Moving to America despite hating it
Aug 28th 2014, 6:16 pm
#32
Deep in the woods of CT
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 7,002
Re: Moving to America despite hating it
But all the folks in Newtown thought they had successfully reduced the chance of being subject to gun crime by living in a bucolic New England town in a state that apparently comes 46th on the list for percentages of residents being gun owners. Yes, of course one can make good choices on where to spend one's life, but I believe that wherever one chooses to live in the world, there will always be something or someone, unless you are alone on a desert island. Your "well-off suburb" isn't immune.
Aug 28th 2014, 6:26 pm
#33
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2014
Location: Anchorage, AK, USA
Posts: 1,347
Re: Moving to America despite hating it
But all the folks in Newtown thought they had successfully reduced the chance of being subject to gun crime by living in a bucolic New England town in a state that apparently comes 46th on the list for percentages of residents being gun owners. Yes, of course one can make good choices on where to spend one's life, but I believe that wherever one chooses to live in the world, there will always be something or someone, unless you are alone on a desert island. Your "well-off suburb" isn't immune.
Aug 28th 2014, 6:28 pm
#34
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2014
Location: Anchorage, AK, USA
Posts: 1,347
Re: Moving to America despite hating it
He's not asking for the pros and cons of the USA though is he. He already has concerns and is asking if someone who feels that way will grow to love it. I can't actually call to mind a member on here in that position. Maybe 'Sultan of Swing'.
Guns, healthcare and culture were exactly the problems I had, you can keep fighting the feelings but it's hard. However, marriage means compromise and he may have to approach it in that spirit.
Guns, healthcare and culture were exactly the problems I had, you can keep fighting the feelings but it's hard. However, marriage means compromise and he may have to approach it in that spirit.
Aug 28th 2014, 6:40 pm
#35
Deep in the woods of CT
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 7,002
Re: Moving to America despite hating it
He's not asking for the pros and cons of the USA though is he. He already has concerns and is asking if someone who feels that way will grow to love it. I can't actually call to mind a member on here in that position. Maybe 'Sultan of Swing'.
Guns, healthcare and culture were exactly the problems I had, you can keep fighting the feelings but it's hard. However, marriage means compromise and he may have to approach it in that spirit.
Guns, healthcare and culture were exactly the problems I had, you can keep fighting the feelings but it's hard. However, marriage means compromise and he may have to approach it in that spirit.
But as someone else indicated, it would certainly make sense for his wife to investigate UK citizenship prior to any move.
Aug 28th 2014, 6:50 pm
#36
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: Moving to America despite hating it
Good points Owen and Nutmegger. The only problem will be if he finds he doesn't like it after all but gets stuck there due to kids. But men usually adapt OK.
Aug 28th 2014, 7:32 pm
#37
Account Closed
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,570
Re: Moving to America despite hating it
The transition was amazing, she never had single problem.
Its the day to day things and standard of living that may surprise the OP. So long as you have money of course.
Aug 28th 2014, 10:58 pm
#38
Account Closed
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2014
Location: London
Posts: 101
Re: Moving to America despite hating it
Thanks for all the replies. So many views!
Yes she has a good job but mine (solicitor) won't transfer over there. I'll end up doing something else and this is another point of contention. Friends have moved to alternate careers though.
My concern remains that I'm just not suited to America. I feel thoroughly European at heart and unsure how I'll get on in a country that (as Psyman suggested) reacted so bizarrely to a tragic shooting. But as many point out NYC isn't so far removed from London in terms of culture etc. Maybe I'll enjoy it. I certainly don't want to bore you all on here with complaints.
Excellent point about her UK citizenship but I doubt she's willing to wait that long. We don't have kids yet.
Happy wife = happy life as they say. She would stay if I insisted, but I couldn't do that to her.
Yes she has a good job but mine (solicitor) won't transfer over there. I'll end up doing something else and this is another point of contention. Friends have moved to alternate careers though.
My concern remains that I'm just not suited to America. I feel thoroughly European at heart and unsure how I'll get on in a country that (as Psyman suggested) reacted so bizarrely to a tragic shooting. But as many point out NYC isn't so far removed from London in terms of culture etc. Maybe I'll enjoy it. I certainly don't want to bore you all on here with complaints.
Excellent point about her UK citizenship but I doubt she's willing to wait that long. We don't have kids yet.
Happy wife = happy life as they say. She would stay if I insisted, but I couldn't do that to her.
Aug 28th 2014, 10:59 pm
#39
Just Joined
Joined: Mar 2011
Location: Santa Ynez Valley CA
Posts: 27
Re: Moving to America despite hating it
I like it here, a lot. I'd never consider moving back to the UK. I find the thought of visiting Disney World repugnant.
