Not welcome / Not belonging feeling
 

I have been in australia for a couple of years and constantly get the feeling I am out of place, that I do not belong or are not welcome, does this feeling ever pass?

I find that some australians are fine and act nice and perfectly normal but some act as if they have a problem with, like a chip on thier shoulder when they hear my english accent.
I have known australians for some time and yet things can be perfectly fine then one day they will making passing comments that feel like a slap in the face, comments that make you realise they view you as a visitor, that you dont belong in their country.
If its not nasty comments it could be done in the form of jokes at social events, or even simply saying 'oh you wouldnt understand not being from australia' comment and refusal to explain a term or name thats come up that I dont know and have enquired about

Its hard to explain but it all adds up to a feeling of not being welcome or not being wanted in this country, like they view us as tourists who have outstayed their welcome.

Does anyone else get this feeling?
Have you known someone for awhile and had them make sneaky comments that have made you rethink how they really view you?

Re: Not welcome / Not belonging feeling
 

Youve summed up my inlaws/rellos, I dont get them and they certainly dont get me. They have no humour whatsoever, they think I am from another planet:D

But plenty of aussie mates, and aussie partner of course but the ' whoosh that went over their head ' moments are still there occasionally.

Think you can find aussies who you fit in with but sadly it seems much easier for so many poms to mix exclusively with other poms :confused:

One of our best source of friends has been people in OZ from overseas, made some great friends along the way from from singapore, canada, PNG, germany etc, only problem with that is they always leave and go back:( been really sad at times especially for the kids.

Re: Not welcome / Not belonging feeling
 

Think you can find aussies who you fit in with but sadly it seems much easier for so many poms to mix exclusively with other poms :confused:




Sadly very true, I have lots of aussie mates, but not friends.

A quick example of how the 2 cultures differ. 12 of us go away each year on a 3 day golf trip, 6 aussies 6 poms Whilst we are all good mates the 6 aussies will disappear into the pokies and TAB for the night, 6 poms stay in the bar.

You just have to accept that we are a little bit different from each other.
John

Re: Not welcome / Not belonging feeling
 

I've been in OZ (and travelled around a bit in it since arriving in mid 90s) and you have hit the nail on the head! You may at best become acquaintances but don't hope for anything more. Even Australians seem only to have mainly acquaintances yet will classify them as friends.

Friends in my book have an interest in you and your relationship with each other and may catch up socially weekly. fortnightly or monthly; not every 2, 3 or 6 months.

Friends also share on deeper more intimate levels of themselves and provide you the opportunity to reciprocate and don't consider displays of emotion or kindness some weakness or plague like leprosy, to avoid!

Try NZ...they're a far friendlier bunch :D:thumbsup:

Re: Not welcome / Not belonging feeling
 

I am deeling a lot luckier these days since meeting a few mischievious, black humoured, heavy on the irony and sarcasm Australians. They aren't that many of them about unfortunately.

Re: Not welcome / Not belonging feeling
 

In your opinion maybe, but they're not all like that, speaking from personal experience.:)

Re: Not welcome / Not belonging feeling
 

NZ = the dark side :sneaky:

Re: Not welcome / Not belonging feeling
 

So I guess the little comments and the feeling of not belonging will never go away....makes you think

Re: Not welcome / Not belonging feeling
 

I dont know what you people expect. Im Australian with a Scottish mother and I dont exactly have a giant circle of friends.

As for Aussies, where are they? Where I live Australian born people are approx 20% of the population.

God, I wouldnt even fit in other parts of the country, I couldnt mix in with Bogan Queensland or pompous Melbourne or sleepy Adelaide.

Face it, most people dont like most other people. You are only compatible with a very tiny minority of people on this planet.

Re: Not welcome / Not belonging feeling
 

What's the problem here??

Are we already whingeing again?? No wonder the Ozzies (or m-ozzies!) call us WPs!

Cheer up guys and gals and please lighten up!!!

You can't meet everyone that will endear to you or vice versa!!!

If the oz get along better is only NATURAL: they understand fully their culture whereas you don't. You may get some of the culture but not everything!!

Watch your kids though!!! They'll blend in better than you!!

For a start, they won't be whingeing but will take things in their stride!!

Man, tell me something: have you not noticed in UK how many emigrants you REALLY got on with?? in every level???

Not many, huh?

Just cheer up. Know that there will be some differences between us and them.

Respect it and be proud of it.

Don't let something so....Ruin your life!

Re: Not welcome / Not belonging feeling
 

Hey Syedney people are entitled to a whinge on here occasionally we all try and be as positive as we can but occasionally a whinge gets it all off your chest so you can go on happier for having shared the load!

making friends is hard in a foreign country. but I don't think people are letting it ruin their lives I know you are trying to cheer them up but it sounds like you are telling them off.

I have a Ukrainian friend who is my best friend in every way I truly miss her when she goes home to visit her family so it does happen, however sometimes we have to laugh when the culture gap yawns and we can't understand each other.

Re: Not welcome / Not belonging feeling
 

![/QUOTE] If the oz get along better is only NATURAL: they understand fully their culture whereas you don't. You may get some of the culture but not everything!!

Culture??
Sorry have I missed something

Re: Not welcome / Not belonging feeling
 

You make some good points as people feel they need to belong, yet really what they mean [even if they ndon't know it] is that they expect the host country / culture to fit with them instead of the other way round. When we move to Aus we need to understand and embrace the Aussie way, not the other way round.

Aus and UK culture is different and there are some people you'll get on with and some you will not. I think it takes some getting used to the difference in culture and for me it was learning to argue back. Coming from UK we're a bit more reserved and try not to come across as argumentative, alternatively the Aussies at first seemed argumentative and arsey and know it all. I've started to give as much as I get and found they take it on the chin or answer the toss back which is fair enough. I've learned to do the same and it's worked.

Learn what makes Aussies tick and adopt the Aussie way. Stop trying to influence the Aussies to do it "your" way. Once you know the end game, you learn to work around it.

Re: Not welcome / Not belonging feeling
 

Same here - we have no Australian friends - all are foreigners like us!!

Re: Not welcome / Not belonging feeling
 

Mate, this is nothing about you scrub my back and me yours (in terms of patting each) but you truly understood my message!! :thumbup:


Exactly what I meant: Adopt to the country and people!!

If you want the country to adopt to you, INVADE IT!!!:thumbdown:

Anyway, someone mocking the OZ culture here...Rightly so!:rofl: