Dating in NYC
Apr 19th 2008, 6:39 am
#46
Banned
Joined: Mar 2006
Location: Orlando,Florida,living in Buckinghamshire for next 6 weeks.
Posts: 1,416
Re: Dating in NYC
One girl I dated said it was embarrasing to be seen getting out her credit card in a bar. She implied that it was demeaning to a girl to publicly pay a bar tab. She's very cute and really not high maintainance, and it would not really hurt my pocket to pick up the tab. But it seems so strange after dating British and European girls who prided themselves on their financial independence.
I can understand the comment about girls prepping themselves, and the outlay that involves. But some do more than others, and guys do that kind of stuff too. In these days of supposed gender equality, I can't really find a logical reason why two people with similar incomes should not share expenses on a date. (I know there are illogical reasons).
It must be a convention dating back to a time when men worked, and women didn't.
I can understand the comment about girls prepping themselves, and the outlay that involves. But some do more than others, and guys do that kind of stuff too. In these days of supposed gender equality, I can't really find a logical reason why two people with similar incomes should not share expenses on a date. (I know there are illogical reasons).
It must be a convention dating back to a time when men worked, and women didn't.
Personally I believe arranging a date over cocktails is better than a dinner date if you are unsure about her .It allows you time together to get a good read on her but doesn't require you sit there over a long dinner if the date is tanking.It doesn't take that long to figure out if there is physcial chemistry between the two of you after you both are relaxed by way of cocktails.A few drinks will give you insight in to whether or not she deserves a second date.
The second thru 5th date is when you find out if she was just putting on her best face during the first couple dates.But by the 3rd or 4th date you'll know if you two are sexually compatible and if she is a head case.This being NYC a fast pace city you might know that by the 1st or 2nd date
Apr 19th 2008, 6:50 am
#47
Banned
Joined: Mar 2006
Location: Orlando,Florida,living in Buckinghamshire for next 6 weeks.
Posts: 1,416
Re: Dating in NYC
Here's the average cost of a days prepping for a date.
Haircut if needed $60
Mani-pedi $50
Garden work $20
New outfit $75
Mad money $40 (emergency funds)
So on average for the first date it comes to about $245. Some of the things that I mentioned aren't done by some. However the classier the dame the more she spends on herself to look good. Let's not forget the makeup supply that she has to keep stocked. All the potions she uses in the shower and after to smell like a woman. The time spent in up keep between appointments. Spending some cash on some nice lingerie so that the wrapper is nice all the way through. Very few women can look good au natural. The 99% percent of the rest of us have to do some work to keep you interested. We ladies are in competition with each other to be the one that gets that second look. It's aggressive and dog eat dog out there. We know you like to have someone who looks pretty hanging off your arm. We're a reflection of who you are as a men. We just do a really good job of making it look effortless. You guys only see the work we go through if you are living with your girlfriend, wife, or have experience with sisters. Even then we hid some of our beauty routines from you.
Just know there are days I wish I could roll out of bed at 6:30 and be ready and looking good by 6:45 but there's no way in hell that's gonna happen. Not if I have anything to say about it. You men have it easy in this regard.
Haircut if needed $60
Mani-pedi $50
Garden work $20
New outfit $75
Mad money $40 (emergency funds)
So on average for the first date it comes to about $245. Some of the things that I mentioned aren't done by some. However the classier the dame the more she spends on herself to look good. Let's not forget the makeup supply that she has to keep stocked. All the potions she uses in the shower and after to smell like a woman. The time spent in up keep between appointments. Spending some cash on some nice lingerie so that the wrapper is nice all the way through. Very few women can look good au natural. The 99% percent of the rest of us have to do some work to keep you interested. We ladies are in competition with each other to be the one that gets that second look. It's aggressive and dog eat dog out there. We know you like to have someone who looks pretty hanging off your arm. We're a reflection of who you are as a men. We just do a really good job of making it look effortless. You guys only see the work we go through if you are living with your girlfriend, wife, or have experience with sisters. Even then we hid some of our beauty routines from you.
Just know there are days I wish I could roll out of bed at 6:30 and be ready and looking good by 6:45 but there's no way in hell that's gonna happen. Not if I have anything to say about it. You men have it easy in this regard.
