JupiterAndBeyond

I've been coming and going all over the USA for many years and more recently I got engaged to my girlfriend and will be moving to New York permanently when the K-1 process is done. I've spent a lot of time in the US of late and the honeymoon period with the US is well and truly over in my mind. Often when I visit for extended periods for work it does feel like a glorified holiday but of late it's started to dawn on me that this is where I will shortly call home. There are a few things that I dislike so far about the US and NY in general:

1.) Tipping - I hate being reminded by taxi drivers (usually at EWR or JFK) that it's "x bucks not including tolls and tip". The toll is fine but for them to mention the tip is not appropriate. I know it's an American thing that I'll have to learn to live with but my understanding of a tip is that it rewards outstanding service and is not a given right! The other thing that's irritating is to be reminded that "You Brits are not good tippers"! I've lost count of the number of times I've heard that in various cities
2.) The Roads - as leader of the "First World" you'd expect America to have great roads and infrastructure. A couple of weekends ago I was driving down 5th Avenue and was surprised at the large collection of enormous potholes, we're not talking a few inches deep, in some cases maybe a foot deep or so. Now I understand why so many Americans have SUVs, it's like driving off road on the road! It's the same on the Interstates near NY also, it's great that they have 4 or 5 lanes but when only 2-3 are usable it's a different story.
3.) Healthcare - I've heard both sides of the argument ad infinitum now from Americans of the two main political persuasions. I'm still amazed at the number of times I hear Americans talking about "I don't have insurance at the moment so I can't get treatment" or "The specialist I need to see doesn't take my insurance". The main thrust of their argument is that a free market in Healthcare means you can choose who treats you and when they treat you rather than the Healthcare system dictating who you see and when. Of course that's great IF they take your insurance or you have the dollars to pay for it yourself.
4.) Cheese - why does everything almost always come with yellow goop on it!?
5.) Accent - this has plus and negative sides, now that I'm engaged however it only has a negative side! You would have thought that in NY the locals would be used to foreigners by now so why do they do a double take when you speak? (Funnily enough when my OH visits the UK, she complains about the same thing)
6.) TV - this is just plain nasty, watching American telly is like eating a thin broth with a fork. The bowl is full but you just can't seem to ingest enough to satisfy. Not to mention medication adverts with their 2 minutes of disclaimers which often cite "sudden death" or "suicidal thoughts" as a side effect.

Xebedee

Thought about somewhere other than NYC? Its a great place if you are driven, thick-skinned and want things. Not exactly the sort of place for someone who thinks either simple or genuine are of great value..........

Suggestion: try the South - just don't go too far South.

sallysimmons

I don't think the south would be the answer for him based on his objections to NYC.

The culture shock would be even worse. First, re healthcare - everyone he meets would think that changing healthcare is socialist and evil. Regarding the cheese he hates gooped on everything, it would be even worse there. And as for being an outsider with his accent, again that would be worse in the south.

As someone who lives close to NYC, I don't think it's just for people who are thick-skinned, greedy or driven (although thanks for the characterization!) The reason I'm here is that the north east is the closest I can get culturally to England and therefore the only place in America I feel even semi-comfortable. People are socially liberal in their attitudes, there's lots of art and culture, God doesn't come up every 5 minutes, and most people believe in evolution. I consider those pluses.

Plus, you know where you stand. People don't say "aw bless your heart" when they mean "go jump off a cliff, you cow" !!

Pistolpete2

So would you say that the NE extends from Philadelphia to Boston for the Social Liberal zone and that San Francisco and maybe Seattle also fit into the NE frame socially though not geographically?

sallysimmons

I think you could go down as far as DC and even northern Virginia (although that's still more of a mix). Above Mass it starts to get more rural and conservative.

Agreed on those west coast towns - I'd add Portland as well. But while they're socially liberal, they're still different somehow. I can't put my finger on it but I think it's maybe because the North East was first settled by Brits and so it has more cultural similarities to Britain. Not that a place has to be culturally similar to Britain to be worth living in - I love Portland - just that if we're talking in terms of culture shock, the liberal north east is probably as easy as it gets.

It's still hard though - I moved from the UK to Canada and then from Canada to here. The difference between the US and Canada was way harder for me to adjust to than the difference between the UK and Canada. I didn't expect that because Canada and the US look so similar. But boy are they worlds apart!

Pistolpete2

Thanks!

Don't know Portland Oregon but do know Portland Maine which seemed to me to be a fine-dining town..............medical centres.............and not much else.

Bob

MA is uber conservative...which was a surprise.

sallysimmons

Where in MA are you?

New York State is very conservative upstate, but there are so many of us downstate that the governor and senators are reliably democratic. Maybe it's the same thing in MA?

cluedweasel

I may be wrong, but from my experience, once you get out of the major cities in any state, you hit pretty conservative areas. My little corner of Oregon is a case in point. As conservative as anywhere in the mid-west or south. Full of tea party people trying to convince me that they're not really Republicans in disguise

Derrygal

Totally agree with you. You can live in a heavily Democratic city (such as Cleveland, Ohio - I live in the suburbs) and move half an hour's drive or so, and the place is full of Republicans (right wing Republicans) and tea party people.

Bob

Oh no, once you get past the liberal skin, it really is very conservative down here, old school politics.

I'm in the outer burbs, but was living right in the burbs...but even in Boston. It's quite a odd state once you scratch the surface

sallysimmons

I think our definition of conservative and liberal changes after we've lived here a while. I've been here 20 years and consider Mass liberal because almost all your elected politicians are liberal, you have statewide healthcare, and you permit gay marriage. After living here so long, those ideas seem left wing to me. (Crazy I know!) Yet David Cameron supports gay marriage and national healthcare and he's considered conservative in Britain.

I do maintain that MA and the rest of the north east are positively communist when compared to the south or the midwest. It's all relative.

Bob

True, but that's on the surface, scratch that off and it is pretty conservative, that's why it is a bit of a surprise living here, because you'd just not think it from what you mentioned.

sallysimmons

One thing that always shocks me is how quick people are to say 'I'll pray for you' in every day conversation. I'm an atheist and one time I said to a colleague 'please don't pray for me.' Later another person told me 'never tell an evangelical Christian not to pray for you - it just makes them even more determined that you need it.'

Gabgoeshome

I have found that too ,but just out of interest ...why did you ask them not to ?

This is a Christian country , prayers are going to be more openly offered .