular from Oz a real friend. I hope I manage this when we move over.

fific

What we experience is real culture shock both OH and I find australians in the workplace very aggressive and overbearing - you often can't finish a sentence. We also notice extremely nice behaviour to each other and then nasty bitching once back is turned - leaving you wondering what's being said about you. I find the women easier than the men and as others have said if you stand your ground you start to make inroads.

Also this is just our perception - from where we stand they are agressive - from where they stand we are soft and drippy. At some point there will be some common understanding - I hope!

Also where we are is very cosmopolitan with people from all overthe world - kiwis, south africans, poms, europeans, fujians etc.. which makes for a much broader community dont know how I would cope if it wasnt. Also find management practices very old fashioned and aggressive, my english style of management is seen by some as very polite and weak.

However I think we all came here for something different and we have to take the bits we dont like along with teh bits we love.

personally I am all for the kiwis who I have made great friends with!

Yam Yam

You are not imagining it and yes it will never go away. Aussies are aussies and as a resullt of relative geographic isolation they are short on the social skills Brits take for granted. How would you be if you lived your life in one country that was so far away from any other civilised land that it costs 3 months wages to get there. I personally have lived in many different countries and all the Aussies I ever knew were hard work. I thought it was just me until I got here!! What you must remember is that they all have established circles of mates, so why should they make the effort for you, thats the way I see it.

Now I know I have my faults, but I have made many good friends in the Americas and the Middle East all of varying nationalities, yet when I arrive at this out post I am treated as if I have the plague. Its hard to put your finger on it but I feel there is still a nasty under current lying beneath the friendly banter brits endure every day.

Just my opinion, and before I get the 'why are you here' thread or 'why dont you go home' we are going home as being away from friendly people is too much to take on top of all the other financial factors to deal with here.

pompeyblonde

I agree, I have travelled extensively on my own and made friends from all over the world, including Aussies, but those are the adventurous go getters.... not the ones stuck here who rarely leave their own back yards!

I also agree fully with the comment about backstabbing, I find Aussies do not tell you to your face, but will be bitching away, which I have found very hurtful. Then we Brits are thought of as "brash and loud" cos we speak our minds....cultural differences I guess.......... I have I'd say three good Aussie friends and yes I would call them at 3am in a crisis.... its not always easy though....esp here in Adelaide where most people have grown up here and consider a trip to Victor harbor adventurous..........

PS I have spent a fair bit of time in the US nd the attitude is so different people genuinely interested in you and no undercurrent......

heg3

I accept that I'll never sound like an Aussie - all I have to do is say "uh" and people know I'm from Pomland but I have never had any problems. If people have any doubts about me they normally (I like to think) ask me what I'm doing here or why I decided to come over. I'm always completely open in my reply.
I think what makes a close friendship is shared goals/experiences and a common view on life. It takes time to achieve this. I have a couple of close Ozzie friends even if I haven't known them as long as my old UK friends. If you seek out like-minded people it doesn't matter where they're from.

PC Pom

Been here nearly four years now. No problem integrating with the 'locals' - few Brits up my way so it's do or die. It's all down to attitude and expectation. Perhaps the Poms that feel lonely should expect less?

Sue, who runs the local Post Office, greets me by my first name. Same goes for a couple of the businesses in town and around, and my neighbours - all of them Aussies. I'm part of a Body Corporate and it's all Aussie, except me and the mrs. First name terms and a bottle of booze or two to wrap up the annual meeting. Share a good joke.

I've had first time conversations with people who comment on my accent - or lack of it if you're a Brit. It sounds really posh to the Aussies. The guys that sorted out some concreting for me took the piss one day. Could have been offended. Wasn't. Did my bravest Aussie slang accent back at them and they nearly peed themselves laughing. I've got the best 70 metre driveway in the district!

Attitude and expectations.

JenJen

Aww this has cheered me up a little.

I have a couple of Aussie friends, some of the most down to earth people i've ever met, I have American friends too and friends from Africa.

I was told by our friends when you move here expect to have the pee taken out of your accent and the fact that England often suck at sport (I don't really watch sport so i'm taking their word for it), there are so many poms move to Oz every year that we have had some say to us well done for making the move over but they don't want to encourage us to stay cause there's too many of us b****ards here already lol.
Doesn't bother me in the slightest. People in the UK can be very rude to you for seemingly no reason. Everyone's different, we've had people in shops in the last week say oh wow are you from England are you on holiday and are really nice when we say we've moved here, but also had people who aren't bothered at all. They are all good to the kids and they've not been treated adversly for being poms so far so thats all that matters, if they were treated badly in a non jokey way that would upset me, but jokes and passing comments won't break my bones but it's the homesickness that will kill me lol

Jen

scottie

Interesting reading guys. Have friends who have moved over all ready and they say much the same things. However, we are Scottish, so are defo crap at sport and will love adopting aussie rugby team (just wish they were a bit better looking). Resigned 2 fact gonna spend months falling off a surf board b4 can even lie on it 2 paddle out and sure everyone gonna think we have a funny (defo not posh accent). Gonna give it a big go anyway and hope for the best. Lucky 2 in a way cos loads of uk paramedics going out at same time so we all be in the same boat which will hopefully make things a little easier.