Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Every now and then there's a move to split it into 2 states.
Named, naturally: Northern California and Mars.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Ah, so you do belong the Mad Hatter's club? Any free passes available?

;)

---

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

You know that would not be such a bad idea as we are certainly that far apart in our life style and culture here.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Whats the difference between LA and Yoghurt (yogurt)?
Yoghurt has culture. :p

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

at one time even three states: northern, central, and southern california.

for the most part i've lived in central california; spent 4 years down south and was so glad when i returned.

that said, my experience moving from base to base prior to living in california did get me used to visiting the local attractions and enjoying what made each place and the people living there special.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Sorry to read that you are having problems adjusting but in some cases it will pass, really depends on your outlook. Either you give it your 100% or you give in and go home or else where.

There are many places to live, if you are getting really depressed them maybe it is time for you to move on.

Eitherway, I hope you find the happiness you are looking for.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Benjpie,

Hi. I grew up in North Carolina and wouldn't live in California, the southern part at least, for all the money in the world.

I'm sorry you're unhappy. I lived in Oregon one year and thought I'd died and gone to he@@. It's a different kind of culture, I suppose on the west coast.

I live in Indiana now and love it.

Hope you get it resolved and find a place you love soon.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

I moved to California in 1999, and HATED it for the first two or three years. I moved here from Cornwall, so it was a massive culture shock, and I felt all the things you are feeling now. It felt plastic and soul-less somehow. I still feel that sometimes, but I have also made it my home, so I can see the beauty in it as well. There are plenty of Californians who aren't plastic and fake and stuffed with cotton wool (that was the mental image I had when I moved here- cut into a Californian (not ACTUALLY cut, I am not a sadist ;) ) and you would find cotton wool, not blood!) I have some great friends here now, some who are British, but many who are American.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Benjipe

I know exactly how you feel. I moved to San Antonio TX after living in Durham for 3 years. Immigration was so difficult and now im living here thinking- was this worth all the heartache and money??? Half the time when i wake up in the morning i feel like ive woken up in some kind of hell hole.

Regarding the majority of the advice for moving to somewhere you feel more comfortable- we are definitely planning on it ( my american husband hates it here too- in fact he would much prefer to live in England) when we have enough money. I was thinking San Fran, so hearing others talking about it is encouraging

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

I moved to San Francisco 24 years ago, after 6 wonderful years in London (before that, 18 uneventul years in the dreary Northwest of England!). I've loved virtually every minute of it, and I wake up every day happy to be here. As part of my job I've travelled around the US extensively, and also taken extensive road trips for vacations, and I have yet to find a place that comes close to San Francisco in terms of the atmosphere, the people, the attitude, etc. I've enjoyed the 'big city' excitement of New York and Chicago; the sheer beauty of Santa Fe; the wonder of Zion, Bryce, Grand Canyon; the beauty and weather of San Diego; the desert beauty of Tucson; but nothing comes close to San Francisco in terms of a place to live, to return to, to feel comfortable in.

If I can be of any assitance, let me know (send me a PM) - I can give you plenty of advice about where to live, what the options are, etc.

When I first came to the US, I stated in Peoria, Illinois. I knew there was something about the work ethic and the optimism of the people that was 'right' for me, but Peoria did not exactly float by boat. I told people there I was going to California to look for a job, and they all told me I was nuts; "it's too expensive"; "full of weirdo's"; etc. I came anyway (in '83). When I got to SF, many people told me I was crazy to buy property there, but (after a couple of years of very hard work) I scraped together the $10k deposit on a $100k condo and never looked back. My point is, if you want to make it happen, you can do it. Don't listen to people who say it's not possible. At least, keep an open mind! I came here with zero money and no friends, and have a wonderful existence here. I wouldn't trade it for anywhere in the world.

Good Luck!

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

I started here in Bloomington Il no wonder we love Cali no comparison :D

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Thanks for the encouragment :)

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

You are so so so true with your comments.:thumbup:

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

I agree.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

I strongly suggest you watch the movie the "pursuit of happyness"

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

One key difference -- you won't find roundabouts in Corona.

