Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Aug 26th 2004 | 11:42 pm
#241
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 721
From: Back in Aus
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Originally Posted by jayr
Practice for those long, balmy QLD summer nights by wearing a blindfold at 7pm to simulate darkness, put on jeans and a long top and cover yourself in Aeroguard, light a citronella candle and enjoy.
[actaully mossies don't bother me so none of this applies to me pesonally]
Prepare for your first Australian Christmas by cooking a full UK version Christmas dinner in the height of the UK summer (and pretend its 12C warmer still)
Prepare you beer carrying arm by learning how to open you car door whilst balancing a case of 24 beers on your shoulder before you come.
Get ready for going to work in the QLD summer by having a wet shirt ready to change into as soon as you leave your front door.
Prepare for the friendliness of Aussies by talking to random people at bus stops, in the street, in the shops, preferably whilst with no footwear. See how these UK strangers smile (and move away from you hurriedly).
Demonstrate your Britishness on arrival by being the only one not wearing a hat and not sheltering from the sun.
Prove you've really settled by having a tan line that stops at sock height with amsuing 'white skin socks' below. Even better, your tan line should also end at your knees.
[actaully mossies don't bother me so none of this applies to me pesonally]
Prepare for your first Australian Christmas by cooking a full UK version Christmas dinner in the height of the UK summer (and pretend its 12C warmer still)
Prepare you beer carrying arm by learning how to open you car door whilst balancing a case of 24 beers on your shoulder before you come.
Get ready for going to work in the QLD summer by having a wet shirt ready to change into as soon as you leave your front door.
Prepare for the friendliness of Aussies by talking to random people at bus stops, in the street, in the shops, preferably whilst with no footwear. See how these UK strangers smile (and move away from you hurriedly).
Demonstrate your Britishness on arrival by being the only one not wearing a hat and not sheltering from the sun.
Prove you've really settled by having a tan line that stops at sock height with amsuing 'white skin socks' below. Even better, your tan line should also end at your knees.
You forgot one: prepare for Qld summers by steadfastly refusing to put your clock forward in March, claiming that if you do, it will fade your curtains
Aug 26th 2004 | 11:52 pm
#242
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 94,307
From: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
it will fade your curtains
Originally Posted by carolinegorka
Return of the animal theme.....
Get used to snakes by cutting the legs off a dachund.
Get used to BBQing sausages by cutting the legs off a dachund.
Dip sparrows into pots of yellow and green paint.
Put clothes pegs either end of a hamster and you've got yourself a baby platypus
Get used to snakes by cutting the legs off a dachund.
Get used to BBQing sausages by cutting the legs off a dachund.
Dip sparrows into pots of yellow and green paint.
Put clothes pegs either end of a hamster and you've got yourself a baby platypus
Aug 27th 2004 | 12:04 am
#243
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,277
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Originally Posted by Badge
If you are lucky enough to have a small front room, as well as a "living room" in your "3 bed semi", put all your best furniture in and call it the ''formal'' lounge room.
On NO account ever actually use, or be seen to use it.
Smash all the walls downstairs to create a large room. Practise having a "family room and kitchen".
(You'll get the living room, rumpus room when you arrive in Australia). For the time being, it will be outside in the space allocated to your road or back garden.
On NO account ever actually use, or be seen to use it.
Smash all the walls downstairs to create a large room. Practise having a "family room and kitchen".
(You'll get the living room, rumpus room when you arrive in Australia). For the time being, it will be outside in the space allocated to your road or back garden.
Aug 27th 2004 | 12:08 am
#244
part-time Visa Angel!
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 4,458
From: half marathon runner!
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Originally Posted by kirsty&al
Fill half the space in the "formal" lounge with a telly/entertainment system. Always have it on (tuned to sports) but never go in there.
You must have seen our 'formal' lounge
Aug 27th 2004 | 12:10 am
#245
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Originally Posted by Trevglas
You forgot one: prepare for Qld summers by steadfastly refusing to put your clock forward in March, claiming that if you do, it will fade your curtains
Aug 27th 2004 | 12:13 am
#246
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
of course! When poised about to cross the Pedestrian crossing, wait until everyone else is halfway. (this is to ensure the light goes red for you when you are halfway - just as it does in Australia).
