Bob

I wouldn't say that is strictly true as a nation as a whole, for many perhaps, but there are equally many who'll f you over without a second thought, well most in Mass for a start, bunch of miserable gits over here, and I'm sure the same over in NY. That's not to say everyone in these places are the same on the same token either.

frrussre

Are you living in USA as an Expat or were you an Expat In UK are you a Brit expat?
Reg. Confused?

Elvira

Exactly. I rarely hesitate to tell someone if I think they're being stupid or unreasonable but I hope that I do so only if it's appropriate. But the OP was clearly sending out a distress call - the last thing she needs is to be told "if you don't like it here go back to the UK".

Leslie

So, whereabouts do you live gypsy?

What sort of problems (specifically) are you having with the bureaucracy? Maybe somebody here lives near enough to you and can help by sharing their experiences. Are we talking about dealing with the DMV, HOA, filing your taxes .... etc ?

More than anything else - you sound overwhelmed. Try to approach it incrementally. Pick a problem and start trying to solve it. Pick the smallest one first and work up to the bigger ones.

I'm not saying you'll ever "love" living here but just working on improving your quality of life will make you feel better.

exexpat

I'm American, lived in the UK for years, am now back in the States. I'm an ex-expat.

exexpat

But maybe that's exactly what she should do. I'm not trying to be ugly; I know from personal experience that sometimes, an overseas move doesn't work out the way you wanted it to and you find the grass (at least your own personal grass) is actually greener back home.

Bob

yeah, but it's like rubbing it in someones face ain't it....when they're broke, kids in school, it's a big upheaval on a family, especially if they like things here, and it's especially hard when your broke.

:Huey

It has to be just about the most unhelpful thing you can say to someone - like they haven't already thought about it.

frrussre

American Expat. Did a few people in UK pee you off? Sounds like YankeeExpat, would be more appropriate?
Reg. Frank R.

gypsygirl

Thanks so much, I really wasnt expecting all the support.
Where do I start answering everything.

Well, purchase protection problems are us buying a 3 year old car from the dealers with warranty and when the wheel falls off and nearly killed my husband the warranty said they wouldnt pay, even though it was covered. We had to get an attorney.
The mortage told us strait that we could definatley remortgage for a better rate & times. Then turned around and told us we had been given the wrong information as we were on the best deal already.
I could go on and on.

We cant go anywhere, we dont have the cash. We have NO money. We also have to sell the house, car, belongings etc first. Our neighbors house has been for sale for over 1 year and they dropped the price by $90k. Going anywhere isnt an option whether we want to or not. We certainly cant afford 6 plane tickets to anywhere!

We came here wanting to be here, and really tried hard to make things work. It just seems to be one thing after another. Im scared to death at the future of no health insurance after retirement. My kids insurance runs out when they are 21, so if they are not working, what happens then? My son has siezures and even a simple 2 stitches would have cost us $2500 when he slipped on the ice recently. Fortuneatly we had insurance.
My baby ended up in ER a few months ago when she had a really high fever. The treatment of her was awful. The full story is very long, picture this, a 12m old baby that had been really ill for 3 days, plus it was 2am. So 2 nurses pin her down on the bed on her back, with her arm out trying to get blood. They were not even trying to be gentle, they couldnt find a vein so kept jabbing her arm with the needle. THis went on for ages, then they tried the other arm. By the time they left, my baby was shaking and screaming an awful peircing scream. When they returned to try again I told them where to go. The x-ray (for a fever?) was no better. Apparently they had no pediatric training. I dont understand why when its a ER?

They havent sorted out one tax return since we moved here. When they finally got around to dealing with the first one, they cancelled our deduction claim for the children and sent us a huge bill. They said they cancelled the claim as the kids passports were expired (& visa). Bear in mind they were vaild at, and for, the time we are claiming.

We have made lists and lists of the problems we are having here, most of it would be made easier with money of course. We came here with long term plans to stay, but they all went to pot. I dont know what to do, as I said we cant leave anyway right now. We have been trying to get back to see family for 4 years now, and always hubbys bonus goes on some stupid bill or other that ALWAYS crops up just at the same time and takes it all and more. We thought this year we would be ok, but no, everything goes to poop at the same time and another year we cant get back.

To move back to England would mean giving up a good job and being homeless. We dont have family we can stay with there, and with no money to fall back on it would just be walking into hell. We would really love to move to Ireland and starting to look into that, but still its not an option right now. That way hubby could stay with the same company at least, but we still have the $$ problems.

I dont give specifics on here, as anyone can read it after all.
I love the Americans and yes they are mostly really nice people. I love the countryside and NYC. But it doesnt make up for all the problems we are going through.

Elvira

Oh, what can I say, Love - you really have it tough. It's probably no help, but there are others here who are also facing huge problems - some similar, some different. It really can be so hard to try and make it work - doubly so if you know you're doing all you possibly can.

Where are you in the whole permanent residency process? Being on an H4 is horrible. And once the kids get to college age it gets much, much worse, because so many colleges now seem to charge out of state fees to those without green cards.

Please keep posting - and ignore the tossers who cannot or will not understand.

Thydney

We did

tamms_1965

I have to agree with you there. I know it's tough being an immigrant, and I wouldn't want to have to pack up move across the ocean. However, nothing gets done by moaning & groaning either. I am a true believer in positive thinking and "making things happen." I wouldn't be where I am today without it.

Jerseygirl

What is wrong with you people...can't you see this poor lady is at her wits end? If you can't be sympathetic please move along to another thread...you've made your feelings quite clear already.

I know somewhat how she feels...due to homesickness my life was spiralling out of control. The worst part was I'm usually in control...I give myself a good talking to and I'm back on track...but after moving to the US my heart ruled my head. Fortunately with the help of my husband and daughter I managed to get myself back on track...but it took a long time.

Elvira

Agree entirely. And in her case it is clearly a lot more than homesickness. She is overwhelmed by problems which she can do very little about.