Apr 19th 2008, 7:32 am
#48
SUPER MODERATOR
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 88,023
Re: Dating in NYC
Here's the average cost of a days prepping for a date.
Haircut if needed $60
Mani-pedi $50
Garden work $20
New outfit $75
Mad money $40 (emergency funds)
So on average for the first date it comes to about $245. Some of the things that I mentioned aren't done by some. However the classier the dame the more she spends on herself to look good. Let's not forget the makeup supply that she has to keep stocked. All the potions she uses in the shower and after to smell like a woman. The time spent in up keep between appointments. Spending some cash on some nice lingerie so that the wrapper is nice all the way through. Very few women can look good au natural. The 99% percent of the rest of us have to do some work to keep you interested. We ladies are in competition with each other to be the one that gets that second look. It's aggressive and dog eat dog out there. We know you like to have someone who looks pretty hanging off your arm. We're a reflection of who you are as a men. We just do a really good job of making it look effortless. You guys only see the work we go through if you are living with your girlfriend, wife, or have experience with sisters. Even then we hid some of our beauty routines from you.
Just know there are days I wish I could roll out of bed at 6:30 and be ready and looking good by 6:45 but there's no way in hell that's gonna happen. Not if I have anything to say about it. You men have it easy in this regard.
Haircut if needed $60
Mani-pedi $50
Garden work $20
New outfit $75
Mad money $40 (emergency funds)
So on average for the first date it comes to about $245. Some of the things that I mentioned aren't done by some. However the classier the dame the more she spends on herself to look good. Let's not forget the makeup supply that she has to keep stocked. All the potions she uses in the shower and after to smell like a woman. The time spent in up keep between appointments. Spending some cash on some nice lingerie so that the wrapper is nice all the way through. Very few women can look good au natural. The 99% percent of the rest of us have to do some work to keep you interested. We ladies are in competition with each other to be the one that gets that second look. It's aggressive and dog eat dog out there. We know you like to have someone who looks pretty hanging off your arm. We're a reflection of who you are as a men. We just do a really good job of making it look effortless. You guys only see the work we go through if you are living with your girlfriend, wife, or have experience with sisters. Even then we hid some of our beauty routines from you.
Just know there are days I wish I could roll out of bed at 6:30 and be ready and looking good by 6:45 but there's no way in hell that's gonna happen. Not if I have anything to say about it. You men have it easy in this regard.
Apr 19th 2008, 2:24 pm
#49
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: Reno Nevada
Posts: 15,917
Re: Dating in NYC
I don't agree with your comment the classier the dame the more she spends on herself to look good...in fact I would say it's the opposite. A classy lady would already have a good haircut thus no need to go to the hairdressers, nice nails, 'gardening' and suitable outfits to wear.
Takes me an hour and I am out the door
Apr 19th 2008, 2:36 pm
#50
Bloody Yank
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: USA! USA!
Posts: 4,186
Re: Dating in NYC
Turns out the last two girls I have been dating beleived that the man should pay whenever we went out. I'm not tight, but am totally used to splitting the cost of drinks and meals with my date. In the UK, most girls see it as outdated and even offensive for the man to insist that he always pays.
Are the two girls I dated typical of New York girls?
Are the two girls I dated typical of New York girls?
My experience with Brits is quite the opposite, of course. A guy who insisted on planning an elaborate night out and then paid for it for a first date would be perceived as some weird stalker type who wants to propose marriage immediately thereafter, so it's just best to avoid it. When I finally realized that the mating and dating rules were different (avoid the restaurant, and just meet for drinks at the pub, trading rounds), I did a lot better.
In the US, women expect to be taken out and have their stuff purchased for them, at least at first. If you find one who doesn't, she's either unusual or (more likely) trying to communicate a clear message to you that you are "just friends" and are not out on a date (so don't expect a tour of her apartment or any of the benefits that come with the tour.)
Apr 19th 2008, 2:42 pm
#51
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2008
Location: Just outside of decency
Posts: 7,837
Apr 19th 2008, 2:49 pm
#52
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
Posts: 8,497
Re: Dating in NYC
I've always offered to pay my fair share - so I don't know that this is a consistent rule in the U.S - but I wouldn't make a federal case of it. If the bill came and the guy went to pay I would usually say "can I help you with that?" or similar. If they refused I dropped it and thanked them. After the first couple of dates though I think going dutch is much more common. Granted my info is about 7 years out of date now.
