Okay...Reality check time...
Aug 3rd 2007, 11:44 pm
#31
who turned out the light?
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: WA
Posts: 7,997
Re: Okay...Reality check time...
Aug 3rd 2007, 11:50 pm
#35
Powder Maggot
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: Nuevo Mexico
Posts: 4,452
Re: Okay...Reality check time...
American Dream? The clue is in the word 'Dream'. 
Aug 3rd 2007, 11:52 pm
#36
MODERATOR
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Hong Kong, mostly.
Posts: 5,214
Re: Okay...Reality check time...
Keira, you sound as if you really enjoy your life in the UK -- would you move if it weren't for your husband's job?
This is a dilemma faced by people the world over and what's "best" for one spouse can come at the expense of the other.
If you are truly happy where you are, and don't handle change well, I'd sit down and talk to your husband about it. If you don't feel you either want a challenge, or don't need to move.... then I think you will regret it.
This is a dilemma faced by people the world over and what's "best" for one spouse can come at the expense of the other.
If you are truly happy where you are, and don't handle change well, I'd sit down and talk to your husband about it. If you don't feel you either want a challenge, or don't need to move.... then I think you will regret it.
I'd caution you also to take everything said here with a grain of salt. Many people who post here are not happy. This a way of relief for many to just vent. For every British Expat on these boards there are probably 1,000 who have never logged on.
I think I mentioned it before--but I should probably repeat after your post--you REALLY need to come at this with an open mind. You can't come in 'looking for the negative' because ('ta-da') you will find it. You're not in the UK anymore, so making comparisons to 'back home' (which will become rosier and rosier and rosier every day you are away) just builds and builds to the point that you have every negative thing you can possibly think of = USA and every thing that is right and perfect in the world = UK.
You won't think back about the time you stepped in dog crap in a park when you are thinking of the UK, but when you do it in the US (and you are already feeling pretty upset about this that and the other thing) it just another example of why the US is so awful. 'God knows dog's don't take a crap in the UK...' Silly, but you get to that point.
If you can't keep an open mind and take it as it comes, then you really should sit down (now) with the hubby and talk through this. Perhaps coming to some understandings now will be a lot better than when you do so after 3 months of staring at the walls in Chicago.
Aug 3rd 2007, 11:57 pm
#38
who turned out the light?
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: WA
Posts: 7,997
Re: Okay...Reality check time...
This is good advice.
I'd caution you also to take everything said here with a grain of salt.
I think I mentioned it before--but I should probably repeat after your post--you REALLY need to come at this with an open mind. You can't come in 'looking for the negative' because ('ta-da') you will find it. You're not in the UK anymore, so making comparisons to 'back home' (which will become rosier and rosier and rosier every day you are away) just builds and builds to the point that you have every negative thing you can possibly think of = USA and every thing that is right and perfect in the world = UK.
I'd caution you also to take everything said here with a grain of salt.
I think I mentioned it before--but I should probably repeat after your post--you REALLY need to come at this with an open mind. You can't come in 'looking for the negative' because ('ta-da') you will find it. You're not in the UK anymore, so making comparisons to 'back home' (which will become rosier and rosier and rosier every day you are away) just builds and builds to the point that you have every negative thing you can possibly think of = USA and every thing that is right and perfect in the world = UK.
I completely agree IMO if you come here already being negative etc its going to get worse. You need to at least have an open mind and even a positive outlook at the beginning to make it over homesickness and hurdles etc.
Last edited by Irn-bru; Aug 4th 2007 at 12:03 am.
Aug 3rd 2007, 11:59 pm
#39
Account Closed
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 15,019
Re: Okay...Reality check time...
This is good advice.
I'd caution you also to take everything said here with a grain of salt. Many people who post here are not happy. This a way of relief for many to just vent. For every British Expat on these boards there are probably 1,000 who have never logged on.
I think I mentioned it before--but I should probably repeat after your post--you REALLY need to come at this with an open mind. You can't come in 'looking for the negative' because ('ta-da') you will find it. You're not in the UK anymore, so making comparisons to 'back home' (which will become rosier and rosier and rosier every day you are away) just builds and builds to the point that you have every negative thing you can possibly think of = USA and every thing that is right and perfect in the world = UK.
You won't think back about the time you stepped in dog crap in a park when you are thinking of the UK, but when you do it in the US (and you are already feeling pretty upset about this that and the other thing) it just another example of why the US is so awful. 'God knows dog's don't take a crap in the UK...' Silly, but you get to that point.
If you can't keep an open mind and take it as it comes, then you really should sit down (now) with the hubby and talk through this. Perhaps coming to some understandings now will be a lot better than when you do so after 3 months of staring at the walls in Chicago.
I'd caution you also to take everything said here with a grain of salt. Many people who post here are not happy. This a way of relief for many to just vent. For every British Expat on these boards there are probably 1,000 who have never logged on.
