Re: The end ???
 

Hi Jersey!
Sometimes, the bones get stuck in your teeth.
Reg. Frank R.

Re: The end ???
 

Davy, Davy, Davy!!!, What on earth are we going to do with you! :) . There was one point during my marriage, many years ago ,when my USC husband and I thought that our relationship could not be salvaged. We were going through some rough times and we saw it as the only way out. After we had been to a lawyer and started to find out what we needed to do we panicked and realized that whatever the problems were we would find a way to fix them because we couldn't bear to be apart. The minute all of this started happening I went into complete self survival mode. I started calling shipping companies, deciding what I wanted to take back to Britain and what I could live without, started trying to find out property prices in my hometown, everything that I would need to leave and be on my own.
When my husband saw that I was getting on and figuring out what I needed to do, he was emotionally distraught. I think he thought somehow that I would'nt leave, but I had pulled myself together (even though I was devastated) and carried on. We spent a lot of time talking, crying, thinking and decided that we couldn't be apart.
The point that I'm trying to make is that you must not do anything in haste, if your relationship is truly over then you need to think of you. Rushing into anything when you're in emotional turmoil is pointless because you will more often than not make the wrong decision.
Posters have made very good suggestions to you but it is up to you to figure out what's right. I think going home for a while to see if that's where you want to be is a great suggestion. Sometimes you can see things more clearly when you are not in the immediate vacinity of the problem.
I hope that you figure out what you want and make an informed decision as opposed to a hasty one and I wish you all the luck in the world. :) BIG HUG! :D

Re: The end ???
 

.....and talking of plenty of fish in the sea.....you might catch one here!

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/

:)

Re: The end ???
 

Sounds like your in need of a good beer session :beer:

Re: The end ???
 

Sorry to hear of your problems Davy. Are you really sure it's over? I've been there too, packing my bags, ready to ship myself and kids back home, but managed to salvege things. Is there anyway you can rescue your relationship? You know the saying...it's not over till the fat lady sings.

Re: The end ???
 

firstly, i just wanna say no you won't look like a twat, and we'd all be made up for you as long as it was the right thing for you, and you were happy... who hasn't said something and then changed their mind?

Apart from the fact that you probably feel like crap because of the relationship thing (*hug*), you can look at it as an opportunity... sometime's i dream about what i'd do and where i'd go in the states if i was free to do so.

have some fun :)

take care davy

Re: The end ???
 

Thks. LOL. :D

Re: The end ???
 

Davy My Boy!

Get down to the "Elephant & Castle" on 111 W. Adams and have a few decent beers and think your next move through, very carefully.

Only you will know in your heart what your next move will be.

Best of Luck!

Jim. :beer:

Re: The end ???
 

Don't go. After all the hassle, stay and make up or find someone else. That's what I would do. This country's too big and has too much potential to be fun. Move to Miami and be a bartender - move to New Orleans and help out with the rebuilding.

Re: The end ???
 

and become a part time bank robber to be able to afford somewhere to live..

Re: The end ???
 

Would some flowers and an "I'm Sorry" help, on your part????

Jim.

Re: The end ???
 

In New York City there is apparently a ratio of 6 women to every man.

I'm sure your accent will beguile a few of them! :cool:

Re: The end ???
 

Come back to California and stay longer this time! You've got friends out here who would probably love to have you around for a while. It usually helps if you remove yourself from the situation for a bit to get some perspective on it.

Sorry to hear that you're ending a relationship as it can be just so brutal, but being single's not so bad. I'm definitely enjoying it at the moment. Just think of all the possibilities. And, a man with an accent in the US is never without female attention!! Exploit it when you're ready!

Re: The end ???
 

That's sad, Big Davy - so sorry to read your news.

As everyone already said, it's better not to rush into anything when you're still feeling raw. You'd get back to the UK and within weeks you'd wish you hadn't been so rash - I'd bet on it ! I'd probably go back at once in your situation, but I'm daft. I know it would be the wrong thing to do.

I hope you can find a compromise of sorts, to get you to the next chapter. :)

Re: The end ???
 

I wish :rolleyes:

Re: The end ???
 

Sorry to hear the bad news, mate. You must be feeling pretty crappy.

