Alas poor Johnny, he is no more,
For what he thought was H20, was H2SO4

..... and so his 'phate was sealed.

Being from Yorkshire nobody knows what I mean by "Kerk" so that one is out as well.

Yes, that was the one.

Had huge trouble in our local Subway when asking for tom-ah-toes. It was only when our daughter stepped in with her pretend southern accent that we got served!

That was one battle I made a strategic decision to surrender the day I stepped off the plane.

I've had waitress ask me if I want Grey Goose or Ketel 1 after ordering water. It was lunch time and I was very pregnant so unlikely to be ordering vodka shots with my chicken Caesar salad
Lx

In what universe can 'water' be mistaken for 'vodka'?

In Atlanta GA apparently! At least asking for Coke here means you will get coke

By the glass or the line

In a universe, or at least a country , where "water" is commonly pronounced "wadda", which is not so far from "vaddka".

The one that drives me nuts is when places in the US and Canada have British place names and they are pronounced differently, i.e. incorrectly in fact because I'm sure the original colonists used the British pronunciation.

Especially stuff with a "w" in the middle, like Warwick or Norwich. I'm sure "sandwich" was "sanditch" before the Americans got hold of it.

I say reclaim it, from now on say "sanditch" and confuse Americans.

And as bad as that is, the mutilation of French place names, e.g. New Orleans, Coeur D'Alene, Boise, etc. is even worse.

Although Americans do tend to say Spanish place names more accurately than the British do, e.g. Nevada.

What really irritates me about it is when people say, "oh that's just the way we say it" - yes because you are a later immigrant to the area and you or your ancestors were too lazy to learn how to pronounce it correctly. All that means is that you're a lazy idiot, not that you're saying it right.

I noticed John Oliver was on about "comptroller" being pronounced incorrectly on The Daily Show last night.

English is not a phonetic language, especially place names. Potomac River, Arkansas, etc.

Do that in most of the SE of the US and they'll ask what kind of coke. That used to confuse the hell out of me. Up north people say "pop", out west people say "soda" and in most of the rest of the US it's "coke".

"What kind of coke do you want?"
"Oh I'll have a pepsi."

I had to laugh at this thread. Multiple times I received a Michelob Ultra after asking for a water.. not a wah-der! Also asked for one at Aunty Anne's once and she had no clue what I was saying, H2O was also met with a blank expression - hubby had to order it for me in the end!