Originally Posted by veteranwife

People say that the schools are better. I thought so at first. I am now fully aware of how much they instruct, not teach. They solely feed them information to enable them to pass the next test that is due. It's all about results, not learning.

Originally Posted by Blunder

I've been here in the USA now (Texas for four years, Colorado for one) and I've finally arrived at the point where the "novelty has worn off". I don't know if it's age, maturity, a few years in the school of life, or what, but after some ups and downs, some wonderful experiences and adventures, and some true tests of patience, I'm officially done.

At first, the glitz of living in "AMERICA!", the open roads, the scenery, the big plates of food, frosted beer glasses, huge houses and athe things we heard about in movies were enough to sustain my interest. It has been a wonderful larger than life experience with good friends, but I've never been able to shake the feeling that I had overstayed a holiday.

And as good as the friends are that I've made here, I know we don't have that deep, true blood "brotherhood" bond like what I have with my mates back home. It's like everything in America emotionally gets to a 7 or an 8 before hitting a glass ceiling and never truly hitting that 10 to say "This truly is my home now."

I miss so many things, big and small, about England and I want to know if I decided to move back, would I regret it once all the tearful reunions and catching up with friends died down? Would catching the bus to my small terraced house just in time for Eastenders soon get old, with me asking myself why I left behind a grand home, car, and laying by the pool?

I miss my family, my true childhood friends, I miss the lifestyle over there. I can't ever shake the feeling that America is just constantly shaking me down for money - processing fees, admin fees, convenience fees, toll road fees, state tax, federal tax, etc. I feel like my original plans to travel the continent and see the sights have somehow been slapped with a giant dose of reality and instead I'm just working 8-6 (with ten days vacation a year lol) just to pay the bills and try to survive. Life has become more about existing rather than living.

And if I'm going to "exist", I'd rather do it in the same locale as my parents, siblings and friends.

Is a return to England really that promising? Or just another "grass is greener" fantasy that will soon leave me cold and longing for my US life again?

Right now nothing sounds better than making my way through the cold to see the warm orange glow of the pub windows, the muffle of a live band, and knowing there's a pint in there waiting for me, and a group of mates around the small circular table.

I really miss home

Originally Posted by Englishman43

First just wanted to say I just discovered this website and it's so nice going through the threads to realize that there are a heap of Brits dealing with the same things I am.

I've lived in the US ( San Diego) for 13 years, moved here when I was 30 and was totally 100% all about the U.S, 13 years later the blinders have fallen away and I'm going through the same thing as a lot of you.

I do miss England but realize the England I miss may no longer exist ( I have only been back a few times ).I feel like I'm in a twilight zone, I don't feel at home here in the US and have actually found the longer I've been here the less at home I feel but I also feel out of touch with England, one changes, the people you left behind change, can you ever really " Go back " ?

I find I miss the most:

Family- I'd kill with bare hands to be able to pop 'round me Mums for a cuppa on a Sunday afternoon.

Friends - not the shallow, good timers who just want a laugh, real friends that make you feel cared for and loved. I have never found that here in an American only in the fellow Brits I've met.

Civility - Not the right word but when I go back to England I always get a profound sense of "normalcy" which is very comforting to me.

Humility & a "Stiff upper lip" - I yearn for both, neither of which are to be found in any great quantity in my neck of the woods to put it politely!

An English summers day - They may be few and far between but as far as I'm concerned there is nothing better in life than an English summers day.

My biggest worry is getting old here. I'm not sure if it's just a Southern California thing but the impression I get is once your productivity tails off and you get old you become a burden on society, a nuisance that they wish would just go away. I'm positively sure I will eventually move back to the UK because of this.

Blunder - It's whats important to you isnt it ? What was a priority to me when I moved here at age 30, that made me so mad for it, I would laugh at now at age 43.

Oh and if anyone is in the San Diego area and they want a beer please let me know :-)

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl

To me going back to the UK is like putting on an old pair of comfy slippers.

