When Bovril went vegetarian for a while, I couldn't tell the difference.

Bovril!

You're probably better off just calling it "Agedashi Tofu" because that's what it is. Which when done well is delicious.

Probably not really a good analogy.

Which is fine if that's what you're after. But if you're after fish and chips, there really is no substitute.

Up to a point. If you want meat, go eat some meat. If you want a dick ... well you get the idea.

What if you want something that is like meat but doesn't come from an animal? Because that is what they want, so that is what they are eating.

Just stop being a pussy and eat the actual meat, then. We didn't spend thousands of years developing agriculture so some dripping wet hippy can sit there and bellyache about the 'suffering' of a species that wouldn't even exist if we didn't farm it for food.

Veggy takeout is sometimes safer than eating under cooked meat.

Quite, those animals are going to be killed regardless. Might as well chow down.

Because they don't want meat.

Plus we also eat omnivores (chickens, pigs), so it's not like we're just picking on herbivores, like other animals do. Animals that wouldn't think twice about snacking on one of us if we were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

That's not really my problem though, is it?

Too true!

No one was asking you to solve it.

Probably for the best. I tend to solve most problems with meat.

If you look up the word "unreconstructed" in the dictionary, there's a picture of Sultan next to it.