Shit I keep moving continent to leave them behind....doesnt seem to work they keep finding me.

I find it helps to jab something sharp into my eye and the desire soon leaves.

Wow... 19 pages. Sorry but not going to read the whole thing!

My hubby is US-born and has zero intention of retiring here. I was exceedingly pleased when I heard that.

I'll be "celebrating" (not really ) 11 long years in the US this coming Thanksgiving. But we'll not move to Europe, too expensive. We have our eyes set on New Zealand and are visiting next year.

Hmm sorry I dont get the Europe is expensive Oz/NZ/US are cheap arguments. That may have been the case at one time but now its all pretty much the same (certain locations not withstanding). Some Kiwi friends of ours were telling us not so long ago how most of the Islands with anything approaching a habitable climate are on a par with the UK cost wise and the North Island around Auckland ( the good weather bit ) is like London. And wages are crap.

Firstly, people come here on holiday and are disillusioned and decide they want to move here. I made the same errors in thinking that. I came and stayed with friends here, saw how well off they were, how relaxed the lifestyle seemed, and thought it would be fantastic to live here. But it was all leisure time on holiday. When you actually move here its different. There are pro's and con's.

Con's: The work is hard, long hours, with very little vacation time or benefits. Job security is nonexistent, and you can be unemployed without notice for any reason your boss chooses. Workers rights here are almost zero. Although the pay seems higher the bills are bigger. Health care is expensive, and we face those bills regularly. It can be difficult to mesh with the social life, but then we have a different sort of social life in the UK and in order to fit in here, you need to be adaptable. If aren't willing to do that, and only complain about the differences, you will not be happy. Also the exchange rate is high and the cost of returning to the UK to see family is something we can only afford to do every couple of years.

Pro's: Dispite the above, our lifestyle is in fact better. We have a nice home that I could only dream of in the UK, 2 cars which we couldn't have afforded to run in the UK. The sense of family unity from Kate's family is something I never experienced in the UK and even though I married into the family, I've been treated like a son and a brother from the very first day I arrived. That also extends to my family in the UK. When my son came here, we had a surprise birthday party for him, in which the entire family attended, half of whom had never met him. Kate's mum treats him like her own grandson. Regardless of complaints I've read by other members, I can't complain about the school system at all. I've had children attend schools in both countries, and the educational systems are structured differently, but seem similar in course work, though the US does seem more demanding.

I think your reasons for coming to the US is what decides how satisfied you are with life here. If you had a close family and secure home life, and came here looking for a job or financial success, you probably won't be happy. But if you lacked the family closeness, regardless of your financial situation, and its something you found here, you'll be happy. You get out of the experience what you put into it, and you need to be open minded and adaptable for that.

Would I do it again?...................... ABSOLUTELY!!!

Adaptable? Living in the Bible belt, the whole social life is based around church, and I refuse to be a hypocrite and pretend to believe in something I do not, just to fit into that social life. If you like to call that being unadaptable, so be it. I call it being true to myself.

My IL's are from Arkansas. I must admit, their way of life is quite different. It seems very slow. The ones I met seem quite genuine, but their ways are so different, dont know how you couldn't lose yourself in that environment.
Visited Hot Springs and spent a few days there, they do get the most amazing thunderstorms though don't they?

I feel for you - this must be tough. Never been to Arkansas, but have spent considerable time in other BB states - it truly is a completely different world. Not sure how I could stand it.

I'd be found walking round wearing T-Shirts saying stuff like "Atheist And Proud".

I dated a girl in Delaware, the BB does now stretch to southern DE, but then it came up to Wilmington. I was getting to the point when I would consider settling down, but although Iliked this girl a lot, she was religious and I was not, so I ended the relationship. Her parents were also very religious, but different. Her mother had a number painful, almost disabling, problems, but she just accepted them and was friendly and sweet and accepting of all. The father was racist to the point that he would wind the window down and scream, "Jungle bunnies" at African Americans on the sidewalk. He may have been edging into senility though, but it showed that there is a huge range of religious people.

Funnily enough, I met a girl from Hull, she was also religious, but the common backgrounds made up and we married.

Difficult to answer easily as I moved for family reasons. There are some things that I do not like:
Freezing cold and loads of snow in the winter.
Many of my co-workers attend church but swear and make every attempt to do as little work as possible which does not seem a very good example!
The American's love of big vehicles that guzzle gas at an alarming rate and then they complain about it!!
Around here all the social life revolves around bars and getting drunk or taking some substance!

If I were young(ger) and single frankly I would not consider coming at all.

I think most people have got your answer covered. I think moving to the East Coast will mean less culture shock for you. If you were off to Texas, that would be a big change.

Being an expat can be incredibly trying sometimes. You try to stop yourself from constantly comparing the US to the UK, but you can't help it and it's mentally exhausting. You also can't help but question if you did the right thing.. see you're doing it already and you haven't even left. And nothing can prepare you for the awfulness of homesickness and missing friends and family.

However, living in another country enriches your life. You get to see your own culture from the outside and appreciate it in different ways. You learn new life skills, develop new tastes. And you get to see another part of the world.

I think coming over en famille with Brit wife will be a different experience than coming over with an American spouse. You'll have one another to bitch and moan to (maybe not the wee ones). Although, I have to say, since having two kids in the last three years, life here has got incredibly hard without grandparents around. Be prepared to shell out for a babysitter at $12 an hour.

I also think that coming over for a known time period will make it seem more of an adventure than a life sentence. Three years out of your life is really nothing. Whether it ends up being positive or negative, I think it's important for everyone to spend some time out of their own culture.

Good luck

Yep. Cost me $250 for dinner last night, $80 of that was for the babysitter..........of course no-one factors that in when they say stuff like petrol and cigarettes are so much cheaper in the States

That's ok though - most yanks take care of that by bringing their kid (months to 12 years old) to nice restaurants, R rated movies, whatever it may be so they don't have to fork out for a babysitter

By the way - $250 - hope you got your leg over after forking out that much

It was a special occasion don't do it that often............................ or go to fancy restaurants spending $250