What advice would you give
#61
Re: What advice would you give
If your home life is so great why would you want to start a relationship with someone that could mean you have to leave it all behind?
#62
Re: What advice would you give
There is no telling who you'll fall in love with though, is there? Like you people can meet elsewhere, even while on vacation. I didn't know that falling in love with someone who's not from your hometown meant that life as you know it isn't great. That would also basically mean that every single person's life sucks. Oh wait, a lot of (non-single) people actually think that.
#63
Re: What advice would you give
But also the point, they do that on the NHS too. They try to get them out of beds in acute care to rehab facilities. It happens everywhere, not just in the US. They need the beds available. It's a sad part of life. You are acting like it only happens here. You have to be realistic.
It's the Hospital trying to get them to move to rehab, so they help another person in the UK.
Here it is the almighty $$ that decides when a person should leave.
In that boy's case it is the Insurance Company wanting him out, not the Hospital, the Doc's say he should stay.
Elaine
#64
Re: What advice would you give
There is no telling who you'll fall in love with though, is there? Like you people can meet elsewhere, even while on vacation. I didn't know that falling in love with someone who's not from your hometown meant that life as you know it isn't great. That would also basically mean that every single person's life sucks. Oh wait, a lot of (non-single) people actually think that.
#65
Re: What advice would you give
The Doctor gives you a prescription, you go to the Pharmacy and they give you a generic form of the drug. If you want the name brand you have to pay the full cost which can be over a $100 in many cases.
Also with our Insurance Company there are also some drugs not covered at all and you have to pay the full cost.
I can still see her frustration and she is getting some treatment, where here without insurance a person may not even get that, as there is no way they can afford it, or, their insurance company drops them.
Elaine
#66
Re: What advice would you give
That's exactly right. And imagine what standard it would it in the UK if you could even get a place. I don't remember hearing about any fundraisers to get kids sent to the UK for life-saving treatments and surgeries. But I can remember how many there were back in the UK for people that needed to come here to get something. My own parents had to pay their NHS doctor to treat my brother as a private patient when he needed a surgery the NHS wouldn't pay for when he was a kid. And it certainly wasn't cheap.
I'm saying without good insurance, not all Americans can use it anyway.
Elaine
#67
Re: What advice would you give
Ive only been here about 4 months, so Im not used to being here that much yet and I get homesick, so maybe my advice isn't the best but I would say don't move, at least not to where I am, it's boring as hell and there's no one I have anything in common with. I gave up my life in the UK to move here and nothing prepares you for the enormity of what you have given up quite like a big bad dose of homesickness as well as culture shock.
If I had the money for me and my husband to return to the UK, we both would in a flash. He's always saying to me "just get me out of this country, please". The only reason we're not living in the UK right this very moment is money, and to sponsor my husband for permanent residency in the UK we would need to be living free of public funds which would be impossible to do right now. I wouldn't be able to earn enough money to support us both as well as live free of public funds and pay for costs for him to get a green card there (council tax / housing benefit, etc.) So basically, the cost of living forced us to live here, and I'm glad I made the move to be with my husband, but we need to move somewhere with a bit of life and I miss home a lot.
If I had the money for me and my husband to return to the UK, we both would in a flash. He's always saying to me "just get me out of this country, please". The only reason we're not living in the UK right this very moment is money, and to sponsor my husband for permanent residency in the UK we would need to be living free of public funds which would be impossible to do right now. I wouldn't be able to earn enough money to support us both as well as live free of public funds and pay for costs for him to get a green card there (council tax / housing benefit, etc.) So basically, the cost of living forced us to live here, and I'm glad I made the move to be with my husband, but we need to move somewhere with a bit of life and I miss home a lot.
It can be hard to make friends, usually the novelty of your accent can help
People WANT to talk to you to hear you speak !
I felt like a bloody monkey when I first came, people saying "Talk, say something else !"
Does he even want to go and live in UK ?
My paperwork got messed up and I couldn't work for the first SEVEN months I was here, I was climbing the walls with boredom !
I couldn't even find a job that paid under the table. I had worked all my life and having to sit around was horrible.
You may find if you can get involved with any Animal Rescue Organizations in your area, I'll bet you're find a BRIT !!
That's how I found some in my area. It seems Brits are drawn to animals no matter where they live.
Good Luck
Elaine
#68
Re: What advice would you give
There is no telling who you'll fall in love with though, is there? Like you people can meet elsewhere, even while on vacation. I didn't know that falling in love with someone who's not from your hometown meant that life as you know it isn't great. That would also basically mean that every single person's life sucks. Oh wait, a lot of (non-single) people actually think that.
