Feeling very down about the whole thing
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: From a beautiful part of Scotland, now in Colorado
Posts: 265
Feeling very down about the whole thing
Hi,
OH and I are expecting to move to Colorado in the next 6-8 weeks. I'm the trailing spouse. We've known about this for a good while, it's taken an age to get the paperwork sorted out, and we're now at the stage of starting to pack up our lives here in the UK.
At the moment I'm feeling really down about the whole thing, and at the same time I feel guilty because I know it's an opportunity that others would give their teeth for. Is it normal to feel like this? People say to me 'you must be so excited', but I'm not, and even though I'm certainly interested, I've not felt excited at all. Doesn't help that I'm overwhelmed by the amount we've got to do before moving, and I'm still having to maintain normality every day at work (they don't know yet).
I suppose I'm a bit daunted by the whole thing. I feel like I'm giving up my whole life to move to a place I've spent precisely 3 days in, know no one, and haven't the first clue what I'm going to do with myself when I get there.
Did anyone else feel like this before their move?
Thanks
OH and I are expecting to move to Colorado in the next 6-8 weeks. I'm the trailing spouse. We've known about this for a good while, it's taken an age to get the paperwork sorted out, and we're now at the stage of starting to pack up our lives here in the UK.
At the moment I'm feeling really down about the whole thing, and at the same time I feel guilty because I know it's an opportunity that others would give their teeth for. Is it normal to feel like this? People say to me 'you must be so excited', but I'm not, and even though I'm certainly interested, I've not felt excited at all. Doesn't help that I'm overwhelmed by the amount we've got to do before moving, and I'm still having to maintain normality every day at work (they don't know yet).
I suppose I'm a bit daunted by the whole thing. I feel like I'm giving up my whole life to move to a place I've spent precisely 3 days in, know no one, and haven't the first clue what I'm going to do with myself when I get there.
Did anyone else feel like this before their move?
Thanks
#2
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
I have nothing to contribute from my own experience because that's not how I arrived here, however I know that my life saver has been friends.... either virtual or real..... new or existing.
I joined a book club (local library) and groups from www.meetup.com, made sure that I had internet connections for email and web groups and cheap (free) telephone calls overseas (try vonage)
Good luck with the move... Oh I'd like to add that moving anywhere is epic stress, so moving half way round the world is major major stress......
I joined a book club (local library) and groups from www.meetup.com, made sure that I had internet connections for email and web groups and cheap (free) telephone calls overseas (try vonage)
Good luck with the move... Oh I'd like to add that moving anywhere is epic stress, so moving half way round the world is major major stress......
#3
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Plenty of people...it's just life.
Plenty you can do to help yourself out though, being aware of what you might face helps, as you can at least try and plan to do something about it, like that meet up group mentioned above, or joining any other clubs in the area that might interest you.
Plenty you can do to help yourself out though, being aware of what you might face helps, as you can at least try and plan to do something about it, like that meet up group mentioned above, or joining any other clubs in the area that might interest you.
#6
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Becoming an expat can really be overwhelming at times. All those feelings are certainly very valid ones.
#9
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Hi,
OH and I are expecting to move to Colorado in the next 6-8 weeks. I'm the trailing spouse. We've known about this for a good while, it's taken an age to get the paperwork sorted out, and we're now at the stage of starting to pack up our lives here in the UK.
At the moment I'm feeling really down about the whole thing, and at the same time I feel guilty because I know it's an opportunity that others would give their teeth for. Is it normal to feel like this? People say to me 'you must be so excited', but I'm not, and even though I'm certainly interested, I've not felt excited at all. Doesn't help that I'm overwhelmed by the amount we've got to do before moving, and I'm still having to maintain normality every day at work (they don't know yet).
I suppose I'm a bit daunted by the whole thing. I feel like I'm giving up my whole life to move to a place I've spent precisely 3 days in, know no one, and haven't the first clue what I'm going to do with myself when I get there.
Did anyone else feel like this before their move?