For maximum authenticity, on the green man, exclaim "waaaa-whoop!" and start making a fast series of clucking noises...
BM
For maximum authenticity, on the green man, exclaim "waaaa-whoop!" and start making a fast series of clucking noises...
BM
Aug 27th 2004 | 12:30 am
#247
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,277
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
If you meet anyone from the Salvation Army, start calling them the Salvos.
Start calling anyone you meet with an Ambulance, the Ambos.
Start calling anyone you meet with an Ambulance, the Ambos.
Aug 27th 2004 | 12:37 am
#248
part-time Visa Angel!
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 4,458
From: half marathon runner!
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Originally Posted by kirsty&al
If you meet anyone from the Salvation Army, start calling them the Salvos.
Start calling anyone you meet with an Ambulance, the Ambos.
Start calling anyone you meet with an Ambulance, the Ambos.
Basically abbreviate all male names as such. ie. Johno, Bretty, Scotty etc
Aug 27th 2004 | 12:55 am
#249
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,277
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Prepare for driving in NSW by taking a trip to France.
Also for NSW: randomly forget who has right of way on roundabout just as you get there.
For drinving in Victoria: get all of you mates to drive at exactly the same speed down the motorway, using all the lanes. If you feel yourself going faster than the person next to you, slow down until you match speed again.
Also for NSW: randomly forget who has right of way on roundabout just as you get there.
For drinving in Victoria: get all of you mates to drive at exactly the same speed down the motorway, using all the lanes. If you feel yourself going faster than the person next to you, slow down until you match speed again.
Aug 27th 2004 | 1:02 am
#250
Bitter and twisted
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 17,503
From: Upmarket
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Originally Posted by kirsty&al
Prepare for driving in NSW by taking a trip to France.
Also for NSW: randomly forget who has right of way on roundabout just as you get there.
For drinving in Victoria: get all of you mates to drive at exactly the same speed down the motorway, using all the lanes. If you feel yourself going faster than the person next to you, slow down until you match speed again.
Also for NSW: randomly forget who has right of way on roundabout just as you get there.
For drinving in Victoria: get all of you mates to drive at exactly the same speed down the motorway, using all the lanes. If you feel yourself going faster than the person next to you, slow down until you match speed again.
You will also feel more at home if you smash one of your headlamps with a hammer. Preferably the right hand side one.
G
Aug 27th 2004 | 1:43 am
#251
Proudly Deplorable
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 24,249
From: Alloha snack bar
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
All those moving to Redcliffe, Deception Bay, Caboolture area. Sell your house & rent a place in the crappest part of the town where you live to get a feel of what it's like to live there.
Aug 27th 2004 | 2:35 am
#252
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 94,307
From: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Originally Posted by kirsty&al
If you meet anyone from the Salvation Army, start calling them the Salvos.
Start calling anyone you meet with an Ambulance, the Ambos.
Start calling anyone you meet with an Ambulance, the Ambos.
When friends invite you for a drink after work, look horrified and say "but its a week-night", settle for a Friday night, but leave the pub at 7.30 muttering about how late it is.
Aug 27th 2004 | 10:54 am
#253
Brain Drained
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,882
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
When buying a house in the UK always offer at least 10000 more than the asking price to get you ready for the Aussie stamp duty.
Only get your books from jumble sales to get you ready for the vast choice in Aussie bookshops.
Put a bit of sand paper up your arse and walk around with it al day. If your coming to Aus for those beaches this wil stand you in good stead.
Only get your books from jumble sales to get you ready for the vast choice in Aussie bookshops.
Put a bit of sand paper up your arse and walk around with it al day. If your coming to Aus for those beaches this wil stand you in good stead.
Aug 27th 2004 | 10:58 am
#254
Brain Drained
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,882
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Moving to Tasmania? Start having intimate relationships with a blood relative.
Aug 27th 2004 | 11:11 am
#255
Account Closed
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 29,154
Re: Let's have a ''Top Tips'' thread..
Practice being tied down - by a kangeroo....sport
