anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Hi guys,

I'm a British citizen and I've been here (Corona, CA) since last June ('07) and i just cannot get use to living here. No matter what mindset i try to adopt, trying to maintain a positive outlook, i just cant adjust to the way of life over here....I don't understand why i cant just accept the way things are over here and just move on. I've lived abroad a few times, S. Korea for 2 years, Taiwan for 1 year, spent months backpacking all over South East Asia (had some pretty funky experiences) and adjustment has never been an issue, until i moved to California. It's the little things i can't get my head around, like, driving everywhere, the way people drive here (IMO is sooo bad), the pre-fab housing, shopping malls, California seems to be carpeted with malls and chain stores that add to a cultureless society ... It took ages (still going through the process) to get the visa to live and work here, but now I'm thinking was it all worth it?

Has anyone else had this problem adjusting or is it just me, or is it just California? How long did it take you guys do feel 'settled in'. Am i expecting to much? I'm not normally a complainer but as you can see I'm finding it pretty hard settling in here....

Cheers..:o

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

i nearly choked when i read pre fab housing!! oh u took the words out of my mouth! They have that so that when the hurricane comes it just takes the houses with it on the tracks so we can build new in its place!!! less hassle that way and less debris. ( they aint heard the song of the three little pigs)

I find u either love it or u hate it, or u just get used to it. I am lucky that with my job i can go home pretty much when i want, so am making the most of that. The land of milk and honey it isnt, but there are some pretty neat things here that are not back home. As with everything, u only live once, so if u hate it that much ... leave!!! I find also that with a bunch load of close friends its easier. There are times when i really do shake my head though and think... only in America!!!

It took me a while but i am ok now, wish I had a brick house though with radiators and not this blowing crap at 3 in the morning. I pray for peace and quiet sometimes...

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

I arrived at about the same time as you. I'm not struggling to adjust as such, even though everything is so very different, but then, I didn't intend to stay here, but met Mr W(onderful) and ended up married to him.

I'd like to move from suburbia to the older part of Sac which, in my opinion, has a bit more character, somewhere where I could walk to a restaurant that isn't on a car park, or that doesn't have a menu that's replicated every 3 miles (Chilli's, olive garden blah blah blah).

So I think what I'm saying is that what your finding isn't unique. I too find it a bit soulless in California, but I'm working towards a compromise for me and Mr W.

Lets face it, if we're trying to compare the US to the UK we're on a road to nowhere. It's different, there are good things and bad things. I sold my UK house last year - it was a converted church built in 1827, and the yanks think something built in 1927 is prehistoric! so our terms of reference are going to be completely different.

Anyway, enough rambling from me, I hope that you find a solution to your issues and are happy wherever you decide to settle

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

America is what we doctors call massive, really big. I mean its phenominally, ridiculously gynormous! ;)
There is actually a lot of diversity across the place as far as climate, local personalities and culture goes.

You are in a part of the country that has history alright.
The 60's, 70's and 80's (and the 90's - but they were a bit naff!) :p

If you have the time, money and energy why not try somewhere else and see how it goes? There really are places here where the history goes back 300 years and the feel is quite "villagey" :)

Bon chance.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

I'm a yank, so can't really talk to adjusting. Though I admit I might find parts of California difficult.

There are so many different places, cultures, landscapes in the U.S. There are small towns where you can walk around and shop. There are places miles and miles from shopping malls. No pre-fab houses anywhere near where I live for example.

If one place isn't for you - try looking for another. Travel around a bit if you're able...

Welcome - and good luck!

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

I see the problem:D, Corona, CA is not exactly an all American town. People here in Orange county (OC) thinks that the San Bernadinians should be required to take visa to come to OC:rofl:

If you don't like to drive then you have to move to a big city either San Francisco or Manhattan. Other small towns are nice but public transportation at night is bad or non existence, me thinking Lawrence, Kansas, beautiful college town with good public transpotation (day time).

