Joint Accounts
Aug 10th 2005, 11:38 am
#61
C.G.D.S
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Ireland--->London--->Spain--->Rockport, MA
Posts: 3,353
Re: Joint Accounts
Originally Posted by Russ&Jayne
Puzzled cos you always said you had bought the house you lived in in your name only when you moved to Mass and he paid the bills. I only remember cos I was buying a getaway near Rockport myself. Anyways, I agree with everyone here. Tell him to bog off and get out yourself when it's possible. Good Luck.
Anyway, thanks for the support everyone. I'm sure I'll get it sorted out with my ideal being that I manage to fix something up when I go back to London for a visit next month.
Aug 10th 2005, 12:32 pm
#62
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2004
Location: UK to PA
Posts: 281
Re: Joint Accounts
Originally Posted by sibsie
The lease was in my name alone when we were renting and the plan was that we buy the place we were in at the time. He was chipping in with bills (electricity etc.,) Halfway through sorting it all out and when the lease was coming to an end, he decided that we had to move back to his place at the farm. When I moved out here it was on the understanding that we get a place of our own and not be living in the basement with the MIL upstairs.
Anyway, thanks for the support everyone. I'm sure I'll get it sorted out with my ideal being that I manage to fix something up when I go back to London for a visit next month.
Anyway, thanks for the support everyone. I'm sure I'll get it sorted out with my ideal being that I manage to fix something up when I go back to London for a visit next month.
If you are planning to go back to London next month, buy yourself some time by telling him that you will shop around for the best exchange rate deal when you are in London. I am not sure what the exchange rate is now but I think it has dropped from what it was try using this as an excuse to leave it where it is for now until the rate increases again.
Aug 10th 2005, 1:07 pm
#63
@matthewb76
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Missouri
Posts: 21,886
Re: Joint Accounts
Just when you think you know someone, and think they have their shit together..........
holy cow Sibs........
this sounds like Sleeping with the Enemy and you're about to swim for it.
I do think you guys need to have a bit of a sit down and a chit chat.
explain to him..........
a) Everything is joint or nothing is joint.
b) If you want something cleaned a certain way, then he has to do it.
c) if he ever utters the word "inspection" or "baseboard" again, then a swift knee will protrude his bollock area.
and see how that pans out.
holy cow Sibs........
this sounds like Sleeping with the Enemy and you're about to swim for it.
I do think you guys need to have a bit of a sit down and a chit chat.
explain to him..........
a) Everything is joint or nothing is joint.
b) If you want something cleaned a certain way, then he has to do it.
c) if he ever utters the word "inspection" or "baseboard" again, then a swift knee will protrude his bollock area.
and see how that pans out.
Aug 10th 2005, 1:20 pm
#64
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,113
Re: Joint Accounts
Sorry to hear about your problems sibsie. Sounds like a serious sit down or just plain leaving is in order.
Aug 10th 2005, 1:26 pm
#65
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Joint Accounts
Originally Posted by Manc
Just when you think you know someone, and think they have their shit together..........
holy cow Sibs........
this sounds like Sleeping with the Enemy and you're about to swim for it.
I do think you guys need to have a bit of a sit down and a chit chat.
explain to him..........
a) Everything is joint or nothing is joint.
b) If you want something cleaned a certain way, then he has to do it.
c) if he ever utters the word "inspection" or "baseboard" again, then a swift knee will protrude his bollock area.
and see how that pans out.
holy cow Sibs........
this sounds like Sleeping with the Enemy and you're about to swim for it.
I do think you guys need to have a bit of a sit down and a chit chat.
explain to him..........
a) Everything is joint or nothing is joint.
b) If you want something cleaned a certain way, then he has to do it.
c) if he ever utters the word "inspection" or "baseboard" again, then a swift knee will protrude his bollock area.
and see how that pans out.
Aug 10th 2005, 1:55 pm
#66
WTF?
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Homeostasis
Posts: 79,367
Re: Joint Accounts
Originally Posted by sibsie
He wants the house to stay in his name along with all his assets. He said if I bring my money over then we have have a joint current account which I'm not especially keen on as he's a bit of a control freak. Things aren't especially fantastic so I want my money as emergency exit money if needs be. He reckons we don't have a "proper" marriage until I've done it so I'm under quite a bit of pressure 
Aug 10th 2005, 2:05 pm
#67
WTF?
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Homeostasis
Posts: 79,367
Re: Joint Accounts
Originally Posted by sibsie
He doesn't have any weird habits that I know of. His ex took him for thousands as well as two houses in his last divorce and I think he went overboard on secreting things away. Whatever the reason, my instinct is telling me to get my arse back home, which is really what I'm planning, though I have to be very skulduggerous in my skulduggery.