Apr 19th 2008, 3:00 pm
#54
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,542
Re: Dating in NYC
A lot of things make sense now, like why a many of us here ended up marrying US men!
I have always paid my way, it is a matter of personal pride. When I went on a date it was about getting to know someone not a financial transaction.
I think my DH is an honorary Yorkshire man, he hated the idea that he had previously had to prove himself financially when dating.
I have always paid my way, it is a matter of personal pride. When I went on a date it was about getting to know someone not a financial transaction.
I think my DH is an honorary Yorkshire man, he hated the idea that he had previously had to prove himself financially when dating.
Apr 19th 2008, 3:02 pm
#55
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
Posts: 8,497
Re: Dating in NYC
I don't agree with your comment the classier the dame the more she spends on herself to look good...in fact I would say it's the opposite. A classy lady would already have a good haircut thus no need to go to the hairdressers, nice nails, 'gardening' and suitable outfits to wear.
A shower, nice clean (pressed generally) clothes, make-up, jewelry, perfume, and maybe adding a little curl to my hair and I'm out the door.But when I was dating in my early twenties - I did well paying my rent, car payment, and for other necessities. I've been financially independent since I was 22, and at first it wasn't easy. I wouldn't have had $245 to spend prepping for a date, and wouldn't do it today either. The kind of guy I like wouldn't be into all that.
Apr 19th 2008, 3:03 pm
#56
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
Posts: 8,497
Re: Dating in NYC
How awful. I've always just thought offering to pay was something a well-mannered man did ... but not that he was providing his financial worth.
Apr 19th 2008, 3:05 pm
#57
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Mother Land.
Posts: 14,858
same here 
Apr 19th 2008, 3:10 pm
#58
SUPER MODERATOR
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 88,023
Re: Dating in NYC
Here's the average cost of a days prepping for a date.
Haircut if needed $60
Mani-pedi $50
Garden work $20
New outfit $75
Mad money $40 (emergency funds)
So on average for the first date it comes to about $245. Some of the things that I mentioned aren't done by some. However the classier the dame the more she spends on herself to look good. Let's not forget the makeup supply that she has to keep stocked. All the potions she uses in the shower and after to smell like a woman. The time spent in up keep between appointments. Spending some cash on some nice lingerie so that the wrapper is nice all the way through. Very few women can look good au natural. The 99% percent of the rest of us have to do some work to keep you interested. We ladies are in competition with each other to be the one that gets that second look. It's aggressive and dog eat dog out there. We know you like to have someone who looks pretty hanging off your arm. We're a reflection of who you are as a men. We just do a really good job of making it look effortless. You guys only see the work we go through if you are living with your girlfriend, wife, or have experience with sisters. Even then we hid some of our beauty routines from you.
Just know there are days I wish I could roll out of bed at 6:30 and be ready and looking good by 6:45 but there's no way in hell that's gonna happen. Not if I have anything to say about it. You men have it easy in this regard.
Haircut if needed $60
Mani-pedi $50
Garden work $20
New outfit $75
Mad money $40 (emergency funds)
So on average for the first date it comes to about $245. Some of the things that I mentioned aren't done by some. However the classier the dame the more she spends on herself to look good. Let's not forget the makeup supply that she has to keep stocked. All the potions she uses in the shower and after to smell like a woman. The time spent in up keep between appointments. Spending some cash on some nice lingerie so that the wrapper is nice all the way through. Very few women can look good au natural. The 99% percent of the rest of us have to do some work to keep you interested. We ladies are in competition with each other to be the one that gets that second look. It's aggressive and dog eat dog out there. We know you like to have someone who looks pretty hanging off your arm. We're a reflection of who you are as a men. We just do a really good job of making it look effortless. You guys only see the work we go through if you are living with your girlfriend, wife, or have experience with sisters. Even then we hid some of our beauty routines from you.
Just know there are days I wish I could roll out of bed at 6:30 and be ready and looking good by 6:45 but there's no way in hell that's gonna happen. Not if I have anything to say about it. You men have it easy in this regard.
Garden work...for a first date? I don't think a classy lady would let him anywhere near her garden on a first date...I certainly haven't.
Apr 19th 2008, 3:13 pm
#60
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Mother Land.
Posts: 14,858
