Feeling very down about the whole thing
Jan 13th 2010, 1:46 am
#31
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Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 1,544
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Wow, so many replies! It is really reassuring to know that I'm not alone.
I've got an L2 visa, so I will be able to work once I get an EAD. However, on that front I'm really torn. I was made redundant from a very stressful job in financial services where the long hours and long commute eventually wrung me out. So it was a blessed relief to escape (not that it felt like it at the time)! A few months later, I developed a life threatening illness. That was a real turning point. I took a job (instead of a career), which has been good as it's busy but I can switch off from it. So when the opportunity came up to move to the US we decided 'life's too short not to'.
So when we do move, I don't know whether to look for a job, a career, or to do voluntary work. Having been through masses of stress in the past, I'm not sure I want to commit to a job where I'm then restricted to 2 weeks holiday a year! However, I can't help feeling that I want to do something fulfilling and rewarding. I've got 2 degrees, but am contemplating going to uni again, though I'm not sure what to do, possibly teaching, or something healthcare-related.
As you can see, I'm pretty confused just now. I know I'm very very lucky to even have these choices. But I'm also aware of all the good things I'm leaving behind, and that is going to be really hard. At the moment all I seem able to think about is what I'm going to miss.
Sorry to be so depressing. The move is getting so close and I'm finding it a bit overwhelming.
I've got an L2 visa, so I will be able to work once I get an EAD. However, on that front I'm really torn. I was made redundant from a very stressful job in financial services where the long hours and long commute eventually wrung me out. So it was a blessed relief to escape (not that it felt like it at the time)! A few months later, I developed a life threatening illness. That was a real turning point. I took a job (instead of a career), which has been good as it's busy but I can switch off from it. So when the opportunity came up to move to the US we decided 'life's too short not to'.
So when we do move, I don't know whether to look for a job, a career, or to do voluntary work. Having been through masses of stress in the past, I'm not sure I want to commit to a job where I'm then restricted to 2 weeks holiday a year! However, I can't help feeling that I want to do something fulfilling and rewarding. I've got 2 degrees, but am contemplating going to uni again, though I'm not sure what to do, possibly teaching, or something healthcare-related.
As you can see, I'm pretty confused just now. I know I'm very very lucky to even have these choices. But I'm also aware of all the good things I'm leaving behind, and that is going to be really hard. At the moment all I seem able to think about is what I'm going to miss.
Sorry to be so depressing. The move is getting so close and I'm finding it a bit overwhelming.
I'm sure, as others have said, things will be easier once you've told your work that will be a huge relief.
Where in Colorado are you moving to?
Jan 13th 2010, 6:55 am
#32
Ping-ponger
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Dreich Alba
Posts: 12,010
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
So you have plenty of options - wonderful! I'm pushing the 'job' angle because it's a ready source of human interaction. Uni, teaching, volunteering, part-time work - they will all fit the bill of keeping you from getting bored, and also, thrusting you into your new community. My job is 'demanding' (time wise) but I love it, and I don't see it as a 'job' - it's like I'm being paid to do what I would do for free (not everyday, but most days) - but not everyone is that lucky.
Keep us posted how it goes!
Keep us posted how it goes!
My profession is pretty close to 24/7/365 (don't laugh; everyone thinks university academics only work 7 months or so a year, but it's simply not true). Some jobs (e.g., my last one in the States), I'd skip down the driveway to work (I lived across the street), skip back home (where I'd do more work), skip into the lab at weekends, constantly interacting with and helping students who had respect and wanted to learn and were generally "good kids". [I wouldn't literally skip, but I'd definitely have a skip in my stride]
Other jobs, the ridiculous "busy work" would be mind-numbing, the constant last-minute requests, and tasks beyond your skill set, forever dealing with change (not in a good way), colleagues who really were not collegial, dealing with support staff who were obstructive, bitter and twisted, ... now that is my description of a living hell. Keeping occupied did not equal keeping happy in that job, I'd rathar have been stuck at home mowing the lawn and doing vacuuming every day. At least I could listen to Terry Wogan. [I know that is other poeple's private idea of hell]
So, as an earlier post implied (I think it was this thread), take the job you like, not the job that pays more but causes untold stress.
Jan 13th 2010, 3:41 pm
#33
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Isn't that so annoying? People always assume my husband takes the whole summer off and lives a David Lodge type of existence.