Otherwise, sure. Faceless suburbia, designed around the car and the dream of tract homeownership. Unless you want to cocoon with the better half and the 2.2 children, not an optimal living environment. If you're a swingle, it's probably two steps removed from hell on earth.

The first question is why you chose Corona, of all places. If you can choose differently, I'd do so. (If you're tied to a job, then you may have to trade off a better locale for a longer commute. Try to plan the commute carefully, as traffic can and probably should affect your choice of residence.) If you insist on having brick buildings and can't accept the notion of stucco and parking lots, then you should probably leave California altogether. But assuming you just want a walkable neighborhood with a decent local bar, then you need to escape the manufactured suburbs of exurban LA, and find something closer in. Perhaps Claremont or Pasadena might work for you.

I'm American, by the way, yet I have empathy for your dislike of the Inland Empire. (They got it half-right -- it's inland, to be sure, but far from imperial.) It would be disingenuous to pretend that Corona-style suburbs are the exception, when they are often the rule. But there are exceptions, and you should look for them.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

There is the expression which goes a bit like: "You cannot set sail when your eyes are on the shore".
You can, indeed, take your eyes off the shore, give it 100% and then come to a totally different conclusion. :blink:

There really should be books written about this stuff and handed out on planes. :D

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Yes.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

[QUOTE=RoadWarriorFromLP;5700497]One key difference -- you won't find roundabouts in Corona.

We have lots of roundabouts in Carmel.:thumbsup:

Merry Christmas

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

:rofl:

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Yep, me too. Been here in wonderful Detroit since 2005 and I still cannot come to terms with it. It just gets me everyday, people just don't seem to care about anything. Surface value only: High how are you today? With a false smile... No public transportation and the big three (GM, Ford & Chrysler) have for the first time in history managed to curb their gas guzzlers slightly. Brrrrr. I was born and raised in Cambridge (UK), grew up in Germany, spent several years in a titchy village outside of Frankfurt with a handful of houses and one pub - even spent nearly a year in Antwerp/ Belgium. Everything is different, but the US is the pits and I cannot cope with their attitude.
Came hear because of my job and now wife:wub: (she is American, but from the other side- Oregon) - she is studying and doing her Masters in Library and Information Science.
At first we thought we would both adapt, but that is just not happening. Even my wife thinks it is very strange here (she spent 6 years abroad before coming back with me) and she has problems understanding people and their motives. For me it is worse, I can barely understand some of the language and expect things to be done right first time. I know, a grave mistake in the US. doing it right would cost resources. Doing it cheap is the maxim around here. We just moved into our new (old) house. We used to live in a 5 year old house in a sub where the neighbours even didn't say helo or anything. In September we moved into a "historic" area where everything is from the 1920's and we finally have a brick house with real walls. Nothing compared to where I lived in Germany, but close. Things look a little better around here, people talk and invite each other over for stuff, which is very unusual for Detroit.
Things are just sooo different - the language, the non-existent food (quality is very poor, I take my workcrew on sponsored events and have had three food poisonings in 6 months!), the non existent environmental issues, the way to do things and it just goes on... Guess it really got me today!?! Have had a wonderful Christmas with my wife 'n two kids, really, the best one in years - but as soon as I look out the window, I say to myself: I hate this place, can't help it.
Well, what keeps me going is the thought, that in two years time, we will have a big family discussion of what to do next, stay here, move to Oregon, go back to Germany - or as I would like- to go back to England, even though I have not lived there for the last 18 years.
Don't suppose there are any brits near Detroit?? Come over, I'll do a nice stuffed duck and open a bottle or two. Merry Crimbo!

