Domino

perhaps you should stop doing the crossword whilst receiving your matrimonial services ?

bil

I look at the divorce statistics, and how many times I hear the same story. The kids come, her libido goes thru the floor and doesn't come back, he gets the glad eye from a passing female and thinks'Why not?' Then it's good by wife, kids and house.

Happened to a couple of friends of mine, one of which discovered later that the second child wasn't his. She wouldn't touch him but found enough libido to get pregnant by someone else.

If you are in a good relationship with an honest partner, then consider yourself fortunate. There's a lot of women out there whose reproductive strategy seems to be "Breed and move on."

Domino

God bil you are cynical..

the only thing I would suggest is that it applies to men as well as women.
back to tennis players in broom cupboards

bil

If you study reproductive strategy, in all animals it is a mixture of promiscuity and fidelity. Ever wondered why so many female mammals have a cycle that makes them receptive for a certain period of time, and like some spawn of hell for part of the cycle? One hypothesis is that given they have only so many windows in which to breed successfully, it makes sense to get rid of/drive off a male that hasn't succeeded in getting you pregnant.

Likewise breed and move on. Some are more monogamous and less promiscuous, others very promiscuous. You can see a reflection of that in humans.

Men and women have very different takes on sex.

Lynn R

It might just have something to do with the fact that she gets sick of picking his dirty underwear up off the floor and doesn't find a beer gut/balding pate terribly attractive. Men are far more likely to "let themselves go", IMO - but still seem able to delude themselves that women should barely be able to keep their hands off them.

Domino

used to be said that it was caused by rubbing it against the headboard too much
many man go for the fully bald when a small patch appears

many women as well as men let themselves go as well, most of the nurses in my local hospital would fail a BMI as obese, and as to "the blobs" using my local shopping centre today - they are all under 30.

Lynn R

And too many others go for the pathetic comb-over or growing the remainder long and wearing it in a thin, grey ponytail!

Yes, there are too many obese people of both sexes, but you can bet your life the women are the ones whose self-image suffers because of it, the men are still thinking "she must be a lesbian" if someone doesn't welcome their advances!

jackytoo

Lyn some karma for those 2 posts

bil

Oh yeah, both sides should make an effort.

The point being made was that when men get married/go into a relationshp, they think there's going to be guaranteed sex, and all too often they are heading for a very steep learning curve.

I liked what an agony aunt said to a woman who said she didn't want to have sex with her husband any more.

The AA basically said "When you got married, you effectively signed a contract that said there would be frequent, regular sex.

You are now in breach of that and if that's they way you want to go, then the only honest alternative is to divorce him and leave so he can be free to look for a better relationship."

megmet

In my opinion for what it's worth, what's missing in a lot of failed marriages is friendship.

After the first excitement wears off then sex twenty times a day doesn't seem such a good idea as it once did.
When the practicalities of running a home looking after the children and working full time come into play then neither party has the energy left!
It's also not at all romantic washing a mans smelly socks... especially if he is one of the old school who thinks the little woman should be grateful for the privilege!

After forty years together... thirty tree of them married, I can honestly say that it's being each others best friend that's made it work for us and got us through the ups and downs of married life...not the sex, as great as it's always been!

johnnyone

Sounds like a mirror of my marriage. Most if not all the downs were of my making, I just have the perfect wife.

Cuthbert Rizla

I'm lucky, I suppose, because my missus goes like a train and always has done.
It probably helps that she's 16 years younger than me.
AND she runs our family business and let's me get on with whatever I want to do in my retirement.
Which is mainly her.
Outdoors.
Wahaay !

bil

Sex is the glue in a marriage. Without that all you have is habit holding you together. Sex instigates the oxytocin feedback loop which is what long term love is all about.

The thing I can't comprehend is why, if women know that men think with their balls, why do so many of you let their partners out with their nuts like tins of condensed milk?

Unless of course secretly you want to be rid of them?

Domino

well sed Meg.

friendship\relationship is the key, it wasnt when I met someone else (yeah I know I'm the scumbag husband) it was several years before when I realised that we were pulling in different directions. I was working all the hours to get in enough to live and she was complaining that her friend had got herself a new car. She was sitting at home all day and friend was working nightshifts as a nurse.
when I tried to talk about it all she could say was "you don't know what I want!". I still don't, never been able to work it out, never will. I just had to get out of a one sided relationship that was stiffling me and effecting everyone around me.

As you get older either you grow together or grow apart.

and I never ever remember sex every day in that relationship before children, letalone after. I will not embarrass myself here in quoting her actual statement.

so Retirement - is it easy ? don't know, but will let you know a little later on in my life, all I know is that I am relaxed with my partner and thats always been the way since we first met.

bil

You're a misogynist
You're gay
You're impotent
You have a tiny penis
I faked all my orgasms.
The children aren't yours.

I think that covers the somewhat limited range of insults you are likely to get.