Thanks
OH and I are expecting to move to Colorado in the next 6-8 weeks. I'm the trailing spouse. We've known about this for a good while, it's taken an age to get the paperwork sorted out, and we're now at the stage of starting to pack up our lives here in the UK.
At the moment I'm feeling really down about the whole thing, and at the same time I feel guilty because I know it's an opportunity that others would give their teeth for. Is it normal to feel like this? People say to me 'you must be so excited', but I'm not, and even though I'm certainly interested, I've not felt excited at all. Doesn't help that I'm overwhelmed by the amount we've got to do before moving, and I'm still having to maintain normality every day at work (they don't know yet).
I suppose I'm a bit daunted by the whole thing. I feel like I'm giving up my whole life to move to a place I've spent precisely 3 days in, know no one, and haven't the first clue what I'm going to do with myself when I get there.
Did anyone else feel like this before their move?
Thanks
#10
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
i also didnt tell work what was going on for quite some time - in case it all was denied etc(I was trailing spouse too) - and I found the double life very stressful. I was asked to take on special projects and training that would be happening/finishing after i was planning on being gone and had to 'accept' even though i doubted i was not going to be there. I hated the hiding of the truth bit.
It was also an enormous amount of stuff to sort out and we were doing stuff up to the last day so i was so busy. worried to about the kids ate and leaving friends and family behind.
It was also an enormous amount of stuff to sort out and we were doing stuff up to the last day so i was so busy. worried to about the kids ate and leaving friends and family behind.
#11
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 7,605
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
i also didnt tell work what was going on for quite some time - in case it all was denied etc(I was trailing spouse too) - and I found the double life very stressful. I was asked to take on special projects and training that would be happening/finishing after i was planning on being gone and had to 'accept' even though i doubted i was not going to be there. I hated the hiding of the truth bit.
#12
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Hi,
OH and I are expecting to move to Colorado in the next 6-8 weeks. I'm the trailing spouse. We've known about this for a good while, it's taken an age to get the paperwork sorted out, and we're now at the stage of starting to pack up our lives here in the UK.
At the moment I'm feeling really down about the whole thing, and at the same time I feel guilty because I know it's an opportunity that others would give their teeth for. Is it normal to feel like this? People say to me 'you must be so excited', but I'm not, and even though I'm certainly interested, I've not felt excited at all. Doesn't help that I'm overwhelmed by the amount we've got to do before moving, and I'm still having to maintain normality every day at work (they don't know yet).
I suppose I'm a bit daunted by the whole thing. I feel like I'm giving up my whole life to move to a place I've spent precisely 3 days in, know no one, and haven't the first clue what I'm going to do with myself when I get there.
Did anyone else feel like this before their move?
Thanks
OH and I are expecting to move to Colorado in the next 6-8 weeks. I'm the trailing spouse. We've known about this for a good while, it's taken an age to get the paperwork sorted out, and we're now at the stage of starting to pack up our lives here in the UK.
At the moment I'm feeling really down about the whole thing, and at the same time I feel guilty because I know it's an opportunity that others would give their teeth for. Is it normal to feel like this? People say to me 'you must be so excited', but I'm not, and even though I'm certainly interested, I've not felt excited at all. Doesn't help that I'm overwhelmed by the amount we've got to do before moving, and I'm still having to maintain normality every day at work (they don't know yet).
I suppose I'm a bit daunted by the whole thing. I feel like I'm giving up my whole life to move to a place I've spent precisely 3 days in, know no one, and haven't the first clue what I'm going to do with myself when I get there.
Did anyone else feel like this before their move?
Thanks
You will probably feel many emotions during the next few days/weeks/months/years. I find it helps enormously to know that you aren't the only one feeling that way. Which is where BE will help you...there will usually be several if not many people who have experienced the same roller coaster ride you are about to embark on.
It's daunting and frightening...but at least you are giving it a go and we will be around to support and help you.
#13
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Hi,
OH and I are expecting to move to Colorado in the next 6-8 weeks. I'm the trailing spouse. We've known about this for a good while, it's taken an age to get the paperwork sorted out, and we're now at the stage of starting to pack up our lives here in the UK.
