Pirate Oath Insult Generator

/helpful

I seem to be able to fins Savoy cabbage easier than white cabbage. And the only way to cook cabbage is with a shedloadof butter

My mum says you have to boil it furiously for at least 6 hours. At least, that's how I remember it.

That's to make sure grandad can eat it without his false teeth, while ensuring the smell impregnates to the deepest reaches of the sofa cushions...

Yes they do. . What is worse, it's reclaimed water and smells like a public toilet after the Notting Hill Carnival. Has all these signs saying Reclaimed Water - Do Not Drink From Sprinklers.

But fine to shower pedestrians in though.

Peds deserve all they get.

Mind you, they are better than those uppity cyclists.

Thems fightin' words.

I nearly added a rant about how cycle lanes end without warning or push cyclists into traffic and dumb "share the road" signs when they can't be arsed to put a cycle lane in. Which annoy me equally as a driver or cyclist.

Go slam yer head on a marlin spike ye pig faced butt scratchin' scurvy baboon !

Have a face full o' me boot ye jelly boned thumb suckin' crud bucket !

.....which was nice

Funny you should mention smell.
I opened a can of these last weekend and the smell made my wife gag and almost puke.
I never for the life of me knew my wife hated the smell of mushy peas. Now i have another weapon in my arsenal
They went well with my sausage roll, chips and baked beans.

Yummy with Fish and Chips Me Hearty!

I hate it when someone writes a very enthusiastic thank you note, and you can't tell if they are being sarcastic or not.

Aye i know a lot of people like that but the only thing I like with my fish and chips is salt and vinegar. There are some things in life which shouldn't be messed with

i can't even sit at the same table as my dad who has mushy peas and salad cream with his