I think I mentioned it before--but I should probably repeat after your post--you REALLY need to come at this with an open mind. You can't come in 'looking for the negative' because ('ta-da') you will find it. You're not in the UK anymore, so making comparisons to 'back home' (which will become rosier and rosier and rosier every day you are away) just builds and builds to the point that you have every negative thing you can possibly think of = USA and every thing that is right and perfect in the world = UK.
You won't think back about the time you stepped in dog crap in a park when you are thinking of the UK, but when you do it in the US (and you are already feeling pretty upset about this that and the other thing) it just another example of why the US is so awful. 'God knows dog's don't take a crap in the UK...' Silly, but you get to that point.
If you can't keep an open mind and take it as it comes, then you really should sit down (now) with the hubby and talk through this. Perhaps coming to some understandings now will be a lot better than when you do so after 3 months of staring at the walls in Chicago.
that is good advice!
to the OP...i came here with an open mind and positive outlook, it's the only way!
Aug 4th 2007, 12:00 am
#40
Not living a 9 to 5 life
Joined: Jun 2002
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 11,061
Re: Okay...Reality check time...
At 13 you were a kid and hopefully you're older and wiser now. Plus, no doubt the US has changed plenty too.
Aug 4th 2007, 1:17 am
#41
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 5,763
Re: Okay...Reality check time...
Hey Keira, I wanted to ask about the Northants thing too. I went to Nene College, as it was way back then 
, lived in Kingsthorpe and Kingsthorpe Village, then ended up working in that shithole Corby. 
, lived in Kingsthorpe and Kingsthorpe Village, then ended up working in that shithole Corby.
Aug 4th 2007, 1:20 am
#42
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Mar 2004
Location: Chicago, Il
Posts: 1,320
Re: Okay...Reality check time...
Corby as in... just south east of Loughborough?
I went to Uni at Loughborough, had friends down in Corby... they seemed to like it there.
I went to Uni at Loughborough, had friends down in Corby... they seemed to like it there.
Aug 4th 2007, 1:32 am
#43
Pom tiddly pom
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: Plano, TX
Posts: 134
Re: Okay...Reality check time...
THE DREAM: So when hubbie announced we were relocating to the US, the initial reaction was "Great! Big house, better weather, wide open spaces, cute accents, being cool coz we have a different accent, Hollywood He-men built to serve and protect, blah blah blah..."
A couple of weeks later and reality finally dawns. (With a little help from the BE faithful!)
....
Shit...
A couple of weeks later and reality finally dawns. (With a little help from the BE faithful!)
....
Shit...
You only live once --- go for it! If it's pants, then you can go home again. For what it's worth, right now I don't think it's pants. I think it's worked out for us (touch wood), and I"m glad we did make that move (I had to quit my career -- I was previously the major wage earner -- as I was a H4) but, had I been allowed to work, I think the previous 4 years would have been easier. I've been very very low at times. But I've also had some amazing adventures, and I think that as a family we are much better off in terms of the time we have with each other, and the the lifestyle. (we now have Green Cards & I am able to work).
Just remember that it IS a foreign country, quite, quite foreign, and expect the differences, even though we speak the same language (well, that's a whole other post, actually, not sure how similar the language actually is).
As wife of an L1, you'll not be so cut off and powerless as you'll be able to get your EAD.
Chicago was recently described to me, just a month ago, (by a Serbian man serving me a Mojito in a bar in the island of Skiathos, Greece, and wanting to move to Chicago) as the most European city in the US.
He'd never been, but that is what people he knew who lived there said ... erm... so I'm sure it's reliable advice!!
You only live once - let us know how it turns out!
Aug 4th 2007, 3:37 am
#44
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 35,082
Re: Okay...Reality check time...
This is good advice.
I'd caution you also to take everything said here with a grain of salt. Many people who post here are not happy. This a way of relief for many to just vent. For every British Expat on these boards there are probably 1,000 who have never logged on.
I'd caution you also to take everything said here with a grain of salt. Many people who post here are not happy. This a way of relief for many to just vent. For every British Expat on these boards there are probably 1,000 who have never logged on.
There are a million and one "American Dreams".. what is *yours*?
What is the worst thing that can happen.. you try it out and it doesn't work out.. it isn't forever.
I am constantly perturbed by any number of things I read here because they are so far out of whack with our experience. My UKC husband wouldn't go back if you paid him. There are thousands of Brits living in our city and region and we *never* run into a one.. why? They don't hang together here.. it's a whole different way of life, I guess. There's the odd "pubby" restaurant, but Brits in the Pacific NW don't seem to be gagging to get together, so keep it all in perspective, and just *allow* for the fact that you might really like it! It will be different, but if it were all the same, well, why bother. There will always be good with the bad, and you'll probably find just what you are looking for (ie, attitude counts).
Of course it's scary to move, but you are on to a great adventure.. enjoy!