I agree with a couple of things that were said. One was about thoughts of going home being a "knee jerk" reaction. It's bloody hard to get into the US and you have a golden opportunity to get something positive out of the situation. Don't blow it by giving up your American dream too quickly.

Also, be good to yourself - go home for a break, or even go on a break somewhere else in the US.

If you truly came here for the opportunity (as well as the girl), then the opportunity is still there at the end of the day. You've got nothing to lose by trynig things by yourself, at least for a while. There must be someone out there looking to sub-lease a room for a few months. Finding somewhere to live isn't always easy, but we've all done it at some time and when you find somewhere at least that's a step in the right direction.

Good luck, whatever you decide, but don't decide too quickly.

Re: The end ???
 

Dave,

Sorry to hear your news, I came over here originally to be with my American wife. Things turned pear shaped for me too. I was left pretty much alone in a strange country, since most of my friends disappeared too. Anyway I did stick it out and am very glad I did. Not saying I didn't go through some rough times but I eventually found the light at the end of the tunnel not to mention a new fiancee. I can look back now and say that I am very glad I didn't take the easy out of jumping on the first flight home.
I know everyone's circumstances are different....just showing that you do still have a realistic option of making a life here.
If you wanna bounce off someone who has been through the same thing, feel free to answer this or PM me.
Best of luck mate, and don't make any snap decisions.
Graham

Re: The end ???
 

Sorry to hear that things are a bit rough at the moment.

However, given your situation I think I would stick it out until you get your green card. Also would have to agree with others, get out of Hicksville and come and join those of us who live in civilisation in California.

Re: The end ???
 

BigDavy

Dont give up your green card

A broken heart mends much quicker than a green card is approved :)

Sorry to hear of your troubles, but dont give up your card, we nearly did after a 4 year application and a bust up with DH's employer, and I had the house packed up ready to move in 10 days, (back to the UK with 2 kids and a dog), because we were angry, so we thought F..K you, we're OFF

But we calmed down, got the card, (we were only 4 weeks away from our card as it turned out), but we were ready to pack up and go

Take a deep breath and stay calm, and as I say, I dont know you, but this is good advice to anyone, as we were given it, although it was hard to swallow, just bide your time and something special will come your way (hopefully), and it may be a union with your now ex-girlfriend (or not)

Hope I havent over-stepped the mark

Just my thoughts and experiences

PD1 (damn I need a shorter name, I am thinking maybe just one vowel or something)

Re: The end ???
 

BDG I'm not going to give you any advice about staying here because I'm biased and can't wait to leave, but I just wanted to wish you all the best whatever you decide to do.

Re: The end ???
 

Sorry to hear about that BDG.

If it was me, I'd be tossing my skis in the back of the car, locking up the house, and going on an extended road trip. Take some time off and think about things. Leaving the home country, it changes you. Go for a visit home if you want, but don't pack up just yet. Check out the frapper map and plan a US tour!

Re: The end ???
 

If he's lucky, he may find one that also speaks English, too ;)

Jim.

Re: The end ???
 

I'd second that, chill out, think about things, F**k it......ROAD TRIP :D

Re: The end ???
 

Then get arrested by a sheriff similar to Buford T. Justice - you'd be living the dream. :D

Re: The end ???
 

"I say, I say, are you one of those Ingerlish commie liberal nancy boys, I been hearing about, well are ya boy?"

Re: The end ???
 

Only if she sent them PD f**king Q!!!!!

Re: The end ???
 

Nice one. LOL

Re: The end ???
 

Sorry to hear about your situation mate but if you ain't happy here then there's only one thing to do. Get back to civilisation. We're foreigners here and if I were you I'd be back in the Smoke quicker that Bush could drop a bollock.

Then again.......you YF and S mate. Tell yourself your going home in 12 months and bang anything with a pulse for a year. You're only young once

Re: The end ???
 

Sorry to hear that - I reckon Jerseygirl had it spot on on #30. But then everyone has to make their own minds up. Rushman aint far off either!

by the way, that lass I mentioned last week is off in Marbella on a 40th birthday week, but if you want to talk to her, she'll be back next week..

Re: The end ???
 

