Okay...Reality check time...
Aug 3rd 2007, 4:38 pm
#46
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,820
Re: Okay...Reality check time...
You will get a mortgage eventually so don't worry, everyoen has to re-start life when they come here.
Get a secured credit card from a bank, the get a car loan (thats the easiest to get, build up your credit and pay some rent on an appartment....... Then apply for a mortgage.
It took me 4 years to get to the needed stage.
Good luck in Chicago ... the weather is very similar to this area .. F**kin hot in summer and F**kin freezing in winter
Aug 4th 2007, 12:17 am
#47
Ping-ponger
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Dreich Alba
Posts: 12,024
Re: Okay...Reality check time...
From what others have said, it looks like you'll be able to work, plus you will be able to drive and to get a mortgage (been there, done that).
Are you and hubby looking at this as emigration (permanent), a short-term adventure, or wait-and-see? Have you sold your UK house? Are you planning to cut financial ties with the UK (closing bank accounts, etc.)?
If you are nervouse about the move, welcome to the club, everyone (just about) has gone through the last minute nerves, first year honeymoon, maybe second year homesickness, I'm sure there will be times you'll feel like you are on a rollercoaster. Anticipating that fact will help you to cope with it.
And if you are truly worried that you may hate it there and feel trapped, as others have said, keep your options open. DEFINITELY keep at least one UK bank account open, and consider opening a foreign currency account in the UK. If you haven't sold your UK house, then don't do so until you've had the chance to settle in the US and get a feeling for whether you might come back. There's plenty (me included) who have come back from the US and Oz and been stung by the rise in UK house prices during our time away. Also, if you have sold your UK house, consider registering as a voter and changing your address to a parent's, sibling's or good friend's address. It can help with some things if you maintain an address in the UK.
Start off looking at it as a short-term adventure, then you'll feel like you have an escape clause. Then if you end up loving every minute of it and want to stay, you can adapt your plans and outlook at that point.
Good luck - and as somene else said, remember you can always come back to the UK!
Are you and hubby looking at this as emigration (permanent), a short-term adventure, or wait-and-see? Have you sold your UK house? Are you planning to cut financial ties with the UK (closing bank accounts, etc.)?
If you are nervouse about the move, welcome to the club, everyone (just about) has gone through the last minute nerves, first year honeymoon, maybe second year homesickness, I'm sure there will be times you'll feel like you are on a rollercoaster. Anticipating that fact will help you to cope with it.
And if you are truly worried that you may hate it there and feel trapped, as others have said, keep your options open. DEFINITELY keep at least one UK bank account open, and consider opening a foreign currency account in the UK. If you haven't sold your UK house, then don't do so until you've had the chance to settle in the US and get a feeling for whether you might come back. There's plenty (me included) who have come back from the US and Oz and been stung by the rise in UK house prices during our time away. Also, if you have sold your UK house, consider registering as a voter and changing your address to a parent's, sibling's or good friend's address. It can help with some things if you maintain an address in the UK.
Start off looking at it as a short-term adventure, then you'll feel like you have an escape clause. Then if you end up loving every minute of it and want to stay, you can adapt your plans and outlook at that point.
Good luck - and as somene else said, remember you can always come back to the UK!
Last edited by dunroving; Aug 4th 2007 at 12:20 am.
Aug 4th 2007, 12:35 am
#48
MODERATOR
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Hong Kong, mostly.
Posts: 5,214
Re: Okay...Reality check time...
I think if you run through the messageboards on this site (not just the US ones) that you will find some of the more upset postings in the US, Australian and Canadian forums. People moved to these countries thinking it wasn't that big of a deal--similar culture, shared language, etc--but then come to find it isn't all they expected. Compare this to some of the posts in the Asian and Middle Eastern boards--where people went into their adventure as an adventure in a new culture and language and lifestyle--and you'll see a different level of acceptance in their new country.
There is another site that might really help you understand some of the problems you will face. Some of the posts there include:
Things I miss from home
Far from Family during Crisis
1 1/2 years in -- Feeling Very Homesick
Overwhelmed and Lonely
Wishing we did not move here
Lonley and Horribly sad ...It wasnt supposed to be like this...
These are posts from Americans who moved to the UK.
http://talk.uk-yankee.com/index.php?board=68.0
Things you miss are things that drive them nuts. Things you think are 'only a problem in the US' are causing them problems in the UK.
Understanding some of these common expat problems may help you get through some of the adjustments you'll be going through in the next few months.
