It all boils down to this...
 

You've just got to accept that America is home now. I have to face it, rather than fight it. I've been gone from the UK for the best part of a decade and would probably feel even more out of place if I returned tomorrow.

The healthcare issue sucks here, Republicans are wankers and I have failed to get into American sports thus far, but this enormous country is my home now.

Note to self: deal with it and get into the Boston Celtics.

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Welcome to the dark side ;)

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I don't think the UK has changed that much, I think I would still fit in.

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I find that each time I go back to the UK I fell less and less like I fit in. I even find it hard to watch TV, or listen to the radio, it takes me a while to "tune in" to the accent, even though I still have my English accent...scary:eek:

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I probably would, but can't go back. I have to try to find a part of this country that I can be comfortable in. With the pending divorce, the USA is my oyster, so to speak of. New York, Pittsburgh, northern California, Oregon and Washington (state) are all high on the list.

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Have I missed something, why can't you go back?

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The UK will always be where I came from, but having spent the last few days / weeks soul searching, I know that I cannot go back there, not even to visit. I will still take solace in looking back at my time there while wearing heavily rose tinted specs, immersed in nostalgia, looking at it on Google Street View, but that's as far as it'll go. Logically, going back would just be "weird", especially as I have so many bad memories there and family that I'd rather were 4,000 miles away rather than 40 miles away.

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Mostly personal reasons, i.e. bad memories, shitty family. Looking at it objectively, I'm way better off over here.

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Don't tell them you've moved back :lol:

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You seem to miss it though, emotionally and culturally. Don't underestimate that. And the door's never closed , btw. No, you can't go back to the way you saw things before you left, but I've found that doesn't matter. You haven't stood still and nor has the country - you both have changed, and it all works.

Having said that, if you miss the UK I think you will fit in culturally better at the edges of this country than the middle. You might like the Pacific Northwest.

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Agreed, EtU you could always just pretend you were still living in the US, we won't tell :D

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Exactly.

And really, it isn't "going back". It's "going on" - but just in your own country. What you do with it is up to you - but it certainly isn't returning to the past, because the past is another country, as they say.

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LOL, I actually contemplated that, but while that may work as far as the wanky family is concerned, it won't keep the ghosts at bay. The UK isn't a big country; I have memories in quite a few corners of it. I've also lived here for so long that I have most likely underestimated how subconsciously Americanized I have most likely become over the last 9 years. I would be in no less of a difficult predicament back there - no one to rely on an I'd be in what would most likely feel like a foreign country at this stage = bad move.

My gut is telling me to tough it out here, even if my heart tells me otherwise and history has proven that my gut instincts are seldom wrong. At this point, I could literally go back to the UK pernanently this week, but that would be a bad idea. I have as little there as I do here.

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Good way of putting it :thumbup:

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Well it's your call, but from your posts you seem to have a struggle with the US.

It seems unlikely that there are 'ghosts' in every part of the UK :unsure:

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I miss football, the countryside, pubs and the NHS. Nostalgia mate. We all idealize places we used to live in. If i grew some balls, I could find people here who are into the same stuff. There are plenty of "liberal" Americans who share my views on healthcare and the poor, etc. The more I look at it, going back would solve nothing. I have to accept this former colony as my home, warts and all.

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Well it sounds as though you can do what you want. So consider that seriously.

And if you stay here, I would seriously consider Portland, Oregon.

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Sally, you are right - I have been struggling, but I have also been in a bad marriage for many years. I at least have to wait it out before I chuck in the towel and go running back to blighty with tail lodged between legs. This is a big country and perhaps I can be happy here. I left a lot of emotional baggage back in the UK, most of which didn't follow me over here.

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The west coast seems very appealing. It seems that in the US, the further west you go, the warmer people are.

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Yes that makes sense.
Bit nutty in LA. I hear it's better up north.

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Seattle. I have a good feeling about the place. Home of grunge & all.

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And they had a good riot there today, which is always a plus. Shows life signs.:)

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So I heard. Actually the PNW has always appealed. I loved northern CA when I was there. I think it the part of America that I was *meant* to move to, rather than end up on various parts of the eastern seaboard.

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I live in the Pacific North West and I love it here. My husband is a native of Washington state. I go to college in Portland and live just across the state line in Washington. Weather is similar to UK but, and it's a big but, it actually gets lovely and sunny and warm in the summer:) There is a Brits group here too, I've only been once and they went to a tea room, but they go to pubs as well. Still have the problem of having to drive home from pubs as opposed to jumping in cabs, they do have them, but you have to order them in advance. Public transit not too bad if you actually live in Portland.

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Pending divorce? Was that hyperbole or is that actually on the cards? If so, I'm sorry it went in that direction. You may very well be able to find somewhere here you can fit in, though. There's elsewhere in Europe as well, if the UK isn't an option for you. Don't forget though, the UK isn't just one island - I can recommend a few nice corners of blighty for you to check out ...

Got me thinking though, if the straw ever breaks the camels back and my wife and I end up separated, it will be a case of 'I can't go back' for me to, lest I want to end up never seeing my children again. I'd not even be able to leave the state, it'd amount to the same thing in a place this big. Not that it's on the cards but it's not always all sunshine and kittens at home either.

Bollocks, that went all depressing there, it's nice to see you back. If you do decide to head west on I90, make a brief detour onto 94 and stop in for a pint ...

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Isn't it a good job I'm not vindictive? :nod:

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We all know you're a big soft bastard at heart :p

I think you can cut him a break on this one, though.

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I think I just did.

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I'm running half a step behind today, just to annoy everyone.

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Why tax yourself, constantly coming up with different ways?

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Keeps the mind sharp, old chap.

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It's an open forum and if you want to be vindictive, that's your call. Apologies for the nonsense before - I tend to get very defensive with regard to the UK. For what it's worth, I don't begrudge anyone for their success over here. If I gave that impression, that wasn't my intention.

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It wasn't the defensiveness, so much as the total lies and bullshit. But, as I said, I'm not vindictive.

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It all got completely out of hand. My apology stands.

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Apology accepted - no hard feelings.

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Cheers man, likewise.

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Get a room.

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Get a life.

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This is my life.

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Take a hike.