Originally Posted by keaki80

I so agree Jerseygirl ....BIG WARM comfy slippers ..
- and to Englishman
"Oh and if anyone is in the San Diego area and they want a beer please let me know :-) "

Wish you were in Washington :-)
I especially liked your comment about killing with bare hands for being able to pop round your mum's for a cup of tea. It's the missing family that does it for me ALL the time. One of my sisters lived walking distance away - and you always knew you could just pop in any time. I have no-one like that here.
By the way, I can't kill a spider, but I get the idea

Originally Posted by Englishman43

First just wanted to say I just discovered this website and it's so nice going through the threads to realize that there are a heap of Brits dealing with the same things I am.

I've lived in the US ( San Diego) for 13 years, moved here when I was 30 and was totally 100% all about the U.S, 13 years later the blinders have fallen away and I'm going through the same thing as a lot of you.

I do miss England but realize the England I miss may no longer exist ( I have only been back a few times ).I feel like I'm in a twilight zone, I don't feel at home here in the US and have actually found the longer I've been here the less at home I feel but I also feel out of touch with England, one changes, the people you left behind change, can you ever really " Go back " ?

I find I miss the most:

Family- I'd kill with bare hands to be able to pop 'round me Mums for a cuppa on a Sunday afternoon.

Friends - not the shallow, good timers who just want a laugh, real friends that make you feel cared for and loved. I have never found that here in an American only in the fellow Brits I've met.

Civility - Not the right word but when I go back to England I always get a profound sense of "normalcy" which is very comforting to me.

Humility & a "Stiff upper lip" - I yearn for both, neither of which are to be found in any great quantity in my neck of the woods to put it politely!

An English summers day - They may be few and far between but as far as I'm concerned there is nothing better in life than an English summers day.

My biggest worry is getting old here. I'm not sure if it's just a Southern California thing but the impression I get is once your productivity tails off and you get old you become a burden on society, a nuisance that they wish would just go away. I'm positively sure I will eventually move back to the UK because of this.

Blunder - It's whats important to you isnt it ? What was a priority to me when I moved here at age 30, that made me so mad for it, I would laugh at now at age 43.

Oh and if anyone is in the San Diego area and they want a beer please let me know :-)

Originally Posted by AmerLisa

I'm just curious, but do you think that being an elderly nuisance is going to be less an issue in the UK?

Originally Posted by ldyinlv

I think they take better care of the elderly in UK....

Originally Posted by AmerLisa

Perhaps....but how are the elderly less a nuisance? My MIL has worked in old age homes for years, they're full of elderly people quite forgotten by their loved ones....

Originally Posted by ldyinlv

I think they take better care of the elderly in UK....

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl

I agree.

On the other hand I think as you get older there is a pull towards your roots...to something that is very comfortable and familiar. I bet many Americans living in the UK think the same.

Originally Posted by Sally Redux

I remember reading such a poignant short story by Ruth Prawer Jhabvala about an elderly Englishwoman trapped in India in her old age and yearning for home - this was when I was about 18 and hadn't even thought of emigrating. It really made an impression, hoping I don't end up like that.

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl

On the other hand I think as you get older there is a pull towards your roots...to something that is very comfortable and familiar. I bet many Americans living in the UK think the same.

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl

Sadly I think that's the curse of the ex-pats Sally.

I see friends and family in the UK who have got their retirement nicely sewn up in neat packages. They see their adult children frequently. Then I look at us...torn between the UK/US/Canada. I really can't think of growing old anywhere but the UK...if only because I 'know the ropes' there...it's safe, comfortable...it's home. The problem is our daughter will be in Canada...although having spent the last couple of weeks in the UK...I can see her roots are in the UK too.

Originally Posted by Giantaxe

It's even more specific than that. I have several friends in California who yearn to move back to the east coast now they are approaching retirement.