And, as people always point out, there is always this message board to come back to when you are feeling out of sorts.
Aug 4th 2007, 2:32 am
#49
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,820
Re: Okay...Reality check time...
Since she was asked wheree in Northants she was from she hasn't returned 
I too was wondering as I am Northants born and bred
I too was wondering as I am Northants born and bred
Aug 4th 2007, 2:54 am
#50
Unmitigated Gall
Joined: Dec 2006
Location: it's still too dark to tell
Posts: 16,162
Re: Okay...Reality check time...
This thread deserves some kind of prize, there are some really great posts here!
Aug 4th 2007, 3:20 am
#51
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 68,280
Re: Okay...Reality check time...
Aug 4th 2007, 9:20 am
#52
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Posts: 826
Re: Okay...Reality check time...
Hi Kiera. Whereabouts in Northants are you from? I grew up in Kettering, just got back from a visit there. I'm sure things seem quite overwhelming now, but just take each day as it comes and you'll do just fine. In a big city like Chicago you'll have tons of social networks to turn too, and having a child in school will be a big plus, lots of other parents to hang out with, school socials etc. Good luck. It will be a big change from Northants, but a good change I'm sure!
Naomi.
Naomi.
If you love your life in the UK and have family and friends close by you personally I wouldn't leave, especially if your OH has a good job there.
If its for a set period of time ie 3 yrs on L1 visa and you can see it as an adventure for a period of time and feel you can be positive about it then great.
I don't know you or if you are just experiencing last minute jitters. If you are a lot of people here seemed to have it.
But if you're not, then if you are seriously not looking forward to it or positive about it and you haven't even moved IMO I don't think its going to get any better on this side.
Hate to be like this but am truly trying to be honest and helpful with you.
This is coming from someone who really likes it here and have found our 'dream' if you want to call it that.
But I was living away from my family and friends for a while anyway which makes being apart here not as hard as someone moving from being 'next door' to family.
If its for a set period of time ie 3 yrs on L1 visa and you can see it as an adventure for a period of time and feel you can be positive about it then great.
I don't know you or if you are just experiencing last minute jitters. If you are a lot of people here seemed to have it.
But if you're not, then if you are seriously not looking forward to it or positive about it and you haven't even moved IMO I don't think its going to get any better on this side.
Hate to be like this but am truly trying to be honest and helpful with you.
This is coming from someone who really likes it here and have found our 'dream' if you want to call it that.
But I was living away from my family and friends for a while anyway which makes being apart here not as hard as someone moving from being 'next door' to family.
I have thought about it plenty. I am going to look at it as a big adventure. I appreciate your thoughts.
Sorry just read this after my post, didn't know you had made your mind up and coming so soon
I am coming over soon but only to visit. Not sure when the move will take place. We still have to sell the house!
I looked at is as a big adventure that occasionally crops up in life and that helped me. Have fun and yes you can get work if you apply to be allowed to.
I am coming over soon but only to visit. Not sure when the move will take place. We still have to sell the house!
I looked at is as a big adventure that occasionally crops up in life and that helped me. Have fun and yes you can get work if you apply to be allowed to.
Thankyou. Gosh everyone is so helpful and understanding on this site! I love it!!!
This is good advice.
I'd caution you also to take everything said here with a grain of salt. Many people who post here are not happy. This a way of relief for many to just vent. For every British Expat on these boards there are probably 1,000 who have never logged on.
I think I mentioned it before--but I should probably repeat after your post--you REALLY need to come at this with an open mind. You can't come in 'looking for the negative' because ('ta-da') you will find it. You're not in the UK anymore, so making comparisons to 'back home' (which will become rosier and rosier and rosier every day you are away) just builds and builds to the point that you have every negative thing you can possibly think of = USA and every thing that is right and perfect in the world = UK.
You won't think back about the time you stepped in dog crap in a park when you are thinking of the UK, but when you do it in the US (and you are already feeling pretty upset about this that and the other thing) it just another example of why the US is so awful. 'God knows dog's don't take a crap in the UK...' Silly, but you get to that point.
If you can't keep an open mind and take it as it comes, then you really should sit down (now) with the hubby and talk through this. Perhaps coming to some understandings now will be a lot better than when you do so after 3 months of staring at the walls in Chicago.
I'd caution you also to take everything said here with a grain of salt. Many people who post here are not happy. This a way of relief for many to just vent. For every British Expat on these boards there are probably 1,000 who have never logged on.
