bourbon-biscuit

Um, I already replied: acknowledgement and compassion for a start and for a lot of people they may need some psychological input from professionals, you know - folk who actually KNOW ABOUT THIS. A lot of people need help to cope with trauma. Bully for you if you're not one of them.

And as for JustCol and his assertion that what got him out of depression was a stern talking to, honestly JustCol, what you are signalling to anyone who knows is that you did not have clinical depression but you were wallowing. Tough talk is good for wallowing sometimes. It has been shown again and again to not be an effective approach for people suffering depression, anxiety and PTSD. Also, if you ask people they might not tell you how they are really feeling. Oddly enough, this is exactly what the research tells us and what we find in clinical practice. For sure, plenty of folk will be "getting on with it" without any significant concerns but some people don't like to admit to someone who asks (as discussed above) and others haven't developed requisite insight into their reactions. But for sure, you know best.

Maybe JustCol and Kotare could get together with all their expertise and mock up some post-quake coping advice leaflets for folk

ETA: and that's my last contribution to this aspect of the discussion because when we get to the point where folk with no expertise in the area insist they know better than those that do then we have entered the world of post-truth where lay opinion and experience trumps (!) knowledge. Over and out.

AceofSpades

Unfortunately I can attest to tough talk not being an effective approach. Not long after we left New Zealand a family friend (British man married to a New Zealander who'd lived in Auckland for many years) couldn't handle the toughen up approach anymore so he attached a hose to the exhaust of his car one night.

The news of his passing was painful for us, more so because we were so far away and unable to help. But when we learned through that his teenage son that his mother's strategy for helping him to cope was to tell him to "sniff some concrete and harden up" our sorrow turned to concern that he too will one day repeat his father's actions. He has plans to move over here now that he's an adult, maybe the move will be good for him......who knows.

Aaaaanyway.

I just popped in to see if the some of the regulars were ok after the quakes. I'll say ta ta, God bless, and will love you and leave you good folks.

Justcol

It seems modern medicine and switched on mental health profesionals have colluded to produce
a new breed of people who like to sit in dark corners and rock back and forth, while waiting for them to come and make everything alright
Seems to be another growth industry, well done, there'll be jobs for everyone for years to come

garethwm

In my life there is little evidence of a harden up attitude. Maybe im lucky to have good, caring friends, but I dont think so. Its more the norm if you ask me. Perhaps batting for the other team helps :-/ There was also very little Harden Up in Kaikoura from what I saw. Seemed like a great community spirit.

Pom_Chch

Well lets face it, we all know we can't stop or control earthquakes. But, we can control how we deal with mental health issues that arise after a natural disaster. If us lot on here are all making sh1t up and everyone is OK and munching on concrete pills then why are we needing initiatives like "All Right?"

https://allright.org.nz/

Oh I don't know, perhaps because we are starting to recognize that people need a bit of help after a quake. Nerves are rattled, anxiety/stress is high, fight or flight is heightened and we're all just a bit knackered from constant aftershocks during the night. But nope, it's OK everyone Kotare and JustCol have got some concrete pills for everyone... problem solved! That's if we need them in the first place seeing as we're all just fine and dandy! Just a couple of small shakes is all. Only killed a sleeping tot in their crib, crushed a bunch of people in various buildings and smashed peoples' homes and businesses beyond repair. S'all good!

BTW JustCol - being a little bit down is not clinical depression. Feeling sad or bogged down in life is different to a genuine chemical imbalance causing people to act and feel in a very different and not themselves.

This is precisely the attitude that needs changing, so you two are basically proving our point the more you post.

Bo-Jangles

I see the typical mean spirited 'harden up' mentality is out in full force. Numbers of lives lost is just the tip of the iceberg and does in no way provide any context to the many thousands of people who are facing a living bloody nightmare for the foreseeable and who knows how far beyond. Possibly displaced from their own home, living with extreme stress and uncertainty or still in severely broken properties with ongoing and severe aftershocks, many having no flushing toilets and living in very poor conditions, dealing with EQC and insurance companies, having themselves or other family members out of work, no office to go to and businesses in jeopardy with no idea how long for and no future means of earning income.

Many still in Christchurch have not resolved these issues and still fighting through insurance claims some six years on. That's what the people of Kaikoura and surrounds have to look forward to.

If you can't find one iota of empathy within yourself for the affected people you're a disgrace and should be utterly ashamed of yourself.

Charismatic

My view is that resilience and fortitude have their place in a society with a strong tendency towards a reactionary frenzy. That doesn't mean staying bottled up but sometimes you have to bury the bodies now and grieve later, that's just exhibiting an adult level of emotional intelligence. In a crisis we need cool heads as well as warm hearts.

After a close call nor is it the worst thing in the world to contemplate the very definitely finite nature of human existence and such. Often our own repressed fear and anxiety will boil over or manifest themselves in a time of difficulty, just when those emotions are least helpful but very definitely need the thoughtful reflection and quiet contemplation unavailable to us at that moment. One of the issues I see is that, despite many claims to the contrary, we live in such an superficial, inarticulate society that when it comes to dealing with really basic emotions people struggle to express or convey themselves.

Often before and some time after an emergency allow yourself the time you need to be alone to meditate on and organise your own thoughts.

If your lucky you might turn out normal but, alternatively, you also might still be a permanent misfit for broader society that needs to go to live in the jungle with a tribe of previously uncontacted people who will assume you are actually normal as they have no social references for outside society. That's fine too of course.

SSky

I'm dreaming about earthquakes all the bloody time now so obviously something deep inside me has been affected by the quakes even though I'm not consciously aware of it. Last night in my dreams I was back in the UK on a council estate and all the road was moving and cracking in front of me ... I woke up exhausted!
Earthquakes are traumatising and it's the helplessness you feel as they happen that shocks me. Like I've mentioned before, I never behave how I expect I would behave when they happen.
Folk were already exhausted from the Christchurch quakes and now more of the country has to go through years of the same thing.
I hate that concrete pill thing that goes on in NZ, it's alright to use it as a joke with a mate of something for something trivial when you're having fun but to use it as a remedy for post traumatic stress after a huge natural disaster is just horrific.

LittleGreyCat

There seem to be a lot of quakes all over the world at the moment.

Mainly in South America but Italy has taken a kicking.

Is this normal, or is something going on?

BEVS

Does seem so LGC. Japan as well.

Bo-Jangles

I'm no expert but it does seem to me that they are related but it may be that awareness thing, once you're awareness is heightened you become more attuned to others, like getting a new car you suddenly notice all the others. Earthquakes are happening all the time just the size, depth and severity of damage varies and the bigger ones become newsworthy and grab our attention.

The same happened in 2011, it was only a matter of days shortly after the big ones in Christchurch that Japan and others got very badly hit.

LoCarb

A seismologist did say we've been through a quiet period in NZ since 1950, but things could be hotting up again now.

Kotare

I have been in NZ on and off since the 50's and we certainly had quakes, but never the frequency occurring over the past year. Perhaps more interesting is whether the current turmoil will activate one of the live volcanoes (Ngauruhoe/Ruapehu) or even dormant ones like Egmont or Rangitoto.

LoCarb

Or Bay of Islands area!

Kotare

Less likely though Kaikohe is a hotspot - like a good Kiwi our emergency kit is ready to roll incl 40000 litres of water (if it survives), a generator and enough chicken and wine for coq au vin for a fortnight :-)