Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > Europe > Spain
Reload this Page >

When it's time to go home.

When it's time to go home.

Thread Tools
 
Old Jun 10th 2014, 9:05 am
  #1  
HBG
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
 
Joined: May 2009
Location: Alicante province
Posts: 5,753
HBG has a reputation beyond reputeHBG has a reputation beyond reputeHBG has a reputation beyond reputeHBG has a reputation beyond reputeHBG has a reputation beyond reputeHBG has a reputation beyond reputeHBG has a reputation beyond reputeHBG has a reputation beyond reputeHBG has a reputation beyond reputeHBG has a reputation beyond reputeHBG has a reputation beyond repute
Default When it's time to go home.

I've come across yet another example of expats leaving the time of leaving to go home until it's too late. The great majority of us eventually do return home even after many years of living in a foreign country.

That's what happened to this gentleman after many years in Spain. He's a widower and was healthy and fit until a fall late last year. He has just been recently released from a Spanish hospital after a hip and knee replacement. His married daughter in England couldn't come over to help because of her own family problems.

The expat had been lifted out of his bed and placed on a chair when a doctor told him his treatment was over and he had to go home. The patient doesn't speak Spanish and didn't know what was happening to him. He was wheeled into the corridor where a kindly nurse called the local expat HELP organisation who sent someone to take him home.

He was taken to his first floor apartment but needed to be carried up the steps to it. The expat couldn't do anything for himself, not even visit the toilet. The volunteers knew that the Spanish social system couldn't help, they are not just geared up for it and the helper coming to wipe a patient's bum will only speak Spanish.

The point of this post is: do not leave it too late before making yourself as safe as possible when living in a foreign country, and learn the language as best you can.
HBG is offline  
Old Jun 10th 2014, 10:37 am
  #2  
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,518
stuboy has a reputation beyond reputestuboy has a reputation beyond reputestuboy has a reputation beyond reputestuboy has a reputation beyond reputestuboy has a reputation beyond reputestuboy has a reputation beyond reputestuboy has a reputation beyond reputestuboy has a reputation beyond reputestuboy has a reputation beyond reputestuboy has a reputation beyond reputestuboy has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: When it's time to go home.

A very sad story. One can only imagine his loneliness and frustration.
stuboy is offline  
Old Jun 10th 2014, 11:03 am
  #3  
Dxf
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Beckenham, London borough Bromley
Posts: 1,617
Dxf has a reputation beyond reputeDxf has a reputation beyond reputeDxf has a reputation beyond reputeDxf has a reputation beyond reputeDxf has a reputation beyond reputeDxf has a reputation beyond reputeDxf has a reputation beyond reputeDxf has a reputation beyond reputeDxf has a reputation beyond reputeDxf has a reputation beyond reputeDxf has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: When it's time to go home.

Hola

The British Consulate may be able to help repatriate in cases such as these

Davexf
Dxf is offline  
Old Jun 10th 2014, 12:04 pm
  #4  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 990
Neptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: When it's time to go home.

I think there are many stories like this that we don't hear about. It's a lesson in thinking ahead and doing something before we are too frail to pack up and deal with the stressful business of selling up and moving.
If a partner has a stroke, accident, dementia or any other serious condition, it completely alters their life in Spain. Relatives cannot drop everything and fly over to spend what may be many months in caring and sorting problems.
Paying for daily or 24 hr care is very expensive.
Many can no longer cope with maintaining a property, garden and pool, and it can cost a lot for paid help.
Just everyday dealing with matters that may not be straightforward, is stressful, and after years in Spain some have had enough.
The problem for many is selling the property, understandably not wanting to let it go for a pittance, and hoping to have enough to buy something decent in UK.
Neptuno is offline  
Old Jun 10th 2014, 12:21 pm
  #5  
BE Forum Addict
 
andyrich666's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: Finally now living in Lo Marabu, Rojales, and it feels like home
Posts: 3,569
andyrich666 has a reputation beyond reputeandyrich666 has a reputation beyond reputeandyrich666 has a reputation beyond reputeandyrich666 has a reputation beyond reputeandyrich666 has a reputation beyond reputeandyrich666 has a reputation beyond reputeandyrich666 has a reputation beyond reputeandyrich666 has a reputation beyond reputeandyrich666 has a reputation beyond reputeandyrich666 has a reputation beyond reputeandyrich666 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: When it's time to go home.

