Absolutely. That "hubby" nonsense makes me want to puke. It sounds so bloody twee.

My Little Nest of Vipers.

/Basil Fawlty.

I havent got a "better half", I`m complete as I am!
God I sound really smug and stupid!

Yup.

You`ve done it again!

I may have been ...

Actually, she's been cooperative. I just can't get off to sleep of an evening so I sit up late and waffle a bunch of crap on here instead

I'd much rather be referred to as 'twat face' by my wife, personally (note the non-patronising adjective being used there ...)

I'm sure she's happy to oblige you with that when she thinks it's necessary.

Probably.

Except I've never heard her utter the word 'twat' in her life. I'd probably get dickhead, or asshole. Not even arsehole, which I prefer.

In other news, my daughter, the sweet innocent thing she is, called me a wanker last night

Aren`t you the prime suspect to have taught her that one?

Indirectly, yes. I've been discovering she picks up a lot through osmosis

I think it's funny. My wife, however, does not. She's no fun, that one

I had a school friend whose 9 yr old brother silenced his parents at the dinner table by asking.'Mum, what's bollocks'.

Presumably the response was;
"Those prairie oysters on your plate, darling? Oh I see you've finished yours.. those are bollocks."

I don't think we have that delicacy on sale here in the UK, never seen it..

I always thought it was the initials of the person being talked about - David Sutton or something like that. This explains a lot more.