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Okay...Reality check time...

Okay...Reality check time...

Old Aug 3rd 2007, 7:34 pm
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Default Okay...Reality check time...

THE DREAM: So when hubbie announced we were relocating to the US, the initial reaction was "Great! Big house, better weather, wide open spaces, cute accents, being cool coz we have a different accent, Hollywood He-men built to serve and protect, blah blah blah..."

A couple of weeks later and reality finally dawns. (With a little help from the BE faithful!)

THE REALITY: No chance of mortgage due to zero credit score, stories of -20 winter temperatures endlessly circulating the cyber-highway, mountains of form-filling and identity struggles looming ominously, the terrifying knowledge of the US health service (or lack of it) raising my blood pressure, knowing that once we're over the pond i won't be able to work, and now worrying myself sick that someones gonna tell me i won't even be able to drive either!! (Please don't anybody tell me I won't be able to drive...that would be a final nail in the Yankee Coffin>) If I can't take my daughter to school and pick her up at the end of the day, I may as well go and lick the end of a live plug socket. (But now I'm burdened with the knowledge that the US electricity supply is as weak as cold tea!)

Is it normal to feel like this, when only last week I was over the moon about it all. There really is no American Dream is there? I'm really worried that I personally (not my hubbie, coz his job is so good) may be far, far better off in the UK. At present I don't have to work, we have a nice big house, I've got my own BMW which I drive my daughter to school in, and I can do pretty much anything I want. Come on, this is not going to be possible in the great US of A is it????

Shit...
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 7:50 pm
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Default Re: Okay...Reality check time...

All quite normal emotions me dear!!! I won't lie though, not being able to work is a bit tough but the key will be to keep yourself busy.
I don't think there is any reason why you won't be able to drive?
Where are you moving too?
Try looking at meetup.com and see if there are any Expat groups in your new location, or clubs etc.... If there is...sign up and get to know these people online before you get here, that way you won't feel so cut off and will already have made some connections
Volunteering is a great way to meet people too, at the local chamber of commerce etc... (tourist info) or if you like animals most shelters always need dog walkers etc...
Just some ideas, tried and tested!
Ya got to get out and immerse yourself to survive and begin adjusting IMO otherwise you can go balmy!!!
Good luck you always have the BE family too
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 7:51 pm
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Default Re: Okay...Reality check time...

We came here expecting little...ended up with more than we need stuff wise....
Had our ups and downs...gone through the love hate thing with the USA..came out the other side...happy most of the time to be a Brit living in the USA...problems do seem bigger here for some reason...we've had more than our share...but so far we have done a lot better here than we would of in the UK...mostly because we have too...nothing to fall back on...in the UK we just sailed along...here we plan....

We live on one wage...not a great one...we own 2 homes a few cars....maybe not large show homes or cars....but good enough....after nearly losing everything twice in the last few years....I'm now happy with what I have....
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 7:51 pm
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Default Re: Okay...Reality check time...

1. Where are you moving to?

2. Is he being transferred over on an H1-B visa?

3. You can always find a mortgage over here, have to put down a deposit and will pay a higher rate, but you'll get it.

4. If he has a good job, company will pay for healthcare.


It is a tad daunting, and you will feel like a fish out of water for a while, but you'll eventually settle down

Welcome.
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 8:07 pm
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Default Re: Okay...Reality check time...

Originally Posted by Redlippie View Post
1. Where are you moving to?
Chicago suburbs. (Hubbie will be working in Buffalo Grove.)
2. Is he being transferred over on an H1-B visa?
No, I think he said it an L1A, whatever that means.
3. You can always find a mortgage over here, have to put down a deposit and will pay a higher rate, but you'll get it.

4. If he has a good job, company will pay for healthcare.


It is a tad daunting, and you will feel like a fish out of water for a while, but you'll eventually settle down
Thankyou Redlippie. One minute I'm excited, the next I'm terrified!
Welcome.
Originally Posted by Tbag View Post
All quite normal emotions me dear!!! I won't lie though, not being able to work is a bit tough but the key will be to keep yourself busy.
I don't think there is any reason why you won't be able to drive?
Where are you moving too?
Try looking at meetup.com and see if there are any Expat groups in your new location, or clubs etc.... If there is...sign up and get to know these people online before you get here, that way you won't feel so cut off and will already have made some connections
Volunteering is a great way to meet people too, at the local chamber of commerce etc... (tourist info) or if you like animals most shelters always need dog walkers etc...
Just some ideas, tried and tested!
Ya got to get out and immerse yourself to survive and begin adjusting IMO otherwise you can go balmy!!!
Good luck you always have the BE family too
Thanks Tbag. Were moving to Chicago area. I read on here earlier that someone was having difficulty applying for a driving license. I have a uK driving license but I'm worried I either won't get insurance because I'm foreign or because my British license won't qualify me to drive in the States???
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 8:20 pm
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Default Re: Okay...Reality check time...

My advice ..take a 200 tog duvet with you ....
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 8:21 pm
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Default Re: Okay...Reality check time...

I was in Chicago for a while with work, I am sure you will like it as it has a bit of everything!
There is also an Expat group there huge one 200 plus members, they meet monthly give it a look
And you have a rail system too, allot of places here don't especially if your in the smaller cites.

Others will be along to give you the driving info you need, or you can do a search on it in here too.