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

I have been in the USA since 1999 and go back twice a year to England, except for the last 14 months, ( hopefully athe final stage of residency ) I am now in Florida and have visited 26 of the states and lived from NY to Maryland 5 of those years, I understand all too well where you are coming from. There is no doubt that this is one of the most beautiful/diverse Countries in the world but the lifestyle is difficult to adjust to, even now it is difficult for me and get very homesick, thankfully I kept my house in London ...... I often wonder if my problem comes from being a City person. I think you need to vent off steam with other Brits ..... you will feel better and find that they have the same difficulties as you, for me worse now as it's the longest I have been away. I know this is of little help but know you are not alone. Zed ;)

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

20 years and counting. Still working on it :unsure:

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Look into my eyes...

you are feeling sleepy...

look into my eyes...

you are one of us....

you are like everybody else...

we are your friends....

you love surburbia....

you love minivans and SUVs....

you love baseball, basketball and football...

you like croissants with ham and cheese...

you are one of us...

...we will assimilate you!

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

meh.

Having a job helps...hasn't really bothered me that much though...but a lot probably depends on circumstances, how old you are when you move, if you have a family or not etc.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Off topic... I used to live in a small village in the UK, where there was still a blacksmith, anyway, the blacksmith took his old Dad down the pub, and the Dad got chatting to this fella there.
The old boy asked "how long have you lived in XXXXX?", the fella responded, "oh, about 50 years now"
The old fella says "do you think you'll like it?"

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Get out know while you can or you're be just like the others here who hate it but are trapped in a life of misery.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Culture Shock, it takes a while to come to terms with it with some people. I had visited the states and Canada many times before moving here, and I still found myself having to adjust to living here. It gets easier if you don't allow homesickness to get in the way.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

I'm a wee bit surprised that my fellow peeps here in California have found the place a soul free zone.

I've had the opposite experience having lived in Los Angeles as well as being in the Bay Area now. There are plenty of museums such as the amazingly interesting Asian Art Museum, SF Moma and the soon to be spectacular Academy of Science and many more, maybe even too many galleries, both SF and LA have a great symphony, restaurants that create some of the best food (mind you - at a price) from around the world, countryside that encompasses forested areas, rugged coastline, beaches full of people as well as small quiet beaches, hiking trails, you can ski, shopping (for sure plenty of shops), book clubs..... the list goes on.

I agree with the house comparison but in a land that has earthquakes you probably don't want to be buried under a pile of bricks!

So my friends - get out! Explore, visit visit visit - you will have fun!

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

There are those that go out and enjoy life and those that prefer to take perverse pleasure in the own unhappiness.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

First off, for those of you (like me) who have no clue where Corona, CA is - http://maps.google.com/maps?q=Corona...99011&z=9&om=1 .

Just looking at the map, I can imagine the problem - eastern outskirts of LA. This is where people in LA (already a sprawling mass/mess) move to when they want more space to raise their families and don't have much money. It's probably like Milton Keynes. Please don't judge California, or the US, based on your experience here.

I love living in the US, and would not trade it for anywhere in the world. I would not go back to England for anything. I too have traveled around, and would probably name Thailand (of 30 years ago, anyway) as the most idyllic spot (in terms of people, culture, food, etc), but San Francisco is my version of a practical heaven-on-earth. San Francisco is not car-friendly; parking is outrageously expensive, and many apartments here don't have parking; they have great public transport, and a decent subway system (well, bart ... tolerable, though pathetic by tube standards!). It's surrounded by gorgeous landscape/scenery. It also happens to be 50 miles from Silicon Valley, where high tech jobs are a-plenty (which is why I call it 'practical' - it's a great place to live while earning a great wage). Mr Hewlett and Mr Packard formed HP just down the road in Palo Alto, and Intel is headquartered there, as are most of the 'big names' in computers - Symantec, Oracle, National Semiconductor, AMD, etc.

My first apartment here was a 1906 building with oak floors, tall ceilings, mahogany windows and doors, and a rickety elevator with one of those sliding metal doors you had to push to the side.

San Franciso is less than 50% white (44% in 2005; ~30% Chinese/Asian). That means, it's culturally diverse. You can eat some of the best food in the world here. You can feel at home with your non-conformist views (should you have them). To rednecks, San Francisco is the devils playground. At times, it's more left wing than Russia, and if you aren't weirded out enough by SF then you can always cross the bay and go to Berkeley, which is even more wild and crazy.

