soapy©

Take a piece of kitchen roll lie on your bed and place the piece over u. help u get used to the Quilts here.

Buy a box of soap powder and place in your pocket. So it looks like ciggies.

Get out of bed, if it’s a great day phone your boss tell him your ill. Then meet him after work for a beer.

On a Friday night take your BBQ to the local beach, leave it there. Drive home, go to bed. Then get up the next morning and get all the kids into the car drive to the same beach. Put 10 bob in your own BBQ. Remember to clean it afterwards.

Get some of your friends to say “ oh my gawd� every time u tell them something they haven’t heard before.

Tell your workmates to sit on their arses all day and if they have to work, do it as slow as they can.

Oh when having a shit. Don’t bother to wipe your arse, just stick your finger up it. This will prepare u for the loo roll here.

soapy

soapy©

Watch old episodes of the wacky races to prepare u for the driving (sydney)


soapy

Pollyana

But don't forget to dip your finger in some kind of perfumed cleaning fluid or disinfectant first to simulate the yucky smell of the loo roll......

soapy©

oh so thats the loo roll that smells like that !!!!!!!
I thought it was my shit !

cresta57

Don't conduct research into comparing Aussie beer with it's far better English counterparts. English ales are a lot stronger than Aussie stuff and come in bigger bottles [than I'm used to now].
Afraid to say last nights experiment when to the dogs after 3 pints of beer!!!
3 pint wonder me?

Pollyana

Thats only cos you're not used to the stuff after a few months on Aussie water! At least itmeans you drink less at a time and thus you're supplies last longer before you need a return trip to The Beer Supermarket!

Grayling

3 pints!!!!!

Please tell me that's not true.

What HAS that Aussie beer done to your system??? :scared:

G

Trevglas

Go to the pub, and after 8-10 pints, wait for a Fosters ad to come on the telly, then say "Bloody hell, all these aussies are p*ssheads!"

By the sound of it, this may not work too well for Cresta

cresta57

To be fair I had driven back from Brissy [3hrs] Stopped at the pub at Maleny for a sandwich and a couple of beers. Then had a very large traditional British sunday dinner, roast beef, yorkshire puding and all the veggies and mash, we always have to have mash please tell me it's not just my old fashioned mother who insists on veg & mash with everything.
I then sat quietly reading and attempting to digest the meal after a pint of Old Speckled Hen a pint of Double Diamond and half a pint of Adnams Broadside I found my eyelids drooping. After finishing the delicious Broadside to my shame I awoke at 10pm fully clothed book in hand
I blame the cooking shushhhhhhhhhhhhhh don't tell my mum :scared:

Pollyana

It was obviously the stress of driving all that way, plus the large lunch......!! Nice place Maleny, by the way, isn't it. I must get The Bloke to take me there for lunch one day.
And a good selection of beers to finish off with....did you work out which youd missed the most?!

cresta57

No I need to continue the research
I'll tell you one thing though, as I cracked the top on the Old Speckled Hen I could taste the hops before I'd even poured it Mmmmmm........ It was like Christmas morning as a child. Oh things are improving here all the time.

Pollyana

Oh me too! I sat there with my nose stuck to the top of the bottle just inhaling the hops! The Bloke thought I was mad,but just like you said - it felt like Christmas!

CasG

My favourite is Tanglefoot - now there also is a beer that smells lovely - and, I believe does you a LOT of good - well good for your soul, if not your liver
Anybody in Melbourne know a shop that sells it?? If not then I might have to go elsewhere.....

Pollyana

Have to get it shipped down from Brissie!!

CasG

Sod it - looks like I'll be Brisbane bound now !!