The end ???
 

Well, could this be it ??
Though I secured my green card under my own steam I primarily moved here to be with my USC girlfriend.
After a serious falling out at the weekend it looks like that is most likely over.

So what know ??
Well, the regulars on here will know that I'm currently job hunting as my current position sucks and I have been missing a lot of stuff about home.
The easiest thing for me to do now would be to move back home.
Obviously that would result in me losing my Green Card and the option to return to the US would not be available to me which makes any move back final - that would be it.

Any thoughts/opinions ??

Re: The end ???
 

Give it a little time yet to see what happens with her in doors. How long have you been in the US?

alan

Re: The end ???
 

hiya..sorry to hear your news...sounds like it was a pretty serious fall out...early days yet though....what do you want to do...is the relationship worth saving..

Re: The end ???
 

Best thing is to give it time, and see how u feel. Take a good look at the options open to you. You never know what can happen with you're gf. Either way i do hope whatever u choose works out for the best for you :o

Re: The end ???
 

Ah Dave, sorry about the girlfriend. Can you tell us the details? Maybe we can help you sort it out??

As for staying here, obviously, only you can decide. Is your standard of living better over here (in general)? What are your career opps over here vs back home? Typically, I find the things that we miss about home, are not really that big a deal in the whole scheme of things.

Re: The end ???
 

Been here for 9 months.
Don't want to get into the reasons for the fall out, but its fair to say that it looks terminal regardless of whether anyone wants to fix it or not.

I would like to move out asap, but my thinking is now why go to all the trouble of finding myself a place out here when I could move back home.

Its all gone a bit pete tong as they say :(

Re: The end ???
 

Sorry to hear about the falling out. How long have you been in the US? As your not close to applying for citizenship - whatever you do, don't act in haste but take a while to think through what will be best for you in the long run.

Even if you're relationship has run it's course there's no need to leave the US unless you really want to.

Good luck.

Re: The end ???
 

yeah maybe with your job situation here and now this it's all fate...luckily you have no dependants (don't think) and are a free agent...

Re: The end ???
 

I don't want to get into the reasons for the fall out for many reasons - for a start I can only give my side of things which probably won't help much. Anyway, suffice it to say that it is dead in the water - this is all about what I do next.

As for the other stuff - my job here sucks but the opportunities here are far more - that was the second reason for moving here in the first place (after her).
I miss my family and friends back home a lot, but like you said, the other things aren't that big of a deal.
However if I stay here I need to find my own place, etc and I will be well and truely on my own - most stuff I did over here I did with her. I just don't know if I could face starting over again over here by myself, it was hard enough the first time with her.

Right now its still a struggle to get my head round this, but sooner rather than later I need to make a decision - I just don't know where to start :( :confused:

Re: The end ???
 

Good place to start is to see if you can both remain "friends" then at least she might help you with all you have to do.

Re: The end ???
 

sorry to hear thats its not worked out with your partner..

reading between the lines of your posts I think you hate it here, with no reason to stay, get yourself home. :)

Re: The end ???
 

aww davy you've got us...tried to send k but got to spread..lol not a pretty sight :rolleyes:

Re: The end ???
 

Maybe a visit home would help you make the decision? It would let you know whether you would rather be there than here. Don't rush either way. It's never good to make these kind of decisions when ur upset. =/ feelin for ya!

Re: The end ???
 

Sorry to hear about the break up.....I actually thought you were gay, I must have misread a post from a while ago, so I apologise for that!

You obtained your GC through the diversity lottery didn't you (as you were born in N.Ireland?).

Do you actually have a 'home' to go to in the UK or will you move in with a parent or relative? Would it drive you nuts if you had to do so?

Perhaps you should get a sheet of paper, draw a line down the middle and write a list of reasons to stay in the US and
reasons to return to the UK. It might help you to make a decision. I guess the job situation doesn't make it easy for you....did you enjoy day to day life more before you arrived in the States? Perhaps you enjoyed the US when you first arrived but the 'honeymoon' period is over?

You never know, even if you gave up your green card you might just meet an American woman in the future and marry her.....plenty of people on this forum have.

Oddly enough we have the opposite problem to you - we really don't fancy getting green cards but we max out our visas next year (they can't be extended) and we might end up applying just so our teenage son can stay on here.... :confused: :rolleyes:

Good luck whatever you decide to do....you must be feeling really crappy right now if it's the end of the road for your relationship. :o Here's a (((((hug)))))

Re: The end ???
 

It's definitely easier starting somewhere when you know someone, but when I moved here the only person I knew was a friend from uni but he was married and so I was almost completely alone. I stuck with it and it was definitely worthwhile. You could also see this as an opportunity to try out a completely different part of the US where it might be easier to find your way.

Re: The end ???
 

Ah Davy sorry to hear about the break up.
Maybe this will be an opportunity for you to move to another state where job opportunities might be better. Think it through before you decide to go home.Good luck to you .

Re: The end ???
 

Bugger...hmmm...only had the greencard 9 months, so no point in bothering with citizenship then...but then again, it wasn't a cheap investment, so might be worth sticking it out here for a few months, least get a year in before jacking this place in?

Re: The end ???
 

Sorry to hear your news.

I moved here 3 1/2 years ago to marry my USC wife. While I enjoy living here, if it wasn't for her I would probably move back to Blighty.
I dont think I could handle living here on my own.

Good luck with everything.

Re: The end ???
 

this is about Dave, not you Woodsey! :p

Re: The end ???
 

huh.. :confused:

Re: The end ???
 

I didn't get anything "between the lines" from Dave that said he hated it here. I thought maybe you were being funny cus you'd like to go home.
Sorry I misunderstood.

I'll get me coat....

Re: The end ???
 

Can't add much more but sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. Are you sure the split is irrevocable? Best not to make too hasty decisions. thinking of you.

Re: The end ???
 

Get yourself off home for a holiday. Do some talking to your mum and family, think it all over, come back here and see how you feel.
I understand you not want to face starting over again here on your own, I wouldn't want to either.
Maybe you should move out of the mid-west?

Re: The end ???
 

yeah good idea..why not try texas...plenty of room for all of us :p

Re: The end ???
 

Sorry to hear about you and your GF calling it a day. I know for sure I wouldn't stay here if it wasn't for my husband, but then I have kids, if I was young free and single it might be a different matter. I would give it a little while, at least two or three months, before making a final decision, aren't you going home for a visit soonish??

Good luck whatever you decide.

Annette

Re: The end ???
 

hey, no worries..I wouldn't go back now if you paid me. I'm just going on things he said in the past about being here, if I was in the same position and split with my partner I wouldn't hesitate in getting the first plane home, its hard enough settling when your with someone never mind trying to do it on your own. I just don't see the point in prolonging the agony just for the sake of maybe gaining citizenship and being able to stay permanently. But its a tough call, it may work out if he stays but it may not, its a crappy position to be in and I feel for you Davy.. :(

Re: The end ???
 

Apply for a re-entry I-131 ... then sod off home to check if the grass is greener ..if not.. you can still come back....

Re: The end ???
 

Hey you, got home safely then! Don't you go home this Thursday?

Re: The end ???
 

I was just going to say what Woodsey's already said, you'v not been a happy bunny over here, I know that feeling only to well, get yourself home mate you need friends and family around :) best wishes my friend.

Re: The end ???
 

You always seem like an upbeat kinda guy its so sad to hear you down like this. :(

It is always very difficult when a relationship comes to an end. Better to find out now than in a few years time when maybe you're married and have children.

Look at it this way Davy you can freely look for a job anywhere in the US, that's what I would do. You're young, single with no ties, take advantage of that and experience other parts of America while you can. You have said that there are far more career opportunities here for you, so why not give it a little more time and broaden your horizons.

When we first came to live here I found it really hard, I missed family, friends, home and everything that was so familiar. I basically missed my life. Even after a few months when we were talking about going back, I knew deep down that it would be very difficult to settle in England. That's what makes it so difficult for most expats isn't it? That not belonging anywhere feeling.

Whatever you do keep your options open, don't close any doors permanently.

Good luck. Don't let the buggers get you down. :)

Re: The end ???
 

America's your oyster! Think a move outta the mid-west might be the first step. Have some fun! As long as you keep the means for a ticket back home on you, where can you go wrong? And America really is the land of opportunity.

Re: The end ???
 

What fatbrit said.

Even if you don't want to stay permanently, move out to the land of the fruits and nuts or north of that to the even more fruits and nuts, or further north of that to the really fruity and nuttier :D

Single, no responsibilities, GC....man, what a blast :):)

You can always go back home in a year or two when you've had enough of seeing the place :)

Re: The end ???
 

Take a road trip!

It's a nice way to see how nice the US really is.

Re: The end ???
 

Thanks everyone for your ideas.

I already tried the sheet of paper, list of pro's and con's thing but didn't get very far - maybbe I'll have another crack at that.
I'll also find out more about filing for leave of absence. I can usually make my mind up pretty quickly so maybe a few months back home would be all I need.
I do have a trip back home coming up in June, but I'd have to find somewhere to live until then - I guess the going home straight away thing stemmed from not wanting to go through any of that stuff, but I guess that 2 months isn't that long and it would be wise to give myself as many options as possible.

I suppose that I'm going to look like a bit of a twat is things with her can be fixed - I'll have to rejoin expats under a new user name :o :) - but the reality is that that isn't going to happen I'm afraid :(

Thanks again everyone - i really appreciate you taking some time to give me your input :)

Re: The end ???
 

Remember there's plenty more fish in the sea. Have a good time, enjoy your freedom, its her loss not yours.

Re: The end ???
 

Yep... if you come to my wedding... I'll hook you up with some nice Latin piece of arse. :D

Re: The end ???
 

A good way of getting through being somewhere on your own (especially in a big city) is online dating. I did this in NY for quite a while with the idea that I would make some good friends. At one point I had 8 dates with different women within 2 weeks. Some of them became friends, some of them I never saw again, and one of them is now my wife. Interestingly as soon as I got engaged the ones who I thought were just friends disappeared, even though they knew I'd been dating her for over a year, but never mind as I have plenty of other friends now. I also got to find out about some cool hang outs that I wouldn't have found otherwise.

Re: The end ???
 

Really feel for you Davy, this sort of thing is hard enough in your own country let alone another one.

Re: The end ???
 

Big DavyG, sorry to hear about your relationship problems. After all the effort you have put into getting your Greencard, I would seriously think long and hard, before abandoning. Why don't you set yourself a date, 6, 12, 18, 24 months, when you get near that time you can then make a sensible decision about going back or staying. Right now is a bit "Knee Jerk". Good luck.
Reg. Frank R.

Re: The end ???
 

Hiya Frank, where've ya been? Thought you might have got lost in that apartment of yours what with all that space an 'all. Anyway nice to see ya back. :)

Sorry Davy didn't mean to pinch your thread but I have posted twice or is it two times already.