We all go through the back and forth, quite normal even after we have been here for donkeys years like me!!!

Do your homework on Chicago about things that interest you and get familiar with the place. There are others on here around your neck of the woods that Im sure will be along to give you some wisdom

Hope your hubby gets insurance package with his work etc... that would be great.....
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 8:32 pm
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Default Re: Okay...Reality check time...

Originally Posted by Ray View Post
My advice ..take a 200 tog duvet with you ....
Thanks for the advice Ray. BTW not all that sure I'm keen on your avatar...but whatever floats your boat!
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 8:35 pm
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Default Re: Okay...Reality check time...

Originally Posted by keira-2007 View Post
Thanks for the advice Ray. BTW not all that sure I'm keen on your avatar...but whatever floats your boat!
It distracted you enough to mention it ...
Float who's boat ... LOL
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 8:40 pm
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Default Re: Okay...Reality check time...

Originally Posted by keira-2007 View Post
THE DREAM: So when hubbie announced we were relocating to the US, the initial reaction was "Great! Big house, better weather, wide open spaces, cute accents, being cool coz we have a different accent, Hollywood He-men built to serve and protect, blah blah blah..."

A couple of weeks later and reality finally dawns. (With a little help from the BE faithful!)

THE REALITY: No chance of mortgage due to zero credit score, stories of -20 winter temperatures endlessly circulating the cyber-highway, mountains of form-filling and identity struggles looming ominously, the terrifying knowledge of the US health service (or lack of it) raising my blood pressure, knowing that once we're over the pond i won't be able to work, and now worrying myself sick that someones gonna tell me i won't even be able to drive either!! (Please don't anybody tell me I won't be able to drive...that would be a final nail in the Yankee Coffin>) If I can't take my daughter to school and pick her up at the end of the day, I may as well go and lick the end of a live plug socket. (But now I'm burdened with the knowledge that the US electricity supply is as weak as cold tea!)

Is it normal to feel like this, when only last week I was over the moon about it all. There really is no American Dream is there? I'm really worried that I personally (not my hubbie, coz his job is so good) may be far, far better off in the UK. At present I don't have to work, we have a nice big house, I've got my own BMW which I drive my daughter to school in, and I can do pretty much anything I want. Come on, this is not going to be possible in the great US of A is it????

Shit...
Nope.. dont come stay where you are
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 8:45 pm
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Default Re: Okay...Reality check time...

Originally Posted by southern comfort View Post
Nope.. dont come stay where you are
Thanks for that...I think?
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 8:46 pm
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Default Re: Okay...Reality check time...

There's no denying Chicago is cold in the winter.

On the upside, you're moving to one of the better places in the country. Chicago itself has a vibrant diverse community. You will be allowed to drive, and you should be able to get permission to work (after those five pounds of paperwork are done and dusted) as the wife of an L-1.

If you own a home in the UK and have equity in that home, you may be able to make a hefty down payment on a house here, and housing costs are far less than in the UK. If your mortgage total is low, having a higher rate isn't going to hurt as much, and paying that mortgage will raise your credit score.

You will be able to drive and in fact will have to do so if you live in the 'burbs.

How have you coped with change in the past? That may be the best predictor of your future.
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 8:47 pm
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Default Re: Okay...Reality check time...

Originally Posted by keira-2007 View Post
THE DREAM: So when hubbie announced we were relocating to the US, the initial reaction was "Great! Big house, better weather, wide open spaces, cute accents, being cool coz we have a different accent, Hollywood He-men built to serve and protect, blah blah blah..."

A couple of weeks later and reality finally dawns. (With a little help from the BE faithful!)

THE REALITY: No chance of mortgage due to zero credit score, stories of -20 winter temperatures endlessly circulating the cyber-highway, mountains of form-filling and identity struggles looming ominously, the terrifying knowledge of the US health service (or lack of it) raising my blood pressure, knowing that once we're over the pond i won't be able to work, and now worrying myself sick that someones gonna tell me i won't even be able to drive either!! (Please don't anybody tell me I won't be able to drive...that would be a final nail in the Yankee Coffin>) If I can't take my daughter to school and pick her up at the end of the day, I may as well go and lick the end of a live plug socket. (But now I'm burdened with the knowledge that the US electricity supply is as weak as cold tea!)

Is it normal to feel like this, when only last week I was over the moon about it all. There really is no American Dream is there? I'm really worried that I personally (not my hubbie, coz his job is so good) may be far, far better off in the UK. At present I don't have to work, we have a nice big house, I've got my own BMW which I drive my daughter to school in, and I can do pretty much anything I want. Come on, this is not going to be possible in the great US of A is it????

Shit...
The standard of American Jazz Mags is really quite woeful too.
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 8:47 pm
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Default Re: Okay...Reality check time...

Then you need to factor in no marmite . sucky bread, no curries fish n chips , good tea, shitty tv, lousy banking, crap houses,bad drivers,crutty cars, etc etc etc......hang on what the hell are lots of us doing over here ?
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 8:55 pm
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Default Re: Okay...Reality check time...

Keira, you sound as if you really enjoy your life in the UK -- would you move if it weren't for your husband's job?

This is a dilemma faced by people the world over and what's "best" for one spouse can come at the expense of the other.

If you are truly happy where you are, and don't handle change well, I'd sit down and talk to your husband about it. If you don't feel you either want a challenge, or don't need to move.... then I think you will regret it.
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