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-   -   Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it. (https://britishexpats.com/forum/trailer-park-96/baptising-baby-us-struggling-find-somewhere-do-922786/)

Harveyspecter Mar 1st 2019 2:13 pm

Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 
I'll cut to the chase, we have had a nightmare trying to find somewhere to baptise our baby. Neither my wife nor I are particularly religious, but like my parents, I wish to baptise my kid so she has the option to follow religious beliefs or not.

Most places we have asked have basically refused to baptise her unless we have been long term members of their congregation. As a last resort we went to a catholic church and they insisted they could only carry out a baptism if we had written proof that the godparents were all devout Catholics from their local church! We have a UK and US set of god parents, and the UK godparents are about as far from Catholic as can be!

We have a meeting with a pastor from a First Presbyterian church this week, but even then it looks like they are wanting us to attend mass and join their church for a while which I'd rather not do what with being an atheist. So much for God loving all right?! I just want my baby's head whetted.

Any other Brits had the same issue and can offer some advice?

Lion in Winter Mar 1st 2019 2:16 pm

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

Originally Posted by Harveyspecter (Post 12646107)
I'll cut to the chase, we have had a nightmare trying to find somewhere to baptise our baby. Neither my wife nor I are particularly religious, but like my parents, I wish to baptise my kid so she has the option to follow religious beliefs or not.

Most places we have asked have basically refused to baptise her unless we have been long term members of their congregation. As a last resort we went to a catholic church and they insisted they could only carry out a baptism if we had written proof that the godparents were all devout Catholics from their local church! We have a UK and US set of god parents, and the UK godparents are about as far from Catholic as can be!

We have a meeting with a pastor from a First Presbyterian church this week, but even then it looks like they are wanting us to attend mass and join their church for a while which I'd rather not do what with being an atheist. So much for God loving all right?! I just want my baby's head whetted.

Any other Brits had the same issue and can offer some advice?

The US doesn't do christianity in the same way as the UK does. It really is far more of a religious thing than a cultural thing as it is in the UK, so the idea of getting a baby baptized into a religion when you are an atheist will make no sense to them. I wouldn't worry about it. If your child wants to be a christian when she grows up, she can be baptised at any age. Grown ups are often baptised here.

SpoogleDrummer Mar 1st 2019 2:24 pm

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 
You're giving them the choice to decide to be religious or not but limiting them to Christianity? What if they decide to be Jewish or Muslim etc etc? Baptism is a complete waste of time unless/until the child decides to practice a religion and then they'll always let you in as an adult etc so I wouldn't worry about it.

scrubbedexpat099 Mar 1st 2019 2:44 pm

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

Originally Posted by Lion in Winter (Post 12646111)
The US doesn't do christianity in the same way as the UK does. It really is far more of a religious thing than a cultural thing as it is in the UK, so the idea of getting a baby baptized into a religion when you are an atheist will make no sense to them. I wouldn't worry about it. If your child wants to be a christian when she grows up, she can be baptised at any age. Grown ups are often baptised here.

Makes no sense to me.

Sounds more an Instagram thing.

Harveyspecter Mar 1st 2019 3:03 pm

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

Originally Posted by SpoogleDrummer (Post 12646114)
You're giving them the choice to decide to be religious or not but limiting them to Christianity? What if they decide to be Jewish or Muslim etc etc? Baptism is a complete waste of time unless/until the child decides to practice a religion and then they'll always let you in as an adult etc so I wouldn't worry about it.

I see your point yes, I'm not as fussed it is more the maternal side of the family, but pending how this meeting goes I'm inclined to just give them the choice as an adult as you say.


Originally Posted by Boiler (Post 12646129)

Sounds more an Instagram thing.

It's not. Excuse my tone as I'm in a bad mood today but don't make assumptions, I'm as anti social media as you can get.


Anian Mar 1st 2019 3:30 pm

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 
Get yourself inducted as a priest on the internet, then do it yourself in the bath. It's what I did to shut people up about it and make them realise how weird the whole process is in the first place. A priest isn't magical, why do people think they have more power just because they are employed by another group of people who think they know what God wants? Getting a certificate off the internet is no different. The water isn't made magical by the priest, or by the words said. And if God is going to treat your kids any differently due to this involuntary ceremony then we're probably all screwed anyway by some rules we don't even know about.

scrubbedexpat099 Mar 1st 2019 3:31 pm

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

Originally Posted by Anian (Post 12646166)
Get yourself inducted as a priest on the internet, then do it yourself in the bath. It's what I did to shut people up about it and make them realise how weird the whole process is in the first place. A priest isn't magical, why do people think they have more power just because they are employed by another group of people who think they know what God wants? Getting a certificate off the internet is no different. The water isn't made magical by the priest, or by the words said. And if God is going to treat your kids any differently due to this involuntary ceremony then we're probably all screwed anyway by some rules we don't even know about.

:goodpost:

Harveyspecter Mar 1st 2019 3:33 pm

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 
That's a great idea, thank you!!!

Hotscot Mar 1st 2019 4:01 pm

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 
Or wait and ask if the baby wants baptized.
Makes no difference either way.

Rete Mar 1st 2019 4:31 pm

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 
Your don't have to be a priest or a minister to baptize an infant. Walk into any Catholic church and walk out with some holy water. Find the language on the internet and baptize your child yourself.

I left that religion many decades ago. They refused to send a priest to my father's burial because he was from out of state (moved when he retired) even though he was a former member of that church, was being buried in that church's cemetery, and attended church of the same denomination in his new home. They wanted $500 upfront and a mass before they would consent to perform the ceremony at the burial site. My daughter found a priest from an orthodox church who came for nothing (we gave him a substantial gift as a thank you).

Just because you are baptized into one particular religion does NOT mean you have to practice that faith or ever have anything whatsoever to do with that church. All teenagers and/or adults will make their own religious decision when they are ready. It is not like you are making them attend church weekly, go to classes to learn the bible and religious ceremonies and eventually, if Catholic, make communion or confirmation and it is not like taking off a foreskin for crying out loud.

Nutmegger Mar 1st 2019 5:37 pm

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 
Get it done on your next trip to the UK. There's no time limit.

SpoogleDrummer Mar 1st 2019 5:42 pm

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

Originally Posted by Rete (Post 12646212)
Just because you are baptized into one particular religion does NOT mean you have to practice that faith or ever have anything whatsoever to do with that church. All teenagers and/or adults will make their own religious decision when they are ready. It is not like you are making them attend church weekly, go to classes to learn the bible and religious ceremonies and eventually, if Catholic, make communion or confirmation and it is not like taking off a foreskin for crying out loud.

No-one said they do, it was just a response to the argument of getting them baptized just in case they want to follow that religion because if you did that you may as well induct them in to all religions just in case though I concede some have more permanent initiations than others.


chawkins99 Mar 1st 2019 6:02 pm

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 
When our daughter was born, we made the decision not to baptize. She can make up her own mind later.

27 years later, she has 'dabbled' in several different churches but has no real belief system. Her best friend from college is Mormon.

Let the child decide...

Ash UK/US Mar 1st 2019 9:30 pm

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

Originally Posted by Harveyspecter (Post 12646107)
like they are wanting us to attend mass and join their church for a while which I'd rather not do what with being an atheist. So much for God loving all right! I just want my babies head wetted

With as much due respect as I can muster this post might win the award for the most stupid thing I have read today.

vikingsail Mar 1st 2019 9:39 pm

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 
If its just head whetting you are looking for I am sure this organization will oblige - the Pastafarians. I'm fairly sure you can even be ordained yourself:

https://www.venganza.org/


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