scrubbedexpat098

As much as I'm pro-choice, if I ever found out that my wife had aborted a child of mine without involving me I'd be utterly devastated. If the mother and father are together, it MUST be a joint decision. Surely love trumps feminism in this case?

petitefrancaise

if your relationship had reached a point where your wife couldn't communicate with you on this subject then I think the marriage is over.

scrubbedexpat098

Not necessarily so, if she knows that he would be stoked at the idea of becoming a father, but she's not keen on the idea of being a mother. It's a minefield of emotion, and that's why both should be involved. Once she cried and gave me the eyes I'd probably crumble anyway. My point is, in many cases it's not as simple as 'it's my body I'll make the decisions'

moneypenny20

Ultimately it is though. You and your wife could discuss it until the cows come home but as you say she cries and gives the eyes you give in. If you don't give in you're forcing her against your will. I haven't looked back but I think it was this thread I said if you're in a relationship you discuss it but no reasonable man is going to force his woman to carry a child she's violently against for whatever reason.

If I became pregnant and there were reasons why I wanted/needed to end it and my husband said no you're having it. I would be single and child free pretty fast. I think.

scrubbedexpat098

Yeah I do agree wrt reasonable men etc, and ultimately the woman is going to do what she feels she needs to. A blanket 'it's my body, it's my decision' approach I feel is pretty heartless though. Let me put it this way, if my wife wanted one, and discussed it with me I'd get over it eventually, and I'd support her at the time even if I didn't agree. If though I found out she aborted my child 20 years ago, and kept it from me, I'd walk even now.

jeepster

If a woman gets an abortion for charitable reasons (as an example, can't afford the child, etc.) the abortion is right and proper. If she gets the abortion for selfish reasons she's being immoral but it's only the woman who can answer those questions, it's not for anyone else to pass judgement.
If a guy is concerned about unintended pregnancies he should have used protection.

dc koop

Well for god's sake wear a rubber. take the pill or have a vasectomy. How anybody with a reasonable education could end up accidentally pregnant these days is beyond me

moneypenny20

Understandably. However the main point of the tread is that some random men/strangers believe they have the right to determine what every woman does with her body. It's not her husband, it's government. If you and your wife agreed that a termination was necessary I don't think you'd be too happy to have some senator telling you you can't because he believes in some random section of a fairy story.

jeepster

The Bible doesn't mention abortion. The anti abortion movement is political.

moneypenny20

I know that. However many people in the more fundamental frame of mind disagree.

SultanOfSwing

Well, accidents do happen to even the most careful. I've done the 5am run to the chemist for a pregnancy test a few times myself (they all thankfully came back negative). Unfortunately, not everyone can take the pill as well, my wife can't because of her blood pressure.

I plan to get snipped soon, of course, so it'll become moot for me, but there should still be the legal option of abortion for those who make the choice to have it.

scrubbedexpat098

Fair enough, totally with you on the random governent bloke getting involved, and anything done for religious reasons automatically qualifies as bollocks. Just so's you know though, we're not all over bearing ass hats, oh I come across as one, but I frequently amaze my family with some of my views/ decisions, in a good way haha.

dc koop

I'm very happy for you Sultan otherwise you'd make headlines in the National Enquirer.

Yep get snipped. I did it years ago. Never regretted it

SultanOfSwing

Yeah, yeah. You know what I meant ...

Just money standing in the way at the moment. My insurance company website estimates about $400.00, which isn't exactly big bucks, but there are other places we need to spend that just now.

Bloke in work just had one though and his bollocks were going through hell for about a week longer than they should have been. Almost put me off, then I thought of not being able to have more children and never having to use another ****ing johnny ever again for the rest of my life, and was back on board.

scrubbedexpat098

My missus had to have a hysterectomy for medical reasons, so I've never had to. Mates tell me it's the smell of your cords being cauterized that really got to them though. Bung your nose up