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Problems adjusting yes, mainly in many ways because my daughter and I are doing much better than my wife who has had some very rough days.
Got a couple of parachutes so we do not need to get too stressed.
Its hard moving anywhere and can like all bloody major undertakings go tits up.
Not just moving overseas as well know a fair number who moved few hundred miles in UK to very different parts of country from my own area and hated it, that eextra dosh ain't always worth it.
Segmenting my stay into blocks is helping me and my job will see me regularly back to UK so I can get a regular fix.
I look at it that first block is 12 months see how we feel if we still feel naffed off we will do 1 more year after that then do one but that can of course change.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

That's because you live in sucky Detroit. I have family up there and don't understand why they stay there. Actually I know, but there are so many other areas that are much better than there. Oregon would be one of them. You'll LOVE Oregon over Detroit guaranteed. Don't judge the US by one city.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

I hate to put any place down - every place has it's advantages, I'm sure - but Detroit ... ! If you weren't born there, don't have family there, it's just not a place to be right now.

Places have a momentum. Detroit was a happenin' place when the US auto industry was king; when gas was cheap, and the V8 Chevy with big fins ruled the road. The US auto industry is now in the dumpster, and so is Detroit. It hasn't yet found it's way forward; it's currently a crime-ridden place with high unemployment. Not a place I'd want to spend a weekend, let alone a year or two.

Compare Detroit to, say, Lancashire. I grew up there. It's a dump. It's a place to leave. It had it's heyday in the Industrial Revolution, when textiles were king, when work was plentiful. Times changed, and now all you see there are vacant mills and depressed people. I moved from Lancashire to London and it was like night and day (heaven and hell, more like!). Hard to believe London was on the same planet as Lancashire - full of energy, excitement, etc.

If you are from Cambridge, you'd probably like many east-coast cities with their ivy-league college towns, etc. Or the Bay Area, with Stanford and UC-Berkeley. Palo Alto is hard to beat.

If your wife is from the US, what forces you to stay in Detroit? Go to Oregon, the people are different - wonderful - find a job there. Go to CA, where there are lots of engineering jobs (if that's your gig). Compare the US not to, say, the UK, but rather to Europe, in terms of size, diversity, variety, etc. You can find climates like the Mediterranean (CA), you can find places poorer than Eastern Europe (the Appalachians), cities packed with gourmet food (SF, Seattle, San Diego, NY, Boston), etc. Politically, you can find ultra-liberal (SF), or deeply conservative (much of the rest :)). I'd say you'd have to try hard NOT to find someting infinitely superior to Detroit.

Good Luck!

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Hi

Could not let your post go bye with out responding.I can appreciate just how difficult a city Detroit is on many levels.What that city once was in its hay day it no longer resembles.I have family who've lived there for more than 40 years and one by one they are jumping ship before the vessel goes under. It doesn't inspire confidence and comfort to live in a place that recently won the award for murder capital of the United States.

The economy in michigan leaves alot to be desired which in effect has depressed the realestate market there years before the housing bubble birst.My first cousin who is struggling to sell her very nice home would like nothing more than to pack up and leave.I personally think her slow home sell is directly related to the undesirable reputation of detroit not to mention the national housing issues.

One of my other cousin's recently left detroit and moved to San Fransico and have no plans of coming back to Motown.I believe you and the wife can find many wonderful family friendly places in America just need to travel around the States abit and decide where best you feel comfortable.Places like Portland Oregon,Seattle Washington,Winter Park near Orlando florida & Sarasota Florida,Raleigh North Carolina,Phenoix Arizona,Denver Colorado and many other interesting cities would be great options .

