English is not an official second language in Spain, not at all

It may be an official language in Brussels at the European parliament, but not in Spain

Good post, good advice.

I have been here long enough to have known quite well many who realized when it was the best thing to do, having previously enjoyed long contented periods in Spain,
.... though I also knew one or two unfortunate ones who didn't make the right decision in time and they and their families suffered the consequences.

It may be true that facilities are getting stretched in the UK, but just lately down here some are deteriorating at an alarming rate, mainly due to the seriousness of the crisis.

Sure, but I'm sure he enjoyed every day of his retirement until it happened. If there is no care for him in Spain, they'll just send him to the UK, so he's in the exact same position.

Who will send him to the UK? The Spanish government won't

He will rot alone in his home unless he gets help from volunteers

His daughter should be ashamed. She is complicit in the maltreatment and possible death of her own father

All that was said is that the daughter didn't come over at the time it happened. The Spanish government will also send someone to his home and he'll have to pay for care from his savings. When the savings are gone, the daughter will have to pay and if she can't, they'll take his apartment.

just like the UK then

Exactly. It's the same back home, you only get the minimum and otherwise they take everything from you.

It's a common belief for new arrivals that Spain has a similar benefit system as the UK, 'the Spanish government will send someone to his home . . .'

The Spanish system is very different, nobody from the government agencies will visit the sick expat and as Cricketman said, 'he will be left to rot . . .'

Moses 2013 I'm afraid that you haven't got this right at all. The help available in Spain is minimal - not like the UK at all - I know this for a fact.

I know people in the situation that they have become ill, been 'fixed up' in hospital and sent home completely unable to fend for themselves. If it wasn't for the help of acquaintances raising money for their care and indeed providing care themselves they would likely starve and die in squalor.

It's not 'the same back home'. Nothing like it.

I think here in Madrid there is some sort of help given to old people I see a lot of very old people being helped by south americans mainly and the people they are helping certainly don't look rich to hire them but... I'm not sure cos its just based on observation I'll ask at the town hall the next time I have to prove I'm alive :-)

I have seen some oldies here in the village being visited by people who look like helpers. I've no idea if these are government employees or if the user has to pay but there is obviously some sort of service available. But it's not for all.

Very sad tale, this is one of the reasons why the BH and I gave up on "the dream" of our own place away from it all, with a bit of self sufficiency thrown in.

This situation happened to my father a few years ago. Although he had a ground floor elderly/disabled place to go back to, he had been admitted to local hospital because he couldn't do things for himself and had 2 falls inside 24hrs and was admitted for observation.

The very kind Social Services lady said that he should be released to his own home as that was his wish. My sister and I pleaded that he was on his own, he had fallen again in hospital trying to get to the toilet, and he didn't have the strength in arms or legs to get himself out of bed. But she is part of the SS and knew better than us - insisting it was his wish that HAD to be obeyed.

So he was sent home and during the night fell trying to get out of bed, couldn't reach an emergency pull so lay there until my sister phoned him the following morning to see if he was alright.
Her calls got me there just after his GP who called an ambulance for immediate hospitalisation. When he arrived the lovely lady from the SS was not in the building and we never did manage to find her.
Father died of multiple organ failure from Cancer a couple of weeks later.

And that was in Hertfordshire, only 20 miles outside London.
So Spain is not the only place where these things happen.

I wonder what the alternative would have been, to deny your father his wish to return home and keep him in hospital and have him die in a strange environment among people he had no connection with or to take the risk that he may fall again and accept his wishes and return him to his home as asked? Whichever course was decided upon I guess it would have been controversial in retrospect. The least we can do is to respect the individuals wish.

yes, I suppose it is OK to send a man who was terminally ill home, knowing he had no chance of staying for 24hrs, to disorientate him even further by having to put him back into the ambulance and also to put him back into a totally different ward in a different part of the wing.


Yes, he would have preferred to have died at home, but his family weren't prepared to have him suffer and the medical people felt the same way.
Where he died wasn't where he wanted, but then as mother had died at home 20 years before that place wasn't available to him as he had moved twice since then.

This is something that everyone should face as they get to retirement age. As the sun comes up in the morning and sets at night - it will happen to you. And you may have to make an emergency compromise as to time and place.
Just be grateful that it wasn't earlier - when our mother died of cancer it was having at least seen and held her first grandchild, but she never got a chance to know her nor to even meet the 3 that came later.

Make the most of it while you can.

I had the same with my Dad. That period as he was dying was hell.

If they are of their own mind then their wishes cannot be over-ridden and ignored, no matter what. The person cannot be compelled.

It is the same vice versa of course. If the person really , desperately needs hospital attention and even if an ambulance is called or a doctor makes those calls , if the person states they will not go, then they do not go.

One small interesting thing from my own experience. If the person require a saline drip just to help ease some difficulties , then that can only be done in hospital. No go to hospital, then continue to suffer.

Having written that, at the final time, all the services did the best they as my Dad slowly died in his own home. I was given good support and so was he. Without them it would have been a far worse hell than it was