At the moment I'm feeling really down about the whole thing, and at the same time I feel guilty because I know it's an opportunity that others would give their teeth for. Is it normal to feel like this? People say to me 'you must be so excited', but I'm not, and even though I'm certainly interested, I've not felt excited at all. Doesn't help that I'm overwhelmed by the amount we've got to do before moving, and I'm still having to maintain normality every day at work (they don't know yet).
I suppose I'm a bit daunted by the whole thing. I feel like I'm giving up my whole life to move to a place I've spent precisely 3 days in, know no one, and haven't the first clue what I'm going to do with myself when I get there.
Did anyone else feel like this before their move?
Thanks
OH and I are expecting to move to Colorado in the next 6-8 weeks. I'm the trailing spouse. We've known about this for a good while, it's taken an age to get the paperwork sorted out, and we're now at the stage of starting to pack up our lives here in the UK.
At the moment I'm feeling really down about the whole thing, and at the same time I feel guilty because I know it's an opportunity that others would give their teeth for. Is it normal to feel like this? People say to me 'you must be so excited', but I'm not, and even though I'm certainly interested, I've not felt excited at all. Doesn't help that I'm overwhelmed by the amount we've got to do before moving, and I'm still having to maintain normality every day at work (they don't know yet).
I suppose I'm a bit daunted by the whole thing. I feel like I'm giving up my whole life to move to a place I've spent precisely 3 days in, know no one, and haven't the first clue what I'm going to do with myself when I get there.
Did anyone else feel like this before their move?
Thanks
Now 16.5 years later I'm ready to pack up and go home (I just need to pack up Dh along with the household stuff)
#14
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Hi,
OH and I are expecting to move to Colorado in the next 6-8 weeks. I'm the trailing spouse. We've known about this for a good while, it's taken an age to get the paperwork sorted out, and we're now at the stage of starting to pack up our lives here in the UK.
At the moment I'm feeling really down about the whole thing, and at the same time I feel guilty because I know it's an opportunity that others would give their teeth for. Is it normal to feel like this? People say to me 'you must be so excited', but I'm not, and even though I'm certainly interested, I've not felt excited at all. Doesn't help that I'm overwhelmed by the amount we've got to do before moving, and I'm still having to maintain normality every day at work (they don't know yet).
I suppose I'm a bit daunted by the whole thing. I feel like I'm giving up my whole life to move to a place I've spent precisely 3 days in, know no one, and haven't the first clue what I'm going to do with myself when I get there.
Did anyone else feel like this before their move?
Thanks
OH and I are expecting to move to Colorado in the next 6-8 weeks. I'm the trailing spouse. We've known about this for a good while, it's taken an age to get the paperwork sorted out, and we're now at the stage of starting to pack up our lives here in the UK.
At the moment I'm feeling really down about the whole thing, and at the same time I feel guilty because I know it's an opportunity that others would give their teeth for. Is it normal to feel like this? People say to me 'you must be so excited', but I'm not, and even though I'm certainly interested, I've not felt excited at all. Doesn't help that I'm overwhelmed by the amount we've got to do before moving, and I'm still having to maintain normality every day at work (they don't know yet).
I suppose I'm a bit daunted by the whole thing. I feel like I'm giving up my whole life to move to a place I've spent precisely 3 days in, know no one, and haven't the first clue what I'm going to do with myself when I get there.
Did anyone else feel like this before their move?
Thanks
Use BE as much as you can and we will get your through. Many of us found it strange and difficult at the beginning ... so come chat with us if you are having a difficult/bad day, and share your good days with us too.
Welcome
#15
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
I suppose I'm a bit daunted by the whole thing. I feel like I'm giving up my whole life to move to a place I've spent precisely 3 days in, know no one, and haven't the first clue what I'm going to do with myself when I get there.
Did anyone else feel like this before their move?
You are stepping into the largely unknown with a considerable amount of the stable bindings of your life being traded for uncertainty. Natural to feel the way you do. You will find plenty of good support here of a first hand we've done that got the t-shirt kind.