Need your support and some thoughts
 

I'm sorry i'm not very original here but i can't figure it out myself.
I'm very optimistic person usually, but last 4 months I've been rather
unhappy with no visible reason for it rather than..homesickness..
I live in a beautiful place,have a great OH,have a job, but every morning i'm trying to pull myself out of the bed and wonder where the old myself go?
I feel guilty because the saying "home is where you heart" isn't really working on me.My heart-my husb is here but still i feel so out of place.:curse:
Does anyone have the same feeling of guilt when u have ur perfect life here and it doesn't make you happy?

Sorry i don't know if it makes any sense

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Oh of course it makes sence, most of us have been through what your feeling now. Welcome to BE anyway Kida :)

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Thx!I've just been going crazy lately having all this in my head

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Four months is such a short period of time; the first few weeks one is so busy doing things that once the initial euphoria is over, things seem a bit flat. I think most expats - or certainly expat women - have gone through this and it's called "culture shock"....google it and you may realise you have it!

Try St. John's Wort (should be able to find it in Wholefoods) and that may lift your spirits. (Warning; do check if you can take it if you're on the Pill...) :blink:


http://myglobalcoach.com/_wsn/page8.html

and an article an expat wrote on this very same website about culture shock:

http://britishexpats.com/articles/fa...-homesickness/

Hope it helps! We've all been there and after nearly 13 years of living overseas (Singapore and US) I still get bouts of homesickness.....

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Before resorting to happy pill's "and dont think you can do with out them", try some St Johns Wort :) All thanks to our lovely mod on here JG "I think she's got shares in the company":sneaky: but they really do something thats for sure.

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Hello and welcome to BE. :)

You've been through the 'honeymoon' period and reality is setting in. Most of us have been in your position...I use St John's Wort and find it really helps lift those blues.

Anyway you've found us now...so when you're feeling a little down just log in here there's usually someone around to chat to. Whereabouts are you in the US? There may be some members who live nearby.

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

I think homesickness seems to come and go (for me anyway) I can be fine for a good few months then horribly homesick for a while. Any chance of a trip home? That would give you something to look forward to. If it's any consolation I fee slightly out of place wherever I live ;)

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Thx guys!It really helps to know that i'm not weird feeling like this.

I've been living here for almost a year and this "unhappyness" started on the 8th month, before that everything was great.And nothing caused it i was perfectly fine and then one morning i woke up feeling strange and now here I am.

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

The reality had set in that you was here for the long haul :( and are you?

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Bleedin women ..you give them a nice kitchen ...and still they moan ...

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Yep it's how we are:)
Sometimes i wish that everything was that simple as having a nice kitchen,
but it's not..What also bothers me is that I thought i was strong and when i moved here the word homesickness wasn't even anywhere close in my head.
But then it hits u really hard and u don't understand what is going on.
I just though, maybe i should write a book about it?!:)

Just one more question for you guys: how long does it generally take till u start feeling normal again.(i know it's v personal, but still)

thx again everyone!

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

It's a horrible feeling, i felt like i was missing out back home all the time but everyone there was envious of what i was doing. After my first visit back to the UK I felt a lot more settled although I still had bouts of feeling homesick. Having been back in the UK for 18 months I am really missing the US, probably more than I did the UK, I have been back to the US 4 times as I work as a self employed consultant for the company still and they want me back, each time was great and I felt like i was home again, I'm just so concerned about feeling what i felt before and the huge wrench again as this time it will only be myself and my son and i'd be leaving someone behind to.

Maybe a visit back to the UK would help you, you might be suprised how much you miss being in the US.

Kit

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Well when some of us or most of us have felt like you do now, it seem's to take 2 to 3 year's and you battle on or give up, I've given up after 5 years now, long enough to know I'll never settle, so we are returning home next month :)

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

That's pretty much how I feel. On the whole I manage to 'keep happy' because I go back home at least twice a year, and I know that it's not forever.

Being married to 'one of them' is of course different, because it could indeed turn out forever. One thing I would advise to the OP is not to have children until she is sure that she would be happy staying here until they are grown up. I have read too many stories of women being trapped in a place that makes them unhappy, without any hope of being able to return while the children are under age.

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Yeah I'm married to an american and NO children (as you said till i figure stuff out).I really like it here logically, but the problem is that the feelings are playing tricky game with my head.I keep thinking of this place as the one where i'm gonna live for a while and..it hurts.

I went home not long ago, hoped that i would immediately miss US, but nope
everything felt familiar and mine.
I was even ok with the negatives because i didn't expect them to change.
What I really hoped is that coming back here i will look at everything with different eyes.Well i did and i didn't.
Funny never knew i've been so attached to my previous life/home.

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

My kitchen is closed...I have a sign up to prove it. My next house will not have a kitchen...it's a waste of space.

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Where are you in the US?

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

:lol: what a good idea.

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Illinoi, Chicago

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Are you working ?

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

good luck with your emotions kida, it's tough i know. i've been here almost 6 long years:eek:

luckily i go home a few times each year, have to for my sanity and each time i go back reminds me of the life i'm missing. this life here is not forever for me thank god!

where are you in the USA?

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

yes i'm a graphic designer, i'm freelanceing at the mom

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Well!! there you go ..another few months your gonna freeze
to death .. problem solved ...

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

i hope the freezing starts from my brain;)

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Nah !!! nipples go first ....

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

yeah right!:rofl:

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Ah, but at least you are in a civilised place!

Chicago is one of my favourite cities. I love the Art Institute, and they have a really good opera house and a world renowned symphony orchestra.

:)

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

And BigdavyG is there.....

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Last seen heading for Bermuda... I wonder what the lad is doing there all by himself :lol:

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Who said he was alone?

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

What do you know... :sneaky:

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Been here about 18 months now. There are still things I miss (pie & peas and decent fish & chips). I'm happy enough to stay here, but I'd also be happy enough going home. The exchange rate and still rising house prices in the UK make that unlikely though.

Not pining for the fjords just yet, but I'd go nuts if I didn't get back to the UK at least twice a years for some decent grub and beer that doesn't freeze your lip to the glass.

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

ahh but is he :sneaky:

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Can i give you three words of advice?


DON'T MOVE HOME, DON'T MOVE HOME, DON'T MOVE HOME, DON'T MOVE HOME, DON'T MOVE HOME, DON'T MOVE HOME, DON'T MOVE HOME,DON'T MOVE HOME, DON'T MOVE HOME, DON'T MOVE HOME, DON'T MOVE HOME, DON'T MOVE HOME, DON'T MOVE HOME, DON'T MOVE HOME

Seriously. Don't. I did and i kick myself in the head every da*n day.

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

:rolleyes: as if I'm going to take any notice of all your shouting.

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Maybe what women want is a new man, preferably a younger model.:D:

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Totally agree with you all- Chicago is a great place 2 be.
And i felt great here at the very beginning but then it started feeling like my parents forgot to pick me up from the summer camp:huh:

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

exactly, the holiday is over and now reality has kicked in.

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

Your husband ain't that old ... Is he not satifying you ....

Re: Need your support and some thoughts
 

I agree. I loved San Francisco having visited many times over several years and then moved and lived there. Great place to visit but to live it just didn't click. 2 years later I moved to the East Coast and bingo .....love it! Have been here for 10 years and can't see myself moving home unless it was for 6 months there, 6 months here (ideal world).

Homesickness comes and goes and I think we can all relate to you Kida.

My dad has lived in England for 49 years and still gets home for Scotland....and he only lives 2 hours away! He can't listen to anything remotely Scottish without getting a tear in his eye. Quite sweet really. He won't move back though.

It is hard but give it time Kida.