Jan 13th 2010, 3:45 pm
#34
Unmitigated Gall
Joined: Dec 2006
Location: it's still too dark to tell
Posts: 16,162
Jan 13th 2010, 4:19 pm
#36
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 4,059
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
She nearly passed out from laughter...
Jan 13th 2010, 4:23 pm
#37
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 7,605
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Jan 13th 2010, 6:07 pm
#38
Ping-ponger
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Dreich Alba
Posts: 12,010
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Jan 13th 2010, 7:34 pm
#39
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 13,112
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
. Everyone should have a sense that they could lose their jobs if they don't perform ...
Jan 13th 2010, 7:47 pm
#40
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 7,605
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Except - most public sector jobs in the US are like that. Look at what happens every time somebody has the bright idea of suggesting that teachers should actually be able to teach, for example, or consider the DMV, for another.
Jan 13th 2010, 8:16 pm
#41
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: North Charleston,SC. born in Stockport,UK.
Posts: 10,109
Jan 13th 2010, 8:37 pm
#42
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: From a beautiful part of Scotland, now in Colorado
Posts: 265
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Hi,
I'm moving to Fort Collins. Someone mentioned a great dance scene there - any more info on that? I used to be really into ballroom and latin american dancing - I was a competitor for about 12 years, and would love to get back into it.
Any other pointers on Fort Collins would be very welcome!
I guess deep down I lack confidence, which is why change scares me witless!
I'm moving to Fort Collins. Someone mentioned a great dance scene there - any more info on that? I used to be really into ballroom and latin american dancing - I was a competitor for about 12 years, and would love to get back into it.
Any other pointers on Fort Collins would be very welcome!
I guess deep down I lack confidence, which is why change scares me witless!
Last edited by MadRad; Jan 13th 2010 at 8:38 pm. Reason: Extra info
Jan 13th 2010, 9:09 pm
#44
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 1,544
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Hi,
I'm moving to Fort Collins. Someone mentioned a great dance scene there - any more info on that? I used to be really into ballroom and latin american dancing - I was a competitor for about 12 years, and would love to get back into it.
Any other pointers on Fort Collins would be very welcome!
I guess deep down I lack confidence, which is why change scares me witless!
I'm moving to Fort Collins. Someone mentioned a great dance scene there - any more info on that? I used to be really into ballroom and latin american dancing - I was a competitor for about 12 years, and would love to get back into it.
Any other pointers on Fort Collins would be very welcome!
I guess deep down I lack confidence, which is why change scares me witless!
If you weren't an outdoorsy type before then you'll need to get a pair of hiking boots and become one!
City Data is a good forum for getting specific info on your new town, here's the link to the Fort Collins forum. Haven't used this myself, but you could try meet up or the meet up section of British Expats to see if there are any living in your area who could give you some helpful pointers.
Jan 13th 2010, 9:27 pm
#45
Boomshacalaca!!
Joined: Dec 2005
Location: South of the North Pole.......Colorado
Posts: 5,066
Re: Feeling very down about the whole thing
Hi,
I'm moving to Fort Collins. Someone mentioned a great dance scene there - any more info on that? I used to be really into ballroom and latin american dancing - I was a competitor for about 12 years, and would love to get back into it.
Any other pointers on Fort Collins would be very welcome!
I guess deep down I lack confidence, which is why change scares me witless!
I'm moving to Fort Collins. Someone mentioned a great dance scene there - any more info on that? I used to be really into ballroom and latin american dancing - I was a competitor for about 12 years, and would love to get back into it.
Any other pointers on Fort Collins would be very welcome!
I guess deep down I lack confidence, which is why change scares me witless!
Fear of the unknown is scary but its important not to allow it to inhibit you.
I came here back in 95 with literally 2 suitcases and not knowing anyone and didn't know anything about the area.. it was sorta a spin on the globe and stopping on Colorado.
You mentioned volunteering.. that is an excellent thing to start on many levels, it forces you out of the house per se, meeting people and starting somewhat of a network... which is key imo. Its a question of seeking out like minded people and there are plenty of resources to do just that. Besides, you need to start from somewhere so create and make a starting point! Be open minded and willing to try new things... to begin with anyway!
Car is essential as someone mentioned, 'nuff said.
Colorado is the outdoors persons' paradise, there is quite alot to do here and to keep you occupied.