Nothing is stopping you vacationing in Europe. You are moving to the US, not the moon.
Politics are screwed up in every country, I say that and I am an elected official.
Healthcare, as I remember it, in the UK wasn't that good. My nan got bumped from waiting list to waiting list to have her cataract surgery, and died 8 years later without ever getting it done. It sounds like you'll be in a position to pay for health care here. My medical needs have been met better than when in the UK, but I pay more for them here.
Gun control sickening you? Not sure if you are pro or anti gun, as gun control usually refers to anti gun. A lot of people are fearful of guns, and whether justified or not, they choose to live in fear.
Perhaps a little reflection is in order, to consider the possibility your fears are deeper than you think they are. What is the real concern about here?
Nothing is stopping you vacationing in Europe. You are moving to the US, not the moon.
Politics are screwed up in every country, I say that and I am an elected official.
Healthcare, as I remember it, in the UK wasn't that good. My nan got bumped from waiting list to waiting list to have her cataract surgery, and died 8 years later without ever getting it done. It sounds like you'll be in a position to pay for health care here. My medical needs have been met better than when in the UK, but I pay more for them here.
Gun control sickening you? Not sure if you are pro or anti gun, as gun control usually refers to anti gun. A lot of people are fearful of guns, and whether justified or not, they choose to live in fear.
Perhaps a little reflection is in order, to consider the possibility your fears are deeper than you think they are. What is the real concern about here?
Aug 28th 2014, 11:15 pm
#40
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 6,159
Re: Moving to America despite hating it
Bit harsh....the OP is indeed reflecting, that's why he's here asking...
Aug 28th 2014, 11:18 pm
#41
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 22,105
Re: Moving to America despite hating it
Thanks for all the replies. So many views!
Yes she has a good job but mine (solicitor) won't transfer over there. I'll end up doing something else and this is another point of contention. Friends have moved to alternate careers though.
My concern remains that I'm just not suited to America. I feel thoroughly European at heart and unsure how I'll get on in a country that (as Psyman suggested) reacted so bizarrely to a tragic shooting. But as many point out NYC isn't so far removed from London in terms of culture etc. Maybe I'll enjoy it. I certainly don't want to bore you all on here with complaints.
Excellent point about her UK citizenship but I doubt she's willing to wait that long. We don't have kids yet.
Happy wife = happy life as they say. She would stay if I insisted, but I couldn't do that to her.
Yes she has a good job but mine (solicitor) won't transfer over there. I'll end up doing something else and this is another point of contention. Friends have moved to alternate careers though.
My concern remains that I'm just not suited to America. I feel thoroughly European at heart and unsure how I'll get on in a country that (as Psyman suggested) reacted so bizarrely to a tragic shooting. But as many point out NYC isn't so far removed from London in terms of culture etc. Maybe I'll enjoy it. I certainly don't want to bore you all on here with complaints.
Excellent point about her UK citizenship but I doubt she's willing to wait that long. We don't have kids yet.
Happy wife = happy life as they say. She would stay if I insisted, but I couldn't do that to her.
Aug 28th 2014, 11:21 pm
#42
BE Irregular
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Tampa Bay Florida
Posts: 4,849
Re: Moving to America despite hating it
I never wanted to visit USA. Met a girl and it became a possibility. Took the plunge 10 years ago. Girl left 5 years ago. I decided to stay, even though there is nothing keeping me here.
Not really sure why, not good with change I think. No regrets about trying it though. And I can go back any time.
I also changed careers, hotels to banks
Not really sure why, not good with change I think. No regrets about trying it though. And I can go back any time.
I also changed careers, hotels to banks
Aug 28th 2014, 11:43 pm
#43
Account Closed
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 0
Re: Moving to America despite hating it
Take it from me, insist on the UK citizenship. We too were in a hurry to move and had we waited to do all the paperwork, etc, I'd have an avenue to return (if we were going back.) Under current immigration standards it would only be my husband and our daughter (British born) that would have the opportunity to move back.
Aug 28th 2014, 11:45 pm
#44
Account Closed
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 0
Re: Moving to America despite hating it
You never how a move can change an opinion of a place, even one you think you don't like.
I didn't like Canada the one time I visited, then met a Canadian gal and ended up moving here, and in the end, could not have been better decision. Canada is basically Diet US though, mostly the same with some better stuff thrown in to make it a bit different.
I didn't like Canada the one time I visited, then met a Canadian gal and ended up moving here, and in the end, could not have been better decision. Canada is basically Diet US though, mostly the same with some better stuff thrown in to make it a bit different.
Aug 29th 2014, 12:02 am
#45
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 22,105
Re: Moving to America despite hating it
Just a lot more complicated now and much easier if she has her UK citizenship, should they ever want to go back.