I assume care is cheaper here than in the UK, its 7€ a hour in day and 9€ at night.

Id rather die here than have to go back to the UK ill
andyrich666 is offline  
Old Jun 10th 2014, 12:23 pm
  #6  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 6,148
Moses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: When it's time to go home.

Originally Posted by HBG
I've come across yet another example of expats leaving the time of leaving to go home until it's too late. The great majority of us eventually do return home even after many years of living in a foreign country.

That's what happened to this gentleman after many years in Spain. He's a widower and was healthy and fit until a fall late last year. He has just been recently released from a Spanish hospital after a hip and knee replacement. His married daughter in England couldn't come over to help because of her own family problems.

The expat had been lifted out of his bed and placed on a chair when a doctor told him his treatment was over and he had to go home. The patient doesn't speak Spanish and didn't know what was happening to him. He was wheeled into the corridor where a kindly nurse called the local expat HELP organisation who sent someone to take him home.

He was taken to his first floor apartment but needed to be carried up the steps to it. The expat couldn't do anything for himself, not even visit the toilet. The volunteers knew that the Spanish social system couldn't help, they are not just geared up for it and the helper coming to wipe a patient's bum will only speak Spanish.

The point of this post is: do not leave it too late before making yourself as safe as possible when living in a foreign country, and learn the language as best you can.
Why too late? I agree with the language, but maybe it was his home (still is) and the same thing can happen in the UK, or any other place. There are plenty of old people with no kids and even if you have family, who guarantees that they will be there for you? If the kids live in Australia it would be exactly the same.
Moses2013 is offline  
Old Jun 10th 2014, 12:31 pm
  #7  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 990
Neptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: When it's time to go home.

Originally Posted by andyrich666
I assume care is cheaper here than in the UK, its 7€ a hour in day and 9€ at night.

Id rather die here than have to go back to the UK ill
Where did you get those figures from. A nursing agency here charges 20 euros an hour, even at your figures 24 hour care would be prohibitive. Anyone working in someone's home would also have to be vetted.
There are adverts in shop windows for helping in the house, but it's essential to get someone trustworthy.
If you have a serious or long term condition or disability, unless you are very wealthy, and can go to a residential complex, where every need is attended to, you would be far better off in the UK, where benefits and different care options would be accessible to you.
Another point, not enough thought is given to relatives who are going to have to sort your care, finances, property etc out here if you can't.
It must be a nightmare for those who have left it too late!
Neptuno is offline  
Old Jun 10th 2014, 12:35 pm
  #8  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
ann m's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Location: Cochrane, Alberta
Posts: 7,861
ann m has a reputation beyond reputeann m has a reputation beyond reputeann m has a reputation beyond reputeann m has a reputation beyond reputeann m has a reputation beyond reputeann m has a reputation beyond reputeann m has a reputation beyond reputeann m has a reputation beyond reputeann m has a reputation beyond reputeann m has a reputation beyond reputeann m has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: When it's time to go home.

Originally Posted by HBG
after many years in Spain....

The patient doesn't speak Spanish.
How does this happen? Not being rude or flippant....genuinely interested.
ann m is offline  
Old Jun 10th 2014, 12:37 pm
  #9  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 6,148
Moses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: When it's time to go home.

Originally Posted by Neptuno
Where did you get those figures from. A nursing agency here charges 20 euros an hour, even at your figures 24 hour care would be prohibitive. Anyone working in someone's home would also have to be vetted.
There are adverts in shop windows for helping in the house, but it's essential to get someone trustworthy.
If you have a serious or long term condition or disability, unless you are very wealthy, and can go to a residential complex, where every need is attended to, you would be far better off in the UK, where benefits and different care options would be accessible to you.
Another point, not enough thought is given to relatives who are going to have to sort your care, finances, property etc out here if you can't.
It must be a nightmare for those who have left it too late!
Even in the UK they can take everything from you. You pay into the system for years and then they take your home, so no different.
Moses2013 is offline  
Old Jun 10th 2014, 12:41 pm
  #10  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 990
Neptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: When it's time to go home.