It was the heart of the hippie movement in the 60's; you can still go to Haight/Ashbury and buy a bong or a tie-die t-shirt, and there are anti-<your favorite enemy> demonstrations all the time. Ken Kesey lived here, and it's where the 'acid tests' were staged (read 'the electric kool-aid acid test'), and it's where he lived when he wrote 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' (here and in La Honda, 40 miles south). I'm just a tad too young to have experienced the '60s' first hand, but the memory and style lives on.

In short, it's a very European city, and quite unlike most of the US. It's simply wonderful.

Go there, check it out, hike up Mt. Tamalpais, visit Muir Woods. Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge. If you don't like it, I'll refund your expenses :)

You won't find ancient history in the US; but recent history abounds - the gold-rush; the space-race; the cold-war; the 60's hippie culture, the anti-vietnam movements, the development of semiconductors, etc. These were all things I remember reading about when growning up in England.

I don't think you mentioned what brought you here. May help to know!

PS - much of the above applies to Chicago, New York, Boston, and other cities. I know many people in New York who don't own cars; they walk everywhere. LA is different; it's kinda unique; a giant, overgrown suburb (though - Santa Monica is not bad!).

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

If I had a dollar for every "culture shock" post I've read on BE, I could retire a rich man ...

It's perfectly normal and loads of us have gone through it. But don't be mistaken in thinking it's a country phenomenon. It's a place phenomenon. And you don't even have to move from one state to another to realize it. As others have said on here, you could move within the state of CA and find a place that culturally suits you down to the ground. I lived in Athens, GA for 4 years, a small-ish town in Georgia that is unlike any other small town in Georgia and unlike any major cities in Georgia ... because it is home to the University of Georgia. There are all kinds of single factors like that which can make a place your cultural heaven or cultural hell....

I have had consaiderable culture shock in my time (Springfield MA, even Athens, GA when I fist arrived, and currently still having major trouble adjusting to life back in the UK), and at other times have adjusted immediately to new places (Nassau, Bahamas, middle Tennessee), and in others have found that although I didn't have huge adjustment problems, I was always "uneasy", never quite feeling at home but never hating it either.

My advice is to leave and go somewhere else - but don't leave the US just yet. Give it a chance, it can be the greatest place on this planet for some people. :thumbup:

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Old Sac is not bad. Also, give Davis look; it's a college town, and I've heard it has a bit of a 'pedestrian culture'. A former British colleague of mine moved there from the Bay Area for economic reasons, and enjoys it. I presume Auburn and Placerville are too far away (and a bit small anyway).

I presume you are referring to the 'cookie-cutter', tract housing that is all around in these new areas. I agree it's ugly, but don't forget that not all UK housing is thatched cottages and stately homes. This is the street I grew up on in Lancashire; much of the town looked identical to this. To me, it's a bit nostalgic to look at, but by any objective view it's generic and ugly.
http://www.sequoiahills.com/Blackbur...dSt1-1-150.jpg

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

One of the first things I noticed where I first visited here (Tennessee) was that the houses weren't all the same like in the UK so I guess it does vary massively as to where you live in the country. I moved from Salisbury in the UK where although there's a lot of old houses there's also a lot of brand new ones all built to look exactly the same. Here people seem to just build bits on to their house even if they've never seen a hammer before in their life so it makes them all look different.

Having said that I moved across to be with my wife and spent the last 2 years in the uk with my life on hold so maybe that's made it easier for me to adjust.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

the funny thing is that depending on where you go (and I never go to these places) you can easily find yourself in a souless subdivision of 300 houses with 4 different designs in TN also

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Pretty much agree with this. I live in San Francisco and have never lived anywhere with such a variety of stuff to do, places to visit, and interesting people to meet. Give me SF any day over most places in the UK.

As for houses, in earthquake country I certainly wouldn't want to be living in something other than a wood- or steel-framed building.

