Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

I'll cut to the chase, we have had a nightmare trying to find somewhere to baptise our baby. Neither my wife nor I are particularly religious, but like my parents, I wish to baptise my kid so she has the option to follow religious beliefs or not.

Most places we have asked have basically refused to baptise her unless we have been long term members of their congregation. As a last resort we went to a catholic church and they insisted they could only carry out a baptism if we had written proof that the godparents were all devout Catholics from their local church! We have a UK and US set of god parents, and the UK godparents are about as far from Catholic as can be!

We have a meeting with a pastor from a First Presbyterian church this week, but even then it looks like they are wanting us to attend mass and join their church for a while which I'd rather not do what with being an atheist. So much for God loving all right?! I just want my baby's head whetted.

Any other Brits had the same issue and can offer some advice?

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

The US doesn't do christianity in the same way as the UK does. It really is far more of a religious thing than a cultural thing as it is in the UK, so the idea of getting a baby baptized into a religion when you are an atheist will make no sense to them. I wouldn't worry about it. If your child wants to be a christian when she grows up, she can be baptised at any age. Grown ups are often baptised here.

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

You're giving them the choice to decide to be religious or not but limiting them to Christianity? What if they decide to be Jewish or Muslim etc etc? Baptism is a complete waste of time unless/until the child decides to practice a religion and then they'll always let you in as an adult etc so I wouldn't worry about it.

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

Makes no sense to me.

Sounds more an Instagram thing.

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

I see your point yes, I'm not as fussed it is more the maternal side of the family, but pending how this meeting goes I'm inclined to just give them the choice as an adult as you say.

It's not. Excuse my tone as I'm in a bad mood today but don't make assumptions, I'm as anti social media as you can get.

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

Get yourself inducted as a priest on the internet, then do it yourself in the bath. It's what I did to shut people up about it and make them realise how weird the whole process is in the first place. A priest isn't magical, why do people think they have more power just because they are employed by another group of people who think they know what God wants? Getting a certificate off the internet is no different. The water isn't made magical by the priest, or by the words said. And if God is going to treat your kids any differently due to this involuntary ceremony then we're probably all screwed anyway by some rules we don't even know about.

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

:goodpost:

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

That's a great idea, thank you!!!

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

Or wait and ask if the baby wants baptized.
Makes no difference either way.

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

Your don't have to be a priest or a minister to baptize an infant. Walk into any Catholic church and walk out with some holy water. Find the language on the internet and baptize your child yourself.

I left that religion many decades ago. They refused to send a priest to my father's burial because he was from out of state (moved when he retired) even though he was a former member of that church, was being buried in that church's cemetery, and attended church of the same denomination in his new home. They wanted $500 upfront and a mass before they would consent to perform the ceremony at the burial site. My daughter found a priest from an orthodox church who came for nothing (we gave him a substantial gift as a thank you).

Just because you are baptized into one particular religion does NOT mean you have to practice that faith or ever have anything whatsoever to do with that church. All teenagers and/or adults will make their own religious decision when they are ready. It is not like you are making them attend church weekly, go to classes to learn the bible and religious ceremonies and eventually, if Catholic, make communion or confirmation and it is not like taking off a foreskin for crying out loud.

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

Get it done on your next trip to the UK. There's no time limit.

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

No-one said they do, it was just a response to the argument of getting them baptized just in case they want to follow that religion because if you did that you may as well induct them in to all religions just in case though I concede some have more permanent initiations than others.

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

When our daughter was born, we made the decision not to baptize. She can make up her own mind later.

27 years later, she has 'dabbled' in several different churches but has no real belief system. Her best friend from college is Mormon.

Let the child decide...

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

If its just head whetting you are looking for I am sure this organization will oblige - the Pastafarians. I'm fairly sure you can even be ordained yourself:

https://www.venganza.org/

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

+1:thumbup:

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

:goodpost:

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

Please do not perpetuate the myth that religion is important. Let the child form it's own opinion.

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

The First Presbyterian insist that you attend Mass ? Something strange there !

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

Yes, I'd be tempted by this one! But if you want to be with one of the mainstream religions, the good ol' wishy-washy C of E might be your best bet. My wife and I wanted to be married in a church, because churches do the solemnity thing well. And I rather fancied the idea of being married by banns instead of with a Licence. So we enquired at the C of E church in Toronto (this was 50 years ago, but the principle holds) and were told we had to attend services for three successive weeks. So we did that, and all went smoothly.

Baptisms I don't know about, because our child has never been "done" - unless he did it himself when he was with the hippies in Latin America.
*** The C of E is the Episcopalians in the US, I think.

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

The reason for the three weeks is because C of E churches have to read the Banns of Marriage on the three Sundays prior to the marriage. Strictly speaking at least one of the couple should be in church to hear them so that they know they have been read. :)
(its amazing what nuggets stick in your brain from back in the Dark Ages, isn't it!!)

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

In Scotland the established church is Church of Scotland (Presbyterian in Governance, Calvinist in Theology). Parish Minister will christen children - even if parents are non-religious.

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

If I remember from our banns 44 years ago they were read 3 consecutive weeks at both the church we married in which was the parish i lived in and in the parish church where M lived. We were asked to hear them in both churches during those 3 weeks.

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

Yeah, that sounds right, as Dad used to read the Banns for people marrying elsewhere who lived on his "patch"

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

I love the way the url of that site means "revenge". Also, please don't whet any babies' heads :scaredhair:

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

I agree, but baptising them when they don't remember is different from pushing religion down their throat contantly imo.

My bad, I used that term loosely.

Anyway, we have a solution now so thanks to all who responded.

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

Totally agree with you. Being an American where religious ceremonies play a major part in many of our lives (note: ceremonies not religious doctrines), I understand where the maternal grandparents are coming from. For instance it is a really big thing in the Catholic faith. It's a lovely ceremony and a great celebratory party afterwards but most often, the parents will never again enter church for a Sunday service until the next ceremonial occasion draws near which would be Holy Communion for the 8 year old.

I raised Catholic and raised my daughters in that faith. They were formally baptized, took CDC classes and made their Holy Communion and then Confirmation. We never were steady churchgoers and after their Confirmations the girls never went back to church until one married a man who was Catholic and the process started all over again with their children. The other is a confirmed atheist and that is fine with me. It is her choice.

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

Yep, and the main thing here is that as part of 'ceremony' my wife wants our daughter baptised in the same dress she was baptised in. No way will she fit in that as an adult! :rofl:

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

We have a christening gown in our family. Originally made for my Grandmother in 1910 and has been used for at least 5 generations since. I'm not sure who is the current custodian. I was baptized in it in 1962.

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

That's awesome Chawkins.

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

Sometimes it's good for a laugh.
But not with the current 'issues' that are seeing much more, needed, light.

Was Michael Jackson a 'good' Christian?

Think of the children.

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

I guess I was advocating against the "tradition". I myself was Baptized as a baby, but my sister a couple years later was not, and we suffered no Ill effects, and I am a godfather of a now 25 year old, so I am a bit hypocritical. I think "playing along" with the traditions of one religion or the other is a major problem in the world.

Re: Baptising a baby in the US, struggling to find somewhere to do it.
 

Im a Godfather too of many young and older adults and I hail from a Catholic background and I too was baptised. Funny thing is the local Police seem to have an interest on me becoming a Godfather.