Originally Posted by ann m
How does this happen? Not being rude or flippant....genuinely interested.
What do you mean How does this happen? Of course people should make an effort, but some cannot attain more than a rudimentary knowledge of Spanish, certainly not enough to deal with healthcare, authorities, utilities and legal matters. Some are just plain lazy, and it is shameful,if, after 20 years they can barely speak a word of Spanish.
Even if they are fluent, it won't help much if the resources are not available to help with their decreasing mobility or degenerative illness.
Neptuno is offline  
Old Jun 10th 2014, 12:43 pm
  #11  
Dxf
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Beckenham, London borough Bromley
Posts: 1,617
Dxf has a reputation beyond reputeDxf has a reputation beyond reputeDxf has a reputation beyond reputeDxf has a reputation beyond reputeDxf has a reputation beyond reputeDxf has a reputation beyond reputeDxf has a reputation beyond reputeDxf has a reputation beyond reputeDxf has a reputation beyond reputeDxf has a reputation beyond reputeDxf has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: When it's time to go home.

Hola

Many pensioners "get by" without being able to speak Spanish; no need in supermarkets and English is the official second language of Europe so many Spanish can speak English. You only need a couple of hundred words (nouns) to make yourself understood - understanding what people say to you is an entirely different thing; the accents can be atrocious - real local dialect unintelligible to those who speak the Kings Spanish !!!

Davexf
Dxf is offline  
Old Jun 10th 2014, 12:43 pm
  #12  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 990
Neptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: When it's time to go home.

Originally Posted by Moses2013
Even in the UK they can take everything from you. You pay into the system for years and then they take your home, so no different.
But it's better than being somewhere where you don't understand the lingo, haven't any money to pay for personal or domestic care, or feed yourself properly.
The UK is far better in this situation, warts and all!
Neptuno is offline  
Old Jun 10th 2014, 12:47 pm
  #13  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 6,148
Moses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: When it's time to go home.

Originally Posted by Neptuno
But it's better than being somewhere where you don't understand the lingo, haven't any money to pay for personal or domestic care, or feed yourself properly.
The UK is far better in this situation, warts and all!
But it was his choice to live there and if it made him happy. The day it happens in the UK he'd be just as miserable. You could also be living in the UK and might find some people with the same level of English, as a Spanish person in Spain.
Moses2013 is offline  
Old Jun 10th 2014, 1:09 pm
  #14  
FreeThinker
 
jimenato's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2009
Location: the moors and levels
Posts: 9,702
jimenato has a reputation beyond reputejimenato has a reputation beyond reputejimenato has a reputation beyond reputejimenato has a reputation beyond reputejimenato has a reputation beyond reputejimenato has a reputation beyond reputejimenato has a reputation beyond reputejimenato has a reputation beyond reputejimenato has a reputation beyond reputejimenato has a reputation beyond reputejimenato has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: When it's time to go home.

Originally Posted by Moses2013
But it was his choice to live there and if it made him happy. The day it happens in the UK he'd be just as miserable. You could also be living in the UK and might find some people with the same level of English, as a Spanish person in Spain.
He would get help - home visit carers - as a matter of course in the UK. It is entirely different in Spain.
jimenato is offline  
Old Jun 10th 2014, 1:20 pm
  #15  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 990
Neptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond reputeNeptuno has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: When it's time to go home.

Some people have been found in a dire situation out here. ill, doubly incontinent,immobile with perhaps an equally frail spouse. They may not have anyone in UK and even if they did they cannot give up their jobs to care for them;Will the Spanish health authority take them under their wing? Social care is available, but first someone must know how to access it, and of course speak Spanish. It's more likely they will be left, possibly in Squalor, until a charity hears about them. These charities do marvellous work, but cannot be expected to take on long term care, especially if there are no funds. Will they then be put in a Spanish residential home filled with residents and carers who they don't understand, and who don't understand them?
The alternative, in UK may not be ideal but it's a damn sight better than what they would face here!
Search "Georgia's story" on Murcia Today for a salutary lesson on what may go wrong if you leave it too long!
TOO many people think it can't happen to them.
Neptuno is offline  


Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.