Otoh, I do think that American suburbs are almost completely soulless. Cookie cutter housing, malls etc etc. No thanks.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

I think it's an individual thing I have lived in Australia, Portugal, Spain, Indonesia,Canada,Corfu,spent my childhood in France and love Cali more then any of them I guess its just where you feel comfortable.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

I moved from England to Texas in Feb 2005 and then I moved from Texas to California in April. Talk about culture shocks. We are only in CA for a year. I'm looking forward to leaving here. It was an experience, one I am glad I took (I always thought I was missing something living in Texas, and longed for the bright lights of LA or New York).
California (IMO) is faceless, dirty, and lacking community spirit. What you drive and what you earn are what define you.
Get out, run for your life, save yourself . . . :rofl:

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

I pretty much agree with what Steerpike said. San Francisco is a great place to live in. It is quite European and it's good for an easy transition to living in the US.

I have a friend who used to live in Corona and she absolutely HATED it! And she was born and raised in US :eek: Couldn't wait to move out and coincidentally she moved to San Francisco!

One of my really close friends who lives in Edinburgh came here to visit last year and he didn't really like L.A or New York. But Edinburgh is such a gorgeous city, no wonder didn't like L.A or New York. However, he loved all the beach cities, like Santa Monica and near Manhattan Beach. Not really Newport though.

I really hope you find a place in SoCal that you like! :D

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Hello there administrator.

Who are you? :)

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Weird............ only 2 posts, and only just joined!! :ohmy:

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

And if you search for posts - only the obove ONE shows up. Dunno where the other one is. Very weird.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Hello!

I'm one of the community people from Internet Brands, hence, the adminstrator title :o
My name's Beenish btw :)

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Haha oh my other one is in the moderator section so it's nothing like the Twilight Zone :lol:

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Hello then Beenish, nice to meet you.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Nice to meet you too Tracy :D

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Damn ..I hate changes ...

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

soiled your nappy again have you? :p

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Sounds like yet another So Cal (Southern California) experience to me! After 24 years here, I have to say, I'm now finding some good spots in the greater LA area when I have to visit there - Santa Monica, downtown Pasadena, etc - but it is NOT a place you should head for on a first visit, if you want to avoid culture shock.

I would say that, even though San Francisco and LA are both in California they are vastly different. Culturally, SF is closer to Boston, Chicago, NY. All these cities are tight communities, car-unfriendly, have significant public transit systems, densly populated (in a good way), very cosmopolitan. LA is closer in culture to Dallas, Houston, Atlanta - the more modern, sprawling cities that have a freeway culture, and where public transit is an afterthought.

Every place here has its merits, but in order to avoid culture shock on first arrival, I would recommend one of the former list of cities as a starting point. Starting out in Dallas, LA, Atlanta could be tough. Seek out an older, established neighborhood with some character.

SF has a major, major homeless problem at the moment, ironically because it is a caring and compassionate city. The rumor is, everywhere else in the country sends their homeless here because SF won't throw them in jail like everywhere else.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Careful... I am only now getting used to you being here ...

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

:lol:

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Certainly the homeless are tolerated far more than most other places, and this usually ends up being counterproductive in that the homeless issue becomes essentially 'untouchable' politically. Otoh, aside from Southern California, if you're going to be homeless, the climate in SF is probably the best place to do it in that it doesn't suffer from extremes of cold and heat. Being homeless in NY would literally be a rather more chiiling experience than being homeless in SF.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

I was gonna say that too Tracy. California is huge! I have been to Corona a few times.. the drivers scare the shite out of me.. we actually saw a fatal accident happen right in front of us on the freeway. I don't think you can say that one town is representative of the whole of California. You want something different.. and you worked hard to get here, so I wouldnt just give up based on the limited experience you have of the US.

The whole country is your oyster.. but then you might be allergic to shellfish.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

I am pleased you said it and you are right...Plus NoCal is like a different state much nicer we are in the valley move here we will look after you :)

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

I went to UGA thus my nick!

Woohoo! Goooo DAWGS!!! Sic'em! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!

http://www.bk.psu.edu/faculty/ramsey/uga.jpg