My birth state is michigan and even I would find living there a very tough adjustment.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Thanks. I was well aware that Detroit sucked as we decided to take up the offer and come over and start anew. It was a major decision and we talked about this way and that way for weeks. Adventure won and we agreed. At that time I worked as a Logistic Coordinator for a partially GM owned 4PL in Frankfurt/DE. They paid the lot and off we went. Full of hope with a little fear, cause DET's reputation was not that grand. Things were bad, we knew that and we talked to several Michganders before moving-but to actually see all the depression around here is another thing. Things got gradually worse, the local economy continued to go down and take the housing market with it. To top all, GM decided we are making too much of a profit and have too much knowledge over them - they decided to buy the company flat out ( for a 3 digit number in Million USD, just to have access to the HR capital of 200 people) and went through end of 2006. Most of the expats (I came over with a bunch of Germans) did not get a job offered from GM. I had to suddenly marry (it was planned anyway and I proposed already before we relocated) in order to stay here. Then it got bad - the last working day came- we never really new "when" - it was up to GM to pull the plug. Two days before x-mas it happened - 30% of our staff was out of work and 70% had a job offer to go to GM (yeah, what a future). So here I was in the slump with dwindling reserves high cost of health insurance and no income and no job. I had several job offers, but due to the fact that I came over on a H1B visa I could not take them up and had to wait for my EAD card to work somewhere else. After putting on pressure with a Congressman - I at least got my EAD and was able to take up one of my offers from three months ago beginning of February 2007. Even though I had all interviews and several background checks for employment and airline security - my green card is not here yet. Not so bad, as long as it gets here till summer... need to get outta here then for a week or two and relax outside of the US.
After settling with my new job for a few years, I can apply for another post around the globe (once my Missus is finished with her studies). But for the next two years it will be DET like it or not. I have seen bad areas in other countries where I have worked (UK, Germany, Belgium) but this tops all.
There have been so many mistakes made in planning etc etc, Detroit hardly has a chance. Education, employment, funding, everything is spiraling down.
There are still some nice pockets of sanity and that is why we changed houses, so we are a little more at peace with our situation. And we know it doesn't have to be forever. Ok, gotta go- work calls I promised to deliver something, so I better get my butt in gear and log on to work. Sigh...
Thanks all for your thoughts. We will consider Oregon/Washington and go for a visit in summer (hurray for over three weeks paid hols).
Cheers, Paul.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Oregon/Washington is a complete 180 and I feel that you'll love it. If you need any tips for going on holiday there I'm your girl. I've been to that area twice and have enough guide books for a small travel office. Plus I can give you hints on where to stay (Priceline rocks!). I'd fly Southwest there as they are super cheap, especially when you book either through a Ding or 21 days out from your holiday. Just give me a holler.:cool:

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Paul you sound like a man with a plan.Best of luck to you and the wife.

P.S. Moving west is a good idea and if you like progressive places and people you will feel more at home in Washington state as well as Portland Oregon.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Best of luck!

Not sure what exact role in the auto industry you play, but CA has quite a bit of 'design' stuff going on. I know that Acura have their US HQ in Torrance, and I think Toyota US is here too. There is even a NUMMI plant here in the bay area (or was) - some sort of joint-venture between Toyota and GM http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NUMMI .

The bay area is on the high side, cost wise, but so are the salaries and the 'hidden' costs are low - low heating, low cooling, cheap groceries, etc.

The entire West Coast is great; the South has the better weather, the north has the edge on natural beauty (but the South is stunning too) and is less populated. LA is not a great place to 'start' for a European, while the Bay Area, Portland, and Seattle are relatively easy to adjust to.

If you are hooked on brick structures, etc, the West Coast is not for you. For that you need to stay East. But that doesn't mean you won't find charming structures out west.

I've heard of people "transferring" visas even though they are 'tied' to an employer; if you find the right job, you may be able to transfer without waiting out the period (but I'm no expert; plenty of those around here!).

Your comments about Detroit emphasize one of the problems with a highly mobile society such as the US; it's relatively easy to pick up and run when things turn sour, rather than stay and improve. It's why many inner-cities here are devastated - easier to move to the 'burbs and leave the problem behind. While this happens a bit in Europe, it's nowhere near as widespread. San Fransisco, which is surrounded by water on three sides, is naturally constrained from such easy migration, and may be one reason why it's a 'successful' city - busy, thriving center with atmosphere, excitement, energy, like most European cities. Just my little theory !

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Is Detroit really that shit, then? I've never seen such a unanimous bashing of a place - surely there's some good points???

