meauxna

Oh dear, my condolences. Fingers crossed and all that.
If I ever recover from this last round, kitchen's next.

Rete

No, in the US men where undershirts under their t-shirts, sweaters, pullovers and/or dress shirts and the undershirt can either be with sleeves or a wifebeater. DH does not go out without his undershirt unless he is wearing a t-shirt because he prespires so much he needs the undershirt to soak up the sweat.

Bob

Some might not be here by choice though, so what's wrong with them venting amongst people who understand what they are going through rather than with local friends and neighbours who other wise might be great people but not understand the issues, or people might just not want to impose these issues on them.

surly

Nope I never said that, you did.
I said in light of the sort of things the bother you, plus a whole litany of how Americans and the USA compare so unfavorable with the UK, perhaps you should reconsider why you CHOOSE to live here.
Personally I couldn't care less whether anyone likes or dislikes it here, but I have never been given a satisfactory answer as to why the US haters continue to live here.

As for you being bullied and ganged up on. I have been ganged up on by people here who feel like you do. So welcome.

surly

Every expat here Bob is here by choice, not only by choice but by making a lot of effort to get here.
As it may turn out, a bad choice for them. but choice non the less.
If I didn't like it here I would be gone, simple as that.
Rather than venting, the effort might be better spent finding a way home a la Rushman.

Bob

Some here are because of family though, so your saying they should just not come because it wasn't their dream or get a devorce?

Life isn't black and white but shades of grey...you don't know what or whys for everyone being in the US and situations change and some really are in no position to leave even if they wanted to, either financially or because they have children etc and I think you are being terribly unfair on them with your pompos attitude to them.

snowbunny

Your point about having to make an effort to get here is noted.

However, if I hold a gun to your head, and ask you to do something you don't want to do, and you do it - did you make a choice? Or were you forced?

surly

I think the pomposity lies with those that claim Americans are stupid and one is unable to have a meaningful conversation or a close friendship with an American.
I've made some very bad choices in my life and had to deal with them, I don't cry about them it's the way life is.

surly

If anyone was forced to come to the US at gun point, the my sympathies would be with them?
Although even given the gun to the head analogy it would still be a matter of choice.

Rete

Don't think that analogy fits in with immigrating to the US. No one forced anyone to move to the US be it for love or money or betterment in life.

snowbunny

Switch it, then - now they want to leave, but it means leaving their families behind. That is the most common reason unhappy expats stay here. Some see this as a choice; others see it as being forced by circumstances, or an ex-spouse, or ...

N1cky

I feel forced to stay here as my husband's work is in a fairly specialised area, work in the UK was hard to come by before we moved out here and certainly not without commuting into London daily, where as its fairly easy to come across here.

However, thinking about it. We choose to want the nice 4 bed house with a garden, go on holiday every year and put our child through private education.

If we returned to the UK we would be forced to downgrade our house, not have holidays and send our child to whatever school happened to be at the bottom of the road.

I choose to be forced into staying

Rete

I don't see it as forced. Your husband could work in the UK and you could have the smaller house, the less extravagant holiday, etc. The force you are talking of is called greed.

surly

I call someone living in poverty in a third world country as being forced by circumstances.
Not one of the worlds privileged complaining over the inappropriate use of eating utensils, or choice of underwear as forced by circumstances.

N1cky

Yes we could, but we 'choose' not to. I didn't say we took extravagent holidays, and I certainly wouldn't call us greedy.

We all make a choice to live the lifestyle we want, some people are forced to make decisions based on the choices they make.

I am sure your choices are very similar. Does anyone choose to live in a 2 bed flat and go on holiday to Skegness in a caravan?