Dating in NYC
 

Turns out the last two girls I have been dating beleived that the man should pay whenever we went out. I'm not tight, but am totally used to splitting the cost of drinks and meals with my date. In the UK, most girls see it as outdated and even offensive for the man to insist that he always pays.

Are the two girls I dated typical of New York girls?

Re: Dating in NYC
 

It wasn't always that way with the women I dated in NY. I do think however that NY women are picky about the guys they date and expect a show of your monetary worth to some extent, and I guess the ones like that would see it as a bad sign if you didn't pay on the first date. I would expect after the first date things to even out though, and certainly wouldn't expect to pay all the time. If I knew that the girl wasn't in as well paid job as me then I would continue to pay but if they didn't at least offer after a couple of dates I probably wouldn't want to continue a long term relationship with them as I would be suspicious of their motives.

Re: Dating in NYC
 

You're not in the UK anymore... if you want action in NY, you'll have to behave like a New Yorker. Back in my dating days, it was a pleasant surprise to have her offer to share the cost, but I always was prepared and willing to pay.

Re: Dating in NYC
 

Its not a NY thing its the country in general, I get a look of total shock from men when I offer to pay my half, from what most have told me, and ladies I know its not all of you, but, most men reckon that the chicks expect it and before they even meet them the questions are "how much do you earn? "What do you drive"? LOL I have american girlfriends who will not date a guy the 2nd time if he does not open his wallet :eek:

Re: Dating in NYC
 

They got it right. Here in the US it is customary for the man to pay each and every time. Of course, not all women are like that but the "girls" certainly are. I remember how shocked my American boyfriend was when I offered to pay for dinner one night and another time offered money for the gas and tolls. After the initial shock wore off and we got engaged, we shared the expenses.

If a female invites you for dinner, drinks or a movie, then it is assumed that she will pay the cost. You might be generous and offer to split the cost with her and/or let her pay for the first round and you the second.

But if you are only casually dating, you are stuck with the bill.

Re: Dating in NYC
 

To be fair the first couple of dates are a given. If things are going well then splitting the costs is a fair thing. It all depends on the income discrepancy I think on how often going Dutch occurs.

Re: Dating in NYC
 

I think that a woman should offer even on the 1st date that's my opinion and as for the 2nd well definitely offer,I would hate them to think I was just with them for their money, which makes it difficult for me as I probably earn more then they do..:unsure:

Re: Dating in NYC
 

I think it's a matter of culture more so than not. Some guys actually get offended if you assume that they can't pay on the first date. Some of them think it's a badge of honour that they can pay for a ladies night out. However it does get old quickly and the equity of it has to shift early on. More so now these days than back when my parents were dating.

Re: Dating in NYC
 

On the first and second dates, I feel that the person who did the inviting should be the one to pay the expenses. After the second date if you go out again, I would most certainly pay either the entire cost or at least offer to split it. Or if a woman feels uncomfortable doing that then make dinner one night and rent a movie or buy the movie tickets online and let him by the popcorn. Some men might take it as an insult if you offer to pay. At least that is true of my generation.

Re: Dating in NYC
 

Thanks for the info. Seems I need to revise my expectations... or start dating Brits.

Re: Dating in NYC
 

... or expand your horizons and date non-Americans.:)

Re: Dating in NYC
 

All guys like a woman who offers, and all women like a guy who pays.

I've never let a woman pay for dinner, pretty much ever. Even my 'friends' (i.e. non-romantic) who are women. Guess I'm a bit stubborn.

Re: Dating in NYC
 

Are you still single?:lol:

Re: Dating in NYC
 

Now I know why my husband was in complete shock when I paid for his meal.

Re: Dating in NYC
 

Not me, I'm fully liberated. If them paying for the date makes them feel empowered, well then I'm all for that. As long as they don't expect anything from me afterwords, just because you bought me dinner doesn't mean I "owe" you anything!:curse: