Pom_Chch

Oh, I don't know. Would you like to ask the loved ones of the people who have been killed so far in the quakes? Perhaps you should tell this family that earthquakes aren't a big deal and not to worry too much:

Christchurch earthquake: Emotional farewell to baby Jayden - National - NZ Herald News

BEVS

Not round me they don't . They do not want anymore of it. They want no more damage and destruction.
They are not sensitive. They are stalwart but sensible just like me.

LoCarb

100%

bourbon-biscuit

You're being silly, Kotare. The research is pretty clear that earthquakes are by their very nature (occur out of the blue and then again and again ...) just the sort of thing that does a really good job at causing PTSD, anxiety, and other trauma and stress related health issues. Chch is teaching us this, if we didn't already know it. It doesn't matter if you're a toughie or a sensitive soul, living with that sort of unpredictable fear is damaging.

Kotare

Well I appreciate it appeats to go in cycles, but you either learn to live with it or migrate as it isn't going away.

Justcol

Would have to side with Kotare on this one

Shit happens, sometimes, for some people its REALLY shit, houses down, people dead, but thats not the reality for most
Thats the reality for 2 families, just 2, and for them it really really sucks
But this is like when someone gets cancer, know one is supposed to talk about it, and those who do are cold and unfeeling

I'm sure we all feel sorry for those affected, but what are we to do, sit in circles, holding hands worrying about it
or just get along with doing what we were doing before. Theres really very little risk involved in living in NZ

Pom_Chch

Just because it's reality, it doesn't mean it doesn't affect people in a big way. You and Kotare may have a very "she'll be right" attitude about it, as do some others. But I'm absolutely sure a lot of people don't. Sure we're not all sat around holding hands worrying about it 24/7 but, as BB says, people are deeply emotionally effected by the quakes and to suggest otherwise would lead me to believe you are living under a very large rock. On the outside (men particularly) a lot of people are very stoic, but on the inside it's a different story. You only have to look at suicide stats in Canterbury since the 2010/2011 quakes to see this is a valid point that's not always recognizable on the surface, but believe me, it's there and it's real problem.

Kotare

and your solution, other than stoicism or migration is?

scrubbedexpat094

My friends are Kiwis, they are just normal people scarred by living through the Chch earthquakes. My friend's brother was left paraplegic after the Feb 2011 earthquake. They know of others who suffered terrible injuries and friends who lost their lives. So they consider themselves lucky but they are traumatised. They have moved to a lifestyle block in Wellsford now but they worry about family still living in Chch naturally. They are just normal, kind and genuine people with a great sense of fun. They aren't overly sensitive but have been changed by the events that they found themselves in.

I don't care that I'm a sensitive soul, I'd rather be that way because it makes me the caring person I am. It's part of the reason I became a midwife. I'd rather have a warm, caring heart and be able to empathise with another's plight than be a cold, hard fish.

bourbon-biscuit

So you are basically saying to the people of Chch that they should either chin up or emigrate. That's not possible for everyone; in fact, it's not possible for most Kiwis and for those that moved there pre-quakes.


Acknowledgement and compassion are a good starting point. The "man up" attitude is actually a killer for men - it is literally responsible for a significant number of the alarming suicides among men in NZ because there is a belief (which your post reinforces if left unchallenged) that it is unmanly to admit to struggling, to being fearful, etc.

Kotare

And I reiterate once again your alternative solution is?

BEVS

What? I've no idea what this really means.

You started out saying that all Kiwis had the same attitude as you to earthquakes. This is not correct by a long shot .

Then you suggested that because we are immigrants we are somehow over sensitive (woosies). Why, I have no idea.

You followed that by suggesting my elderly pal would feel the same uncertainty about her safety had she had an accident. That is absurd. Quakes are random and unpredictable. Further , they happen with a cluster effect. I can tell you had she had a one off accident she wouldn't be concerning that she could possibly be in line for another. It is because of the nature of quakes that she is concerned.

No idea what NZ driving has to do with this at all. With the NZ drivers you can adopt defensive driving & choose where and when to drive. With a quake you go through it and hope you come out the other side unscathed.

You may well have felt quakes as a youngster however things have changed now following the two very major events that you have not experienced.

Sensible people are aware and becoming more prepared. They no longer think it will be OK. Reality has made a huge statement that we live in a quake zone that is capable of severe prolonged damage. Not a few jolts and shakes here and there or a quake up the road in Japan. Right here on our own doorsteps, right now, so we need to always be ready. That doesn't mean lying in bed awake all night long, although that is certainly what happens following a major event. It means a change of mind set & quite a big one at that.

Of course one could always do as several Kiwis I know did. Move to Oz.

Justcol

Being depressed is acceptable now, it gives some folks a reason to justify being a miserable buggar.
We've all been there and worn the T shirt, when I was at my lowest point, being told to harden up was the best advice I could have got

Catchafire

Say what you will about the state of NZ houses, but you cant argue against the building code in this example. Amazed the occupants were able to walk away unharmed.

Kotare

If you deconstruct any statement and read your own meanings into it Bevs :-) I thought my solution of stoicism or migration were the only choices (noting your friends chose the latter - hope they don't get exposed to bush fires).

You are carefully avoiding providing your alternative solution to the problem - but now bored with repeating myself :-)