BigDavyG

Well, could this be it ??
Though I secured my green card under my own steam I primarily moved here to be with my USC girlfriend.
After a serious falling out at the weekend it looks like that is most likely over.

So what know ??
Well, the regulars on here will know that I'm currently job hunting as my current position sucks and I have been missing a lot of stuff about home.
The easiest thing for me to do now would be to move back home.
Obviously that would result in me losing my Green Card and the option to return to the US would not be available to me which makes any move back final - that would be it.

Any thoughts/opinions ??

evoal2003

Give it a little time yet to see what happens with her in doors. How long have you been in the US?

alan

TruBrit

hiya..sorry to hear your news...sounds like it was a pretty serious fall out...early days yet though....what do you want to do...is the relationship worth saving..

ladygwennie

Best thing is to give it time, and see how u feel. Take a good look at the options open to you. You never know what can happen with you're gf. Either way i do hope whatever u choose works out for the best for you

Pigtails

Ah Dave, sorry about the girlfriend. Can you tell us the details? Maybe we can help you sort it out??

As for staying here, obviously, only you can decide. Is your standard of living better over here (in general)? What are your career opps over here vs back home? Typically, I find the things that we miss about home, are not really that big a deal in the whole scheme of things.

BigDavyG

Been here for 9 months.
Don't want to get into the reasons for the fall out, but its fair to say that it looks terminal regardless of whether anyone wants to fix it or not.

I would like to move out asap, but my thinking is now why go to all the trouble of finding myself a place out here when I could move back home.

Its all gone a bit pete tong as they say

Philgr

Sorry to hear about the falling out. How long have you been in the US? As your not close to applying for citizenship - whatever you do, don't act in haste but take a while to think through what will be best for you in the long run.

Even if you're relationship has run it's course there's no need to leave the US unless you really want to.

Good luck.

TruBrit

yeah maybe with your job situation here and now this it's all fate...luckily you have no dependants (don't think) and are a free agent...

BigDavyG

I don't want to get into the reasons for the fall out for many reasons - for a start I can only give my side of things which probably won't help much. Anyway, suffice it to say that it is dead in the water - this is all about what I do next.

As for the other stuff - my job here sucks but the opportunities here are far more - that was the second reason for moving here in the first place (after her).
I miss my family and friends back home a lot, but like you said, the other things aren't that big of a deal.
However if I stay here I need to find my own place, etc and I will be well and truely on my own - most stuff I did over here I did with her. I just don't know if I could face starting over again over here by myself, it was hard enough the first time with her.

Right now its still a struggle to get my head round this, but sooner rather than later I need to make a decision - I just don't know where to start

lolly

Good place to start is to see if you can both remain "friends" then at least she might help you with all you have to do.

woodsey

sorry to hear thats its not worked out with your partner..

reading between the lines of your posts I think you hate it here, with no reason to stay, get yourself home.

TruBrit

aww davy you've got us...tried to send k but got to spread..lol not a pretty sight

ladygwennie

Maybe a visit home would help you make the decision? It would let you know whether you would rather be there than here. Don't rush either way. It's never good to make these kind of decisions when ur upset. =/ feelin for ya!

Englishmum

Sorry to hear about the break up.....I actually thought you were gay, I must have misread a post from a while ago, so I apologise for that!

You obtained your GC through the diversity lottery didn't you (as you were born in N.Ireland?).

Do you actually have a 'home' to go to in the UK or will you move in with a parent or relative? Would it drive you nuts if you had to do so?

Perhaps you should get a sheet of paper, draw a line down the middle and write a list of reasons to stay in the US and
reasons to return to the UK. It might help you to make a decision. I guess the job situation doesn't make it easy for you....did you enjoy day to day life more before you arrived in the States? Perhaps you enjoyed the US when you first arrived but the 'honeymoon' period is over?

You never know, even if you gave up your green card you might just meet an American woman in the future and marry her.....plenty of people on this forum have.

Oddly enough we have the opposite problem to you - we really don't fancy getting green cards but we max out our visas next year (they can't be extended) and we might end up applying just so our teenage son can stay on here....

Good luck whatever you decide to do....you must be feeling really crappy right now if it's the end of the road for your relationship. Here's a (((((hug)))))

neil

It's definitely easier starting somewhere when you know someone, but when I moved here the only person I knew was a friend from uni but he was married and so I was almost completely alone. I stuck with it and it was definitely worthwhile. You could also see this as an opportunity to try out a completely different part of the US where it might be easier to find your way.