I think I mentioned it before--but I should probably repeat after your post--you REALLY need to come at this with an open mind. You can't come in 'looking for the negative' because ('ta-da') you will find it. You're not in the UK anymore, so making comparisons to 'back home' (which will become rosier and rosier and rosier every day you are away) just builds and builds to the point that you have every negative thing you can possibly think of = USA and every thing that is right and perfect in the world = UK.
You won't think back about the time you stepped in dog crap in a park when you are thinking of the UK, but when you do it in the US (and you are already feeling pretty upset about this that and the other thing) it just another example of why the US is so awful. 'God knows dog's don't take a crap in the UK...' Silly, but you get to that point.
If you can't keep an open mind and take it as it comes, then you really should sit down (now) with the hubby and talk through this. Perhaps coming to some understandings now will be a lot better than when you do so after 3 months of staring at the walls in Chicago.
I really get what you're saying Penguinsix. It makes alot of sense. I am by nature quite a negative person. The glass is half empty etc etc. But in this case i am determined to look at it as an opportunity. One that doesn't come around every day. And hey! there's always the happy bods on BE to run to if i start feeling a bit iffy!!!
, lived in Kingsthorpe and Kingsthorpe Village, then ended up working in that shithole Corby. 
You only live once --- go for it! If it's pants, then you can go home again. For what it's worth, right now I don't think it's pants. I think it's worked out for us (touch wood), and I"m glad we did make that move (I had to quit my career -- I was previously the major wage earner -- as I was a H4) but, had I been allowed to work, I think the previous 4 years would have been easier. I've been very very low at times. But I've also had some amazing adventures, and I think that as a family we are much better off in terms of the time we have with each other, and the the lifestyle. (we now have Green Cards & I am able to work).
Just remember that it IS a foreign country, quite, quite foreign, and expect the differences, even though we speak the same language (well, that's a whole other post, actually, not sure how similar the language actually is).
As wife of an L1, you'll not be so cut off and powerless as you'll be able to get your EAD.
Chicago was recently described to me, just a month ago, (by a Serbian man serving me a Mojito in a bar in the island of Skiathos, Greece, and wanting to move to Chicago) as the most European city in the US.
He'd never been, but that is what people he knew who lived there said ... erm... so I'm sure it's reliable advice!!
You only live once - let us know how it turns out!
Just remember that it IS a foreign country, quite, quite foreign, and expect the differences, even though we speak the same language (well, that's a whole other post, actually, not sure how similar the language actually is).
As wife of an L1, you'll not be so cut off and powerless as you'll be able to get your EAD.
Chicago was recently described to me, just a month ago, (by a Serbian man serving me a Mojito in a bar in the island of Skiathos, Greece, and wanting to move to Chicago) as the most European city in the US.
He'd never been, but that is what people he knew who lived there said ... erm... so I'm sure it's reliable advice!!
You only live once - let us know how it turns out!
From what others have said, it looks like you'll be able to work, plus you will be able to drive and to get a mortgage (been there, done that).
Are you and hubby looking at this as emigration (permanent), a short-term adventure, or wait-and-see? Have you sold your UK house? Are you planning to cut financial ties with the UK (closing bank accounts, etc.)?
If you are nervouse about the move, welcome to the club, everyone (just about) has gone through the last minute nerves, first year honeymoon, maybe second year homesickness, I'm sure there will be times you'll feel like you are on a rollercoaster. Anticipating that fact will help you to cope with it.
And if you are truly worried that you may hate it there and feel trapped, as others have said, keep your options open. DEFINITELY keep at least one UK bank account open, and consider opening a foreign currency account in the UK. If you haven't sold your UK house, then don't do so until you've had the chance to settle in the US and get a feeling for whether you might come back. There's plenty (me included) who have come back from the US and Oz and been stung by the rise in UK house prices during our time away. Also, if you have sold your UK house, consider registering as a voter and changing your address to a parent's, sibling's or good friend's address. It can help with some things if you maintain an address in the UK.
Start off looking at it as a short-term adventure, then you'll feel like you have an escape clause. Then if you end up loving every minute of it and want to stay, you can adapt your plans and outlook at that point.
Good luck - and as somene else said, remember you can always come back to the UK!
Are you and hubby looking at this as emigration (permanent), a short-term adventure, or wait-and-see? Have you sold your UK house? Are you planning to cut financial ties with the UK (closing bank accounts, etc.)?
If you are nervouse about the move, welcome to the club, everyone (just about) has gone through the last minute nerves, first year honeymoon, maybe second year homesickness, I'm sure there will be times you'll feel like you are on a rollercoaster. Anticipating that fact will help you to cope with it.
And if you are truly worried that you may hate it there and feel trapped, as others have said, keep your options open. DEFINITELY keep at least one UK bank account open, and consider opening a foreign currency account in the UK. If you haven't sold your UK house, then don't do so until you've had the chance to settle in the US and get a feeling for whether you might come back. There's plenty (me included) who have come back from the US and Oz and been stung by the rise in UK house prices during our time away. Also, if you have sold your UK house, consider registering as a voter and changing your address to a parent's, sibling's or good friend's address. It can help with some things if you maintain an address in the UK.
Start off looking at it as a short-term adventure, then you'll feel like you have an escape clause. Then if you end up loving every minute of it and want to stay, you can adapt your plans and outlook at that point.
Good luck - and as somene else said, remember you can always come back to the UK!
Thanks for your advice.
Just wanted to say a big thankyou to everyone who posted. You are all a valuable source of comfort and information! I am formally making each and every one of you my new best friends!!! Thankyoooo!
Regards Keira xx
Aug 4th 2007, 9:35 am
#53
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Mother Land.
Posts: 14,858
Re: Okay...Reality check time...
We live in a village near Wellingborough. Thankyou!
I have thought about it plenty. I am going to look at it as a big adventure. I appreciate your thoughts.
Thankyou. Gosh everyone is so helpful and understanding on this site! I love it!!!
I really get what you're saying Penguinsix. It makes alot of sense. I am by nature quite a negative person. The glass is half empty etc etc. But in this case i am determined to look at it as an opportunity. One that doesn't come around every day. And hey! there's always the happy bods on BE to run to if i start feeling a bit iffy!!!
I live near Wellingborough. Not that far from Corby really. (I've got to agree with you about the shithole bit, unfortunately!) My sister went to Nene College too! What a small world hey?
Thankyou!! I like a good positive viewpoint! IT's sooo uplifting! I'm slowly learning to be more optimistic!
Wise words indeed! We are looking at it as 4 years to start with, and then take it as it comes. My husband is making sure he keeps all his UK benefits (ie pension etc) so we don't completely lose our UK identities.
Thanks for your advice.
Near Wellingborough,, don;t want to post exact location for obvious reasons. Didn't grow up here though. Have lived all over the place! Quite a traveller me!!
Just wanted to say a big thankyou to everyone who posted. You are all a valuable source of comfort and information! I am formally making each and every one of you my new best friends!!! Thankyoooo!
Regards Keira xx
I have thought about it plenty. I am going to look at it as a big adventure. I appreciate your thoughts.
Thankyou. Gosh everyone is so helpful and understanding on this site! I love it!!!
I really get what you're saying Penguinsix. It makes alot of sense. I am by nature quite a negative person. The glass is half empty etc etc. But in this case i am determined to look at it as an opportunity. One that doesn't come around every day. And hey! there's always the happy bods on BE to run to if i start feeling a bit iffy!!!
I live near Wellingborough. Not that far from Corby really. (I've got to agree with you about the shithole bit, unfortunately!) My sister went to Nene College too! What a small world hey?
Thankyou!! I like a good positive viewpoint! IT's sooo uplifting! I'm slowly learning to be more optimistic!
Wise words indeed! We are looking at it as 4 years to start with, and then take it as it comes. My husband is making sure he keeps all his UK benefits (ie pension etc) so we don't completely lose our UK identities.
Thanks for your advice.
Near Wellingborough,, don;t want to post exact location for obvious reasons. Didn't grow up here though. Have lived all over the place! Quite a traveller me!!
Just wanted to say a big thankyou to everyone who posted. You are all a valuable source of comfort and information! I am formally making each and every one of you my new best friends!!! Thankyoooo!
Regards Keira xx
Aug 4th 2007, 1:09 pm
#57
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 5,763
Re: Okay...Reality check time...
I live near Wellingborough. Not that far from Corby really. (I've got to agree with you about the shithole bit, unfortunately!) My sister went to Nene College too! What a small world hey?
Just wanted to say a big thankyou to everyone who posted. You are all a valuable source of comfort and information! I am formally making each and every one of you my new best friends!!! Thankyoooo!
Regards Keira xx
Just wanted to say a big thankyou to everyone who posted. You are all a valuable source of comfort and information! I am formally making each and every one of you my new best friends!!! Thankyoooo!
Regards Keira xx
That would be too spooky!And you are more than welcome.