The money thing I can probably fend off a while longer, but having to fold his bathtowel in a certain way, clean everything with an SOS pad (WTF) and be ready for baseboard inspection when he walks in, isn't something I can fend off long term. I so wish I was exaggerating.
The money thing I can probably fend off a while longer, but having to fold his bathtowel in a certain way, clean everything with an SOS pad (WTF) and be ready for baseboard inspection when he walks in, isn't something I can fend off long term. I so wish I was exaggerating.
Don't feel ashamed or embarrassed either, Sibs. It happens to the best of us.
Aug 10th 2005, 2:34 pm
#68
Septicity
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 23,762
Re: Joint Accounts
Originally Posted by Leslie66
Don't walk.... run. :scared:
Aug 10th 2005, 2:51 pm
#69
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2004
Location: Mid West >> UK
Posts: 1,239
Re: Joint Accounts
What a crap situation Sibs, I'm thinking of you. If the main reason you are staying is because of the cat is there someone that could take it to see the 6 months through?
If the main reason you are staying is because of the cat is there someone that could take it to see the 6 months through?
Aug 10th 2005, 2:54 pm
#70
WTF?
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Homeostasis
Posts: 79,367
Re: Joint Accounts
Originally Posted by fatbrit
Agree -- but not till after talking to the lawyer and getting his take.
Sibs, It sounds like you feel powerless but that is in illusion. You have a lot of options. You just need to get yourself out of the situation of isolation.
I'm sorry, hon. I really am.
Aug 10th 2005, 2:57 pm
#71
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Joint Accounts
Originally Posted by Leslie66
Absolutely. She can go out and hire an American attorney and start protecting herself.
Sibs, It sounds like you feel powerless but that is in illusion. You have a lot of options. You just need to get yourself out of the situation of isolation.
I'm sorry, hon. I really am.
Sibs, It sounds like you feel powerless but that is in illusion. You have a lot of options. You just need to get yourself out of the situation of isolation.
I'm sorry, hon. I really am.
Wait for the next "inspection", kick him in the nuts, claim self defence and take him for what you can.
Option 2)
Get a load of us lot up there to say Hi to him and "explain" to him where he is going wrong treating you like this.
Option 3)
Contact a lawyer fast, and get the hell out. (least fun but most practical)
Last edited by ImHere; Aug 10th 2005 at 3:00 pm.
Aug 10th 2005, 2:58 pm
#72
I'm back!
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Richmond, VA, USA
Posts: 4,316
Re: Joint Accounts
Originally Posted by Manc
holy cow Sibs........
this sounds like Sleeping with the Enemy and you're about to swim for it.
this sounds like Sleeping with the Enemy and you're about to swim for it.
Something definitely doesn't seem right, and I think whatever you need to do for self-preservation should be your first priority at this point, even if it is not the easiest path to take. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you choose to do.
~ Jenney
Aug 10th 2005, 3:07 pm
#73
Septicity
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 23,762
Re: Joint Accounts
Originally Posted by Leslie66
Absolutely. She can go out and hire an American attorney and start protecting herself.
Also, make sure you clear the cache regularly on your computer. This is as good a program as any to do it: http://www.ccleaner.com/
Last edited by fatbrit; Aug 10th 2005 at 3:10 pm. Reason: Spulling
Aug 10th 2005, 3:17 pm
#74
Sursum corda
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Richmond Hill, GA USA
Posts: 38,860
Re: Joint Accounts
Originally Posted by fatbrit
Also, looking at the town on Google and the fact that hubby and the inlaws are presumably well entrenched in the local social scene, would seek an attorney away from the immediate area.
Also, make sure you clear the cache regularly on your computer. This is as good a program as any to do it: http://www.ccleaner.com/
Also, make sure you clear the cache regularly on your computer. This is as good a program as any to do it: http://www.ccleaner.com/
Two VERY good points made FB!!
I dare say from what I know as a New Englander-that there is an old boy network there big time and the connection extends into Beantown, believe me. I would go with consulting a NON WASP firm in order to avoid the Brahmins, IF it should come to that.
Aug 10th 2005, 6:52 pm
#75
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: East Seaxe
Posts: 72,545
Re: Joint Accounts
Originally Posted by sibsie
I wanted to get other people's opinions so I could fend him off with some good arguments. If it was as easy as just telling him "no" then I really wouldn't bother discussing it with anyone.
Sibsie, when someone (him) is in an irrational state, there are no "good arguments". Answer one thing, and they will just change the terms of the argument on you. Believe me, I know whereof I speak.
With your level of doubt about the viability of your marriage - and with very good reason from what you've said - a) don't give him your money and b) prepare your exit plan in case you need one in a hurry.
If you want to talk it out - well here we all are. The man definitely sounds as though he has some sort of severe psychological issue. This is a)not your fault b)not your responsibility and c) is something you need to protect yourself from.
Sounds so easy when I say it like that, doesn't it. I know it isn't, believe me.