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Best good point about Detroit imo is the fact my mom and dad met there got married and had me and my siblings.:thumbsup:Other than that can't think of many plus' about the place,well maybe memories of classic motown hits and how important the auto industry once was to America's industrialization.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

I hear they have quite a good art museum :thumbsup:

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Yup! There's been an extended exodus as of late. So yeah it's a POS town.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Personally I cannot think of any good point. Sure, DET has a great history, it just isn't a place to be right now. At least I can say that the cars are getting better and that GM might have won the turnaround to the way back into profit - but it will be a much smaller GM when all is done.
There are lots of little projects at the waterfront trying to stem the tide and make things attractive. Some areas are now quite reformed and "bubbly", but without long term commitment/planning and also attraction of capital - DET is doomed.
Currently everything still hinges on the big 3. If they suffer, so does the area with job loses and a declining market.
Well, that is at least my opinion. Some of the locals I used to work with don't talk/mail me anymore cause I didn't leave one good hair on DET and that seemed to hurt them personally. All in all Detroit still has a chance, but not much - think about how everything is dependent on the car & truck sales - they are dependent on gasoline.... Oil production will peak between 2030 and 2040 and prices will go up before then. The Giants in Asian - China & India are already competing directly for most of our resources and it will get hotter -hence, prices will go up and the US economy down. Already the US and China have directly stated: "We will not be denied Oil."....
So, has Detroit a future? There are also predictions that nationally the US has only a brief 5-7 year window in which to curb its oil consumption/dependency and develop alternatives and also change the lifestyle to reflect a different economical footprint. As is, the US uses 2.5 times more energy than the other "Industrial" Nations.
I guess when we disuss what to do and where to go in two years, we will have to slowly consider these scary facts too.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

Elvira,
you're right there. I have also heard good things about the Art Museum. On one day per week there is also free admission for most Museums.. Must confess though, that I have not made it to one Museum yet. Just not enough time right now. Come home from work and take over the two kids and my wife takes of studying/working. Used to live directly next to several Museums in DE and go now and again on rainy days. I should go, so I can compare.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

!

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

:rofl:

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

I've been here for nearly five years now and I still have days when I think "Is it really worth it?"... However, if you can get through the initial culture (or lack of it) shock, those days become less and less. :)

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

honey, you know what? i'm very sorry to say that it might be less of a problem of "adjusting" (from the UK) as it is the nightmare-that's-really-real that is american suburbia. Those pre-fab houses, strip malls and driving everywhere? They drive the Americans crazy too! EVERYONE's depressed and on prozac! I remember as a kid (yeah, I'm american) finally realizing one day what all those "happy face" pills the kids took at lunchtime were. Everyone has a therapist if they can afford it, or even if they can't. But a therapist can't magically transform the suburban wasteland into a fairytale magical kingdom, or even something simply more liveable. People that can't take it will move to a big city or like, an ashram or something if they can at all. There you'll find like-minded souls. Decent-sized university towns are a good bet, as they usually have nice architecture and grounds, lots multi-culti happenings and restaurants and stores and cafes which you can all walk to, intelligent, interesting people--students, professors, those drawn to the area, and even tuvan throat singers from inner mongolia giving performances on the weekends, even if the university is smack-dab in the middle of nowhere.

Re: anyone else have problems adjusting??
 

I saw this and just thought I'd give you an American in England's viewpoint.

1. Forget about openly speaking your mind to someone who's offended you or with whom you disagree.--you'll just be considered "rude."

2. Try to ignore all the piss-taking comedians and Brits in general take out of Americans, especially when they've never been to the country.

3. If you're an American involved with a Brit, ALWAYS expect to initiate any affection, such as a hug or a kiss. It's just not done here--Brits are too uptight.

4. Always undertip anyone who does you a service. They appreciate whatever little pence you throw their way.

5. NEVER expect the cashier at a grocery store to bag your groceries. Instead, expect the zombie to allow you to completely unload your cart before you scramble to the end to start manically shoving your purchases in bags. In this case, even sarcastic comments go unrecognized.

MORE TO COME...