Totally out of the norm for me.
And before you ask, we've been married 20 years this year.
Elaine
#69
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: What advice would you give
I'm not saying that the practice of medicine and the technology is better in UK, I'm sure it is ahead over here and you often see people coming from other Countries to the USA to be helped and many times the treatment is given free by the Doctors in the USA, the people just have to pay for transporting themselves here.
I'm saying without good insurance, not all Americans can use it anyway.
Elaine
I'm saying without good insurance, not all Americans can use it anyway.
Elaine
#70
Re: What advice would you give
As another true American - I personally (re. healthcare) would feel more free under the American system than the NHS.
Neither system is perfect. Both have flaws.
But based upon both experiences posted on here, and talking to people in person who've used both systems - I personally would still take my chances with the American one over the NHS. There are risks either way, but I prefer the risks of the US one.
Probably differs for different people's situations I'm sure.
If you put buying BUPA into it, I'm not sure. But I don't like the bit where the GP has to agree to refer you to a specialist.
Of course, whether the US or the actual NHS is better is really irrelevant. What matters is, what would the US version of the NHS be compared to the current system. I truly think it would be worse than either current system.
Neither system is perfect. Both have flaws.
But based upon both experiences posted on here, and talking to people in person who've used both systems - I personally would still take my chances with the American one over the NHS. There are risks either way, but I prefer the risks of the US one.
Probably differs for different people's situations I'm sure.
If you put buying BUPA into it, I'm not sure. But I don't like the bit where the GP has to agree to refer you to a specialist.
Of course, whether the US or the actual NHS is better is really irrelevant. What matters is, what would the US version of the NHS be compared to the current system. I truly think it would be worse than either current system.
#71
Re: What advice would you give
A True American.
Just a term I used implying one who was born here and raised in the American culture and way of life. As opposed to those foreigners who have taken American citizenship.
Have you not felt the "subtle undertow" in conversation with a native born American that you are somewhat less due to accent, speech pattern, perception? It doesn't happen all the time, but depending on the situation, it can be quite pronounced or just a shadow.
Just a term I used implying one who was born here and raised in the American culture and way of life. As opposed to those foreigners who have taken American citizenship.
Have you not felt the "subtle undertow" in conversation with a native born American that you are somewhat less due to accent, speech pattern, perception? It doesn't happen all the time, but depending on the situation, it can be quite pronounced or just a shadow.
#72
Re: What advice would you give
But, correct me if I'm wrong and I'm sure you will
It's the Hospital trying to get them to move to rehab, so they help another person in the UK.
Here it is the almighty $$ that decides when a person should leave.
In that boy's case it is the Insurance Company wanting him out, not the Hospital, the Doc's say he should stay.
Elaine
It's the Hospital trying to get them to move to rehab, so they help another person in the UK.
Here it is the almighty $$ that decides when a person should leave.
In that boy's case it is the Insurance Company wanting him out, not the Hospital, the Doc's say he should stay.
Elaine
#73
Re: What advice would you give
There is no telling who you'll fall in love with though, is there? Like you people can meet elsewhere, even while on vacation. I didn't know that falling in love with someone who's not from your hometown meant that life as you know it isn't great. That would also basically mean that every single person's life sucks. Oh wait, a lot of (non-single) people actually think that.
#74
Re: What advice would you give
In my case that discussion was brought up at a very early stage. I'm British, and so is my husband. On our very first date I made it known that I would not be moving back to the UK. Ever. If he had insisted that he would do so, then there would not have been a second date. (We met while working in Amsterdam).
If your home life is so great why would you want to start a relationship with someone that could mean you have to leave it all behind?
If your home life is so great why would you want to start a relationship with someone that could mean you have to leave it all behind?
For us, we were young, I was full of the exuberance of being abroad and there is the whole "lost in romance" bit too.
So what do you do when after a long time, both don't desire to live in the same place?
My conclusion is someone must give in.
#75
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 30
Re: What advice would you give
There are many great things about the US, and many bad things. There are many great things about my home country, and many bad things. So apart from all that, since it balances eachother basically, I would tell them to stay the heck where you are. Moving countries will forever uproot you, neither country will ever be exactly what you need (although at times it might seem that way), and you'll always end up missing people no matter where you live. So stay put if you can. Travel lots, but live in one country. Once you move you're forever living a life of wondering if you should stay or go. I'm definitely not an un-adventurous person, but moving countries should be outlawed. Unless you're within driving distance.