This practice is a norm everywhere in Thailand. Thai-Chinese have a very different ceremony.

I think you are confused Thai with India or Chinese. Thais value their daughters as much as sons. In many families girls are the favorites, not boys. Oh! Thais never dump their daughter to die in the forest. Get your fact right.

Sinsod is paid in all occasions regardless of the bride's status whether she's a widow, divorce, or quite a mature age.

This is a Thai culture for centuries and it will not go away. Family life will only survive if the couple respect each other way of life, customary, culture.

GMT we are going to have to agree to disagree on this.

Try and find a true book on Thai culture that includes Sin Sot (i.e. one that was written more than 30 years ago). Not confusing with India or China - I live in Thailand, I am pretty sure of that - also I didn't say Thais dump their daughters in the forest etc, I said it was intended to stop that occuring - like it does/did in China and India (both of which Thais have had a long cultural exchange with - in fact most of the Thai culture comes from India). If you think Sin Sot is paid to prostitutes, divorcees, old maids, etc then they must have seen you coming - sorry. Ask a young Thai man if he would pay Sin Sot to marry such a lady. This is not my judgement call - this is life in Thailand today, PR is not big here.

I did say that it was emotive - and you proved my point beautifully.

I don't need to read a book on this, I am Thai by birth. My family has been living in Thailand for hundreds of years as far back as we can trace.



The value of human being doesn't get diminished by being prostitutes, divorcees, or old. If you want to be with someone for some period of your life then you would do whatever it takes to show that you respect that person.

As nice as that sounds, that doesn't exactly match my experience of Thailand. Case in point, many Bangkok residents consider people from the north east and other places in the country to be little better than animals.

This is an overstatement. I'm sure decent people will not compare other human being with animals no matter how bad that person is or where they come from.

I will agree if you refer this as a class bigotry. But hey, class systems have been practicing in the UK and still pretty much alive. Let's face it, around the world people in the capital city generally make country folks small, see them as less sophisticated. This attitude is not unique to Thais. Be fair.

I was living in Bangkok at the end of the Thaksin era, and the subsequent bitterness between reds/yellows (which is still going on). I'd say the attitude of bangkok people went a lot further than thinking people from rural areas were unsophisticated country bumpkins. Especially amongst the more hi-so yellows.

Maybe once the old money/new money problems have been sorted out things will be different and their won't be such divisions.

I wish I could continue to discuss this matter but this is not what the OP wants to know and/or interest. Probably if you want to take it out of the room and start a new thread, I might be there.

Well I think they do, but maybe sometimes it's just a bit jokey.

When I lived in Phuket, some local friends told me that those from Bangkok were stuck up Though they said, in turn, that those from Bangkok thought they were monkeys

Prices for the "dowry" as it really is differs on the quality of the bride.

Virgin Masters degree educated upper class family 2mill ++

Divorced, single mum, prostitute/bar girl etc = NIL. Many farangs pay a sin sot for prostitutes and are being cheated.

Poor family with no degree but virgin/unmarried < 100,000 Baht

Foreigners are often charged 3x going Thai rate though.

I would run away if high demands as you will have a life time (or as lnga s marriage lasts or your cash runs out) of demands for cash. If her family are educated they will not want cash but see that their daughter gets a dowry as a safety net and for face value.

To be honest many men go "gaga" over a girl that is equivalent to trailer park trash (USA) or council estate dole dossers (UK) and wonder why they get ripped off and treated badly. They wouldn't marry several social classes lower in the west so why in Thailand? There are so many really nice middle class educated Thai women to choose from. However they wouldn't be seen dead in a bar (outside of trendy middle class Thai bars that is). Such women make good wives with some cultural understanding on both parts. Such wives/families will only ask for wedding costs to be paid for and a gift to the wife to show you are not a loser to save face. That is reasonable! Anymore is just a bad sign - and run away!

And "respectable" Thais will have NOTHING to do with foreigners !

wat?

How does it work if you're marrying a Thai husband? Do you have to pay something?

What if he's not well endowed... do you get a substantial discount?

Many centuries ago a bride's family needed to pay sin-sot to the groom, or another way round depending on the mutual agreement, so that he could move in and helped with the farming or planting. Nowadays all native Thais still prefer daughters to sons, as they can look after their parents until the end of life. But Chinese families like males, since they can pass on the family chain with surnames.

Things have changed quite a lot now due to the new laws and IT in Thailand. A missus is able to keep her surname if she wishes. Having said that, 'sin-sot thong mhan' (� ¸ª� ¸´� ¸™� ¸ª� ¸­� ¸”� ¸—� ¸ ­� ¸‡� ¸«� ¸¡� ¸±� ¹‰� ¸™) is till common practice in the country. I feel a bit sad every time I hear about this sin-sot as a rip-off issue for farangs. Don't know how to change your attitudes toward it, as some good or bad bride's families do exist. It is certainly a matter of luck!

Very few female foreigners fall in love with Thai guys, possibly because of the sexual imbalance (too small?), appearance or financial background. A would-be wife does not need to do anything at all. Just go to see her hubby's family and behave properly. As far as I know, most Thai families now feel good about their foreign daughters-in-law, for they might think their sons are lucky enough to get foreign wives; their grandchildren would be good-looking like many 'look-kreung' (� ¸¥� ¸¹� ¸� ¸„� ¸£� ¸¶� ¹ˆ� ¸� �). Life is not fair to males, is it?

Yes thats right - this is why one of the royal princesses was married to an American - the King was born in the States and educated in Europe. The last PM was born in the UK and hold dual nationality - the current and previous ones were both educated in the west. Chulalongkorn the Great sent his sons (except the crown prince who died before he was crowned) to England for education.

The only people that "have nothing to do with foreigners" are the biggotted nouveau self-styled hi-so wanna bees - just like in the UK, the real upper class are constantly out biggotted and out snobbed by the nouveau rich and class climbers.

I'm sure some do but the thing is that BKK is such a vast melting pot of people from all over Thailand that you have to ask who or what is a Bangkokian ? People from Isaan are everywhere in BKK just as people from the South / North / Middle ect .

Not that often you find people who have families that have lived in BKK for many generations , and even then there may be some connection with family in another province .

So often Thais in Bangkok are one step from the village and they all dream of going back to the village when they're old .