Thanks again to all the evening posters for your thoughts - it def helps to hear other peoples opinions and your good wishes are also kindy received.
I've just dished out a load of karma and will do so again when I'm able to reload. Everyone will get some, but please be patient - it might take a while - i don't recover from "spent-ness" as quick as I used to :o

I think that I'll wait for the dust to settle before making a decision, though right now its hard to imagine going for any of your more adventurous suggestions. Having already spent most of my early to mid-twenties bumming about back home its about time that I got the finger out and head down.

Anyway, its off to bed for now to spend another night trying to figure out wtf it all went wrong. Hopefully I'll manage to get 10 minutes shut eye at least - that should give me enough time to have my favourite dream of scoring the injury time winner for Northern Ireland against England in the World Cup final, before being whisked off to my private suite at the Dorchester to judge the final of the Miss Jubba-licious wet t-shirt contest.

Good luck and thanks - i appreciate it :)

Re: The end ???
 

a serious falling out at the weekend? It's only Monday! Aren't you being a tad hasty? well you know best but unless it's cheating don't you think you are jumping the gun? You kids could be back together by next week ;)
I read your other posts and you've made it clear that you don't want to explain and that's understandable but obviously to come here primarily for her in the first place you guys were in love!....a serious quarrel doesn't have to be the end of it all, shouldn't you be thinking about your relationship rather than thinking of returning home ( easier said than done ..I've mentally left hubby and jumped on a plane to the U.k hundreds of times! :p )

Right now I'd not make any hasty decisions if I was you, do you have a friend you can stay with ? can you stay in a hotel to gather your thoughts and give yourself some time to think this through?....don't worry about your green card yet, you're gonna have to decide if this relationship is worth fighting for first..........good luck :)

Re: The end ???
 

Hi Davy,
I can only repeat what a lot of people have already said, and must say I am truly sorry to hear of your break up, but just think how hard it will be to try and get back over here if you get back to Blighty for a while and realise you preferred it over here. I would try and stick it out for a while, just remember, no-matter how long you are over here you can always go back to Blighty, so i wouldn't rush, everything is up in the air at the moment, let things settle and then make a decision, a trip home would be a good idea if you can. Another thing (i don't know anything much about your relationship) but could problems in your relationship have clouded your perception to life over here? What I mean is, that if you were unhappy in your relationship, could that have had a knock-on effect to the way you viewed your life over here? America is a vast place and everywhere is different, so give it a go, look around a bit, if you still hate it over here after all that. then have a rethink. I am sorry if I have put my foot in my mouth anywhere or offended or upset you, but as I said, i dont really know too much about your present situation.

(P.S. Don't forget the women over here love the British accent ;) )

Re: The end ???
 

Isn't that what I suggested in the second part of my post? I thought I'd made myself clear.

Re: The end ???
 

But not if you repeat everything you say ;)

Re: The end ???
 

well it was St Paddy's last Friday , prob had American girls throwing themselves at him....hence girlfriend trouble ;)

you proably wore a "kiss me I'm Irish" T-shirt didn't you Davy:p :D

Re: The end ???
 

I am just so used having to repeat my self over here! ;) :p :D , DP sorted now!

Re: The end ???
 

Which is why you need to do it. Get out of town - you need to spend at least a few days in a place with no memories and no ghosts to cloud your thoughts. And that's probably not really back in the UK either, though a little friendly support can be good. Last time something similar happened to me, I bought a new pair of skis and went to Switzerland alone. Best thing I ever did. YMMV, but you can start moving on without making any hard decisions.

Re: The end ???
 

Bollox to her.... just another woman in a sea of women.

Job? Screw it!

Personally (and finances pending) I'd take the opportunity to slap a pack on my back and tour the USA and with my GC working where ever to earn whatever money I needed.


Lifes too short to piss it away moping....take the opportunity mate to do something you'll never get the chance to do again.

Re: The end ???
 

Losing the GF although horrible is not a world - ending scenario

find another girl or girls and have some fun

Re: The end ???
 

Have you sat down together and talked about the end of your relationship or are you too hostile to each other to be able to talk at the moment.

Are you sad the relationship is over or relieved it is. Think about that one for a while.

Did you share a home jointly? Who gets to stay, who has to go?

Before you go off on the pilgrimage of discovery that some have suggested think out for yourself what you want to happen next. Its easy to run away from a problem or a life, its harder to stay and sort it out properly. Next step some talking maybe.

I wish you well.