lilacheart

You are well trained , is that the army or Mrs Mac that has had such a good influence on you?

You will have to show Mr kerlyn how to do it when you get here... I think he knows where the dishwasher is but after that it gets very confusing..ie empty it/ load it, it is a minefield

dinger24

Well I can comment - Your a lucky sod Gremmie!
I have to warm up my "Better" halfs baffies in the morning!

DAVIE_MAC

Here ya go dinger:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=HFK71ADEjNw

When did you ever think we would see a young catholic lad from Dungiven open a song for the British Troops.

Shows how much things can change if the majority of the people want them to.

dinger24

Yep brought a tear to my eye, just imagine him turning up at the local Catholic school now! He'd get bricked!
Last time I saw catholics bricking each other was in a grave yard, oops that was a proddie and it was grenades not bricks
Any way it is for a very good and deserving cause!

lilacheart

2008's First Christmas Joke
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.

"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."

Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"


The man replied, "These are Carols."

And So The Christmas Season
Begins......

DAVIE_MAC

Getting a Wii for Xmas or thinking of getting into a car chase with the cops....Then these are for you, you have been warned.

DAVIE_MAC

Prob not to everyones taste but this was a phenomenal performance of "Snowpatrol's Run" on the X factor on Saturday by Leona Lewis.

The vocals are prob some of the best I have ever heard


Needs Max Volume

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=AYkYWqMudiU

dinger24

She has had this out for a wee while now and admittedly this is great live by one of the best ever live singers on the market, you need to hear the recorded version, puts shivers up yer spine!

DAVIE_MAC

I bet Danni & Cheryl are sat there going Bitch Wish I could sing like that.....

She just seems like shes in a trance until the end when she snaps out of it totaly encaptulated

dinger24

This is it - Danni is only half as good as her sister, she is really just a studio singer and not even a good one! If Cheryl was any good she would have been a solo artist. No neither of them are any where near the standard of Leona Lewis.

bigwheels241

A Northern Territory farm hand radios back to the farm manager.

'Boss, I gotta helluva problem here. I hit a pig with the Ute.

The pig's OK, but he's stuck in the bullbars at the front of my Ute and is wriggling and squealing so much I can't get him out.'

The manager says,'Ok, there's a ...303Rifle behind the seat. Take it; shoot the pig in the head and you'll be able to remove him.'

Five minutes later the farm hand calls back, 'I did what you said boss. Took the 303, shot the pig in the head and removed him from the bull-bars.

No problem there, but I still can't go on'.

'Now what's the problem?' raged the Manager.

'Well boss, it's his motor-bike. The flashing blue light is stuck under the right-front wheel arch.'

'... You there Boss?

kb33

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.

After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.

Swoooosh! Plop!! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into whoops of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant 'Take another drink!'

The bartender continues to shake his head in dismay . Swoooosh! Plip! Plop!! Two arms pop out.

The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, 'Take another drink! Take another drink!!' The bartender ignores the whole affair and goes back to polishing glasses, shaking his head, clearly unimpressed by the amazing scenes.

By now the boy is getting tipsy, but with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Plop! Plip!! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos.
The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left then staggers to the right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent.



The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says,














'He should've quit while he was a head...

bigwheels241

To all the people in accidents yesterday because you can't drive in rain, perhaps next year you should support the airlines. Just sayin.

Gremmie

is this some old australian proverb

bigwheels241

No, not at all, just a passing comment on silly UK drivers, like today I will have to phrase it like this