I agree with Lyonsden. I think you should make your next goal staying long enough to get citizenship for your kids and then decide where you and your wife want to make your home. You will leave the door open for your kids to make their own decisions in the future, and they will love you for it.

I've read several stories on here about young adults who had green cards as children but their parents didn't get citizenship for them and/or gave up their kids' green cards. Now the young adults want to go back to the US but have no route to do so...

My advice is to think through the consequences of staying here not just for you, but for your children. Healthcare access and retirement (for you) are the two big issues imo. You've been here long enough to know what a shambles healthcare access is, especially for those without a job. One thing I never thought of when I decided to stay here is that my children may end up uninsured post-graduation. I've always had great insurance through my employment and never gave much thought to how it might affect my children. The healthcare reform act now helps in this regard as you can insure children up to age 26 on one's own employer-provided insurance. Also think through whether you have the financial means to insure yourselves in the event of job-loss. I know the one thing that would make me at my age leave is no health insurance.

Hear, Hear. totally agree with you. I think they really need to take the healthcare issue on board. I never thought about it seriously until last year when all of a sudden I was in hospital being told I may not work again (didnt turn out that way..phew!) and BTW you also have an anuerysm we need to monitor.. and there went the cost of the healthcare premium for my company at renewal time.

I regret not sending my daughter back to the UK to attend uni. I feel if we had there would have been a good chance she would have stayed in the UK after graduating. She feels a pull back to the UK...but her life and commitments are now in Toronto. She often wishes we had never moved. It would certainly make our decision on which country to retire to much easier if she was in the UK.

Really good points. When you move over, you're generally just thinking, "This is fine, we have health insurance through the job" but your own kids suddenly grow up and that issue looms for them.

It's so hard to tell what's best without a crystal ball.

I know . My daughter is very happy in Toronto...but it won't be easy for any of us if hubby and I move back to the UK. She feels the pull back to the UK like many of us do...we can't help it England is in our blood.

Her future MIL asked me why we would move back...the answer is simple...it's home. I also think of where we live now as home...but it's on a different level...if that makes sense.

I wouldn't have taken any of this on board before I moved even if I had known about BE and someone had told me...but yes, England is in our blood and even though I'm doing a lot of integrating lately with my volunteer work, I still always feel like an outsider. The ramifications for our kids' lives are enormous and I do wince at the 'kids are adaptable' phrase so often thrown around on here. It's hard for them, and yes they do adapt, but then where does that leave us?

P.S. Swisstony, I had to tell my husband that someone thought you were Swiss, he said, "Remember that dual nationality is very much like making love to a beautiful woman..."

That certainly makes sense to me. I think most would agree that initially its the big adventure and a chance to do something different with our lives. I think if I had it to do again with what I now know, it would be a very hard choice. I love living over here but them homeland heartstrings do tug real hard especially as relatives get older and you realise that with some of them your face time visits may be counted on the fingers of one hand.

I have the same issue with my parents.

They keep running off to places distant and I've hardly seen them in the past 10 years.

PS: even though they are in the US now, they may as well be in another country.

When I moved to the US it wasn't intended to be a permanent thing. Now, though, I'm pretty settled here and have a family of my own. It just hit me a little while ago that this has become somewhat of a permanent thing.

The downsides of settling here permanently are that I've missed out on nieces and nephews growing up. Also, some of my older relatives have passed away, and my own parents are getting older...there's something very difficult about being away while these things are happening, even though we're not a very close family. However, I have more family out of the UK than in, so at least I don't feel as if all my family are in one place and I'm out here by myself. It's hard to make a decision to settle down somewhere else, and I imagine it must be harder with kids. Best of luck...it's the expat curse I think, people who've lived in only one country can't really compare it with anywhere else, but as expats, we're always going to compare one place to another and perhaps feel trapped between the two.

Thanks! I just laughed out loud and spilt my coffee!

I don't see the connection between taking the new job and staying in the US permanently. You can take the job and not stay in the US permanently.

Whether you think you are somewhere permanently or not doesn't alter the fact that things can change quickly - permanent stays can become temporary stays and vice versa.

I used to think I was living in the UK permanently. Then I went to Canada temporarily (on a temporary work visa) but liked it so much I decided to obtain PR and finally citizenship. I bought a house, got a new job and had 2 kids. Next thing I know, I'm heading back to the UK permanently. That became a temporary stay when we moved to the US. We thought we were in the US permanently but now my daughter is heading back to Canada for university and we're all getting itchy feet again. Who knows what the future will bring?

So don't worry too much above whether something is temporary or permanent. You can't really know for sure anyway. Just live your life to the full as much as possible. If the new job is a good move, then go for it.

This is a perfect example of how life can take a left turn at any time. Go for what makes you happy.

on a lighter note... maryland ned ... are you hiding from someone?? or are you just doing the world tour

I think the main issue is your kids. If they are young it really doesn't make a difference but as they get older it does.

We are in a similar position. Came on a L1A and switched to Green cards . My boys are both in High School and we have now planned to stay until they both finish HS which coincidentally coincides for when we can apply for USA citizenship. At that point we will move to either Hawaii or back to Europe with our new shiny blue passports in the suitcase.

As much as we enjoy NJ and NYC we don't envisage living here for ever....

Life can change very quickly. Long term